bad trip!!!!!!!!!! please help

Hi, I had a horrible trip about 2 years ago. It was my first acid trip, but not my first trip ever. I had eaten mushrooms plenty of times before and always had a great time; and the same with ecstacy and marijuana. I went to a friends house and we all ate some paper. I had a horrible time. Some people came over that I didn't know and a few that I hadn't seen in a long time. I couldn't really communicate with them, I was just weirded out by them. Then, after they left I asked why they left and my "friends" told me it was because they didn't want to make me uncomfortable. The entire trip I was under the impression that everyone was fucking with me. They ended up hanging out in the living room while i stayed in the bedroom listening to tool on the computer. But I couldnt figure out how to change the songs so a buddy kept coming in there and doing it for me. But I swear I could hear them talking shit in the other room. It felt like they could control my thoughts and actions by saying things that seemed to have double meanings. I never saw them again. I have been weird ever since. I cant hang out with people or smoke weed or anything because I actually start tripping out. Not fulll blown but I can't make since of what people are saying, like they're talking gibberish and laughing at me because they know it weirds me out. It's not all the time, but it happens a lot. What is wrong with me? Please help, I want my life back.

 

That sucks bro.

Peace

 

You must remember, it's all a reflection of you.
Change the energy you put out and you change the energy you receive back.

For a long time when I smoked weed or took a psychedellic I lost all ability to utilize the english language. But I spent one trip focusing all my intentions on being able to grapple words poetically and in an almost comical flow. I can now speak very articulated, albeit completely crazy and manically, even under extreme intensity.

 

I know for couple of cases like that. First, you must understand that you are not the ceter of the universe and its not the whole world against you. Nobody is talking about you and you are not hurting anybody. All of that is caused by lack of self confidence, witch is caused by you not knowing who you are. When you lack self confidence, first thing that comes to your mind is that you are doing something wrong and that everybody will see that and make fun of you. Thats what acid does for us, showing us our weeknesses so we can see them and correct them. When you know who you really are, you don't have lack of self confidence and even if you are doing something wrong, it is very easy to say, "Hey, I made the mistake" with the smile, without thinking what others will think about you. You are who you are, and if somebody doesn't like that, that should be his problem, not yours. Those who love you, they will love you the way you are, even if you are doing something wrong. We are all human and we all make mistakes, and there is nothing to stress about it.
Now, how to regain your confidence, thats another thing and it is very personal. Nobody knows whats happening in your head, only you, and thats first thing you need to know. If you have some kind of mind blast, nobody will know that untill you show them or tell them, they don't know automatically. You also must understand that nobody is perfect, and some are better in one thing, while some in other thing, so try to explain to yourself what are you good at, try to put all the things that you are good at on the paper and you will be amazed. Just don't tell me that there is nothing that you are good at. There is plenty of things and try to remember those things. You will see that you are not that weird at all, its you who think of yourself for no valid reason that you are below others and you immidiately put yourself in your head in that position. Do you really think that nobody has anything else smarter to do than to talk about you? Think about it, its you who created all those stories in your head. The way you made them, you can destroy them same way. Why are you scared to trip again? Because you think that others will make fun of you. You already created the scenario in your mind, and no matter what you do it will be like that in your mind. Maybe the story was completely different, maybe they were just trying to help you and talking what to do to snap you out from your bad trip. The fact that your buddy was comming to change the tracks for you, tells me that they didn't have anything bad in their mind, otherwise they would tell you to fuck yourself and change songs on your own. Try to see that whole trip from a perspective of a viewer, like that character there was not you, try to see it as a movie and think logicaly. Were they really fucking with your mind, or it was you masturbating your mind to the point of not knowing when to stop?

 

^^^Excellent! I find it very easy to trip alone. You can't confuse yourself that much as you can be confused with a group of people. Everybody is in their own heads and you get bits and pieces of it and sometimes it can be very confusing. When tripping with a group of people and there is much confusion in your head 3 sentences to remember:

1. Story is not about you
2. Everything is ok and your friends love you
3. You are a good person and you haven't done anything bad or hurt your friends

It is the best to be with really good friends that you can trust cause at the moments that you can't trust yourself anymore at least you can trust them and if they see you getting a slightly of the road and know about these 3 rules, just telling them to you will make an instant switch in your brain.

 

Thanks for the help guys. I really appreciate the advice. I hope your right about it all being in my head. It really felt good to hear someone say that, like a massive weight was lifted from my shoulder, my soul really. I've never told anyone about this before. I guess Im not sure where to go from here. I've thought about seeing a shrink, but they wouldn't understand. I guess I'll try tripping again, but by myself and see if i cant see something in a new perspective. Thanks again!!!!!!!!!

 

man, i had the same problem a year ago. I was eighteen at a time and it took me a couple of months to recover. You don't have to worry, just take it easy. Everything is fine with you, you're not going crazy. I doubt your friends talk about you in that way, and if somebody really makes fun of you tell them something nice or tell them to fuck off. Someone once said that i got holes in my brain by using acid. ... that explains alot....

 

sounds alot like a salvia trip, feels like everyone is in on a joke except u and no1 will tell u