Of the mushrooms you've had personal experience with, which are the most consciousness-expanding and the least psychotomimetic (psychosis-inducing) mushrooms? I've had a bad experience with dried Hawaiian psilocybe last night (1 gram). It was very disappointing, and I didn't learn from it at in any meaningful way at all, as I did from my two earlier psilocybe experiences. I am usually very much in control of myself, and for this reason I was assured I could easily deal with it alone, like the first time I used them. The thing is this was different - at some point I became so confused that I was hardly aware of what was happening. I hadn't expected this. Psilocybe used to make me more (self-)aware, not less, as was the case now. But now I dissociated. It was like the effects of a large amount of alcohol or benzo. I don't remember much about what happened - it's all very hazy. My room was in shambles when I woke up So, as a result, when a friend expressed disapproval of the magic shrooms and I felt misunderstood, I let my feelings take hold of me, and eventually I panicked… Plenty of visuals, but fortunately no real hallucinations, so I didn't really get a bad trip - it was more the expanded emotionality that was upsetting. All I was really afraid of was fear, because at that point it acquired monstrous proportions. The increased emotionality was the only way my consciousness was really expanded, though -- sight, hearing, even touch, were mostly unchanged, which was very disappointing afterwards. Confusion and visuals were the most important effects. What followed was highly bizarre behavior. When I walked in the dark to the toilet, I somehow became convinced the door would get farther and farther away as I moved on - bang. Eventually, I took a spoonful of sugar (ugh) and laid down, waiting for the effects to stop. Stranger still, later I got a strange kind of cataleptic attack: my entire body seemed paralyzed except for my right arm, which was wildly flailing around in circles, resulting in sore spots on my hand and a damaged bedside table. Later I flung myself onto the ground and laid still there for some time longer. But the most bizarre thing that happened was that I believed I had some kind of apocalyptic epiphany: I was the universe, and everyone in it - and everything, because even all matter would be conscious somehow - was just a projection from who I used to be once; a memory of a time I was them. I, being the universe and therefore God, would subconsciously have invented every moment of my life some time in the past - and therefore of the whole of existence; this would include truth itself - whether something was true or not was something I decided depending on what I perceived, because my perception was the actual universe, and I'd have decided whatever I'd perceive at some point because I was God. Now, as the universe I'd decided to go through everything the universe goes through because every moment is valuable no matter what it would be. But as I'd realize this I'd also realize that's it's meaningless to try to undertake anything - eventually I'd go through the infinite cycle all over again, and become everyone and everything in time. Now I'd realized this, I became convinced that I was going to die just lying there in my cataleptic state, just *enjoying* how it'd feel to starve… But when the catalepsy ended and I got up, I was very confused that I was still alive - I should be dead, I thought. For some time I concluded that by having becoming aware of my true nature I must have become almighty -- that is, I could keep on inventing whatever I wanted there to be next in the universe… I think it was a bit like that, though I don't remember well. By far the strangest delusion I've ever heard of! I'm worried I have a particular psychotic inclination and should keep my hands of specific kinds of mushrooms, although Mexican doesn't appear to be a problem for me. Hence my question. I use mushrooms for increased consciousness, so would like to use only those which don't cause dissociation, delusions, or disorganized behavior. Increased creativity and associative thinking would be nice, but no necessity.
dude sounds like you just tripped hard to me, every trip will be different ad feel different, the trip i had on sunday was entirely different to the one i had on monday, same shrooms.
The thing is, I don't want to run the risk to go through that again. So either I could avoid using the dissociative kinds, or I'd need a tripsitter - problem is, my only two friends who really approve of psilocybe don't live in the same city. Anyway, the problem isn't the risk of having a bad trip -- it's that you don't learn much from the experience if you're detached from everything you experience, ie dissociated. So please, if you've had experiences with multiple kinds of psilocybe, please tell me which were the most consciousness-expanding. From which species did you learn the most, or feel best afterwards?
yep, each mushroom is bringing forth the pattern of reality at that particular moment. Seems like you are weaker than the mushroom. YOu should kill yourself for you are not a legit human and the only thing to cure your disability is to sever your oxygen tube with a knife.
I've tried 6 different strains of cubensis, all were essentially similar, however I have found time and time again the Thailand strains of cubensis to be my personal favorites. I usually eat around 2 grams of Thai's and get great visuals great body vibes; though they do have the ability to do just what happened to you...all psilocybes do, as mentioned earlier trips are different each time.
Okay, thanks for the info guys. I guess I'll just have to learn as I go then. Maybe meditate before I use them, so I remain self-aware. I'd actually had a bad day when I used the psilocybe, but just before I used them I cheered up mechanically. I genuinely felt good then, but I was naive to think it was strong enough to last. It wasn't really that bad, either. I'm not negatively affected afterwards. Fortunately I knew I could use sugar.
