I want something that drives me, something that makes life worth living. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal. I promise. I just find everything boring. Desire is what drives us and it's something I lack. At least in a large enough scale to make it worth anything, if you get what I mean. I would even settle for hate, just someting. I'm too passive to want or feel for something enough to fight for it. I don't remember having to fight for anything in my entire life, so now I just don't, fight I mean. I don't know how. I don't know why but sometimes I think leaving would change that. I went backpacking once and I felt great when I did that, but escaping again won't really change anything. It didn't last time. Does anyone have any idea what I can do to change that about me?
be careful what you wish for. sometimes you find these driving passions right after something really bad happens to you.
Well you already desire to desire, don't you? You are driven to desire. I once heard a pair of radio personalities agree that neither of them felt they were sane until they were into their thirties. That helped me a lot. It's not necessarily a bad thing that you find the world boring. It could just mean that you are more interesting than most people, who are easily amused, satisfied with beer and sports and fucking.
desire does not "drive" us. desire is one of the aspects of the will. you don't want desire. your desire is telling you that, you want the act of willing. that is quite complex i, don't have room to go into that here. it is out there in the world and, also in you! start with something like medition and/or yoga. that will start you on your path to the act of willing.
