Missing Link found!

So religiously speaking, there was Adam & Eve and poof the species of man was on the earth.

Then the scientific theory, apes slowly evolved into caveman then modern man and viola man was on earth.

Now let's connect the two.

God created all of the animals (including apes) then he created man (in his likesness) then he created Eve (from Adams rib)...with me so far?

Adam and Eve give birth (which means they had sex) to Cain and Able. Then one day Cain kills Able (now there are three people on earth).

Adam and Eve might have continued to create more offsring, however Cain was left without a partner...or was he?

Here's the part that some people just can't wrap there minds around.

Being a lonely guy living on earth, Cain figured what hell, nobodies looking and he decided to fuck and ape...yes you heard me right.

Now becaue the dna of man is more dominent than the ape the offspring wer more manlike, but had ape like features and charactristics...POOF! the caveman was created thus showing the missing link between man an ape.

Chew on that!

 

hmmm, somehow that doesn't seem plausible to me..

 

I like it. makes perfect sense.

 

i call bullshit on this one...

 

why would cain fuck an ape when his hot ass mom was right there? i mean... seriously... i'd way rather bang a hot mamma than an ape. seriously.

also, how did able dying make cain without a partner? were two men planning to marry and then adopt? that's next to impossible to do even nowadays... there's so many holes in your story, and it just doesn't make sense... oh wait... you were arguing from the christian perspective of how things happened way back when... so of course it makes no sense. pay no attention to my babbling!

 

This is called cloning.

 

a pretty common fallacy....most people that follow the christian mythos forget two simple things...

adam and eve were the supposed first...nowhere does it say 'only'

secondly...when cain fled after murdering abel, he moved into a city....if cain and abel were adam and eve's eldest children (or only children) who, then, built the cities?

of course, if we throw in a little judiasm in the mix, lilith, adam's first wife, could have carried his seed, and produced children of her own, but even then, unless someone was making more humans, if lilith had a girl, that'd limit things a bit.

of course we can also throw in some 'angel theory' and discuss the nifelheim/giants, but those were the offspring of angels who'd followed the sins of lust with the daughters of man...but that doesnt' specify 'what' man.

no, the only really neat solution would be that adam and eve might've been the 'first' but not the only.

assuming god did the same as he presumably did with the other beasts, he didnt' just produce one pair of each, but built a pair, and then said 'this is good, I'll duplicate a few hundred thousand more.'

but I'm a pagan, what the hells do I know...lol

 

Wait, what?

People still believe this crap?

Evolution = scientific theory based on accumulation of evidence and extrapolating a hypothesis. Creationism = some guy 5000 years ago wrote it down, it's been translated at LEAST 5 times since then to even get into the first English version, with all the fallacies and mistranslations and political suppression that blatantly went on... yet people follow it

 

Adam was a pimp. He pimped Eve's hot ass out to the monkeys.
*burns in eternal damnation*

 

I can't see following a book filled with biased stories and totally living my life based on the information in that book. Although, I do "generalize" my thoughts on occasions based on mainstream knowledge. For example, the very simple thought that "God created Adam & Eve" a simple thought without going into great detail. Another generalized thought "man evolved from the ape" again a very simple thouhgt.

Give both thoughts a weird twist of uncommon rationale and the offspring of those two "generalized" thoughts is that someone fucked a monkey.

Oh and here are couple of other "generalized" thought more or less said to evoke more thought of at least a simple roll of the eyes...lol.

The Virgin Mary wasn't really a virgin...she just pull that excuse out the air to save her ass.

And Jesus was the first hippy. I find it kind of odd that in many of the pictures I've seen of bibical times, most people had short hair yet Jesus was depicted with long hair, and flip flops oh wait sandals.

 

The Old Testament alludes to the fact that there were people on earth before Adam and Eve.

The Virgin Mary was indeed not a virgin, she was just an "single woman", and the meaning got lost in the translation.

Jesus wasn't the first person to talk about peace and love either.

 

Floss afterward.

 

The bible is confusing...

 

and it only gets worse with each mistranslation....

if someone really wants a messed up set of things to read, look up the 'serpent seed' theory

I'm so glad I'm a pagan. I only get weird looks from praying to the sun and the moon, occasionally dancing naked, and not going to 'church'

I don't have to worry over all this psychological dissonance of 'who created who and why'

and no original sin. Instead, I have to be responsible for my own screwups instead of blaming some expression of my subconscious shadow

 

yah well im pretty sure apes and and humans cant reproduce together sooo

 

But...but...what about the Bush family? That's the only reasonable explination possible!!

 

no you're confused

that's how aids was created

 

yeah,
from the african green monkey...even africans are thinking "what green monkey is this?"

 

you know..you're right...george is more an example of a shaved chimp....

 

you know, one of the problems with incest is the compounding of genetic mistakes and diseases. i wonder if incest was acceptable back then because they were as close to physically perfect as humanly possible and incest only because a problem as genetic mutations came into existance outside the garden of eden.

man, the bible has some seriously freaky sex shit in there, you know?