I used to think that I had gaydar and now I really don't think it's a real thing. I mean there are some women that you can just tell are lesbians. But there are women that there's no way to tell. It really sucks b/c, even though I've met women off the internet before, I'm sort of determined not to do it. I've been wanting to just meet a woman like normal but the problem is is determining whether or not she's gay. I don't know....it just really sucks....I really don't understand how lesbians just meet other lesbians. Like it just happens. Are they just lucky or does gaydar exist? If gaydar does exist, then how come I don't have it? Anyone else have this problem? Grrrrrrr.
i think meeting peeps on the net is going to be the next "normal" way to meet people here soon. just out of curiousity, what's your reasoning for not wanting to meet people from the internet anymore? and i'm sure you have gaydar... it's probably just a little off 'cause you're freaking out about it! it's all about feeling vibes from people. the closer you pay attention to what you feel from others, the easier it is to pick up on. good luck!
Well, I've mostly met crazy women off the internet, but I'm still not ruling it out completely. There are some women that are not crazy. I just envy lesbians who meet each other with out it. I use to think I had gaydar b/c of the "vibes" thing but I just don't think that's right at all. I've felt those "vibes" on people who were totally not gay at all.
what makes them totally not gay? maybe you felt it there, and it was there... even straight people sometimes have an occasional attraction to someone of the same sex. if you felt it, generally it's probably not wrong. IMHO anyways! hasn't ever failed me yet... although i really do love the internet as a hook up tool. you can really get to know someone so much easier on the net i think.
ha, yeah they could have been borderline lesbian i guess....i don't know....i just don't feel like i can tell unless it's obvious. i don't know if you've ever watched The L Word before, but one time on there they were helping a character Dana determine if a girl was gay. they brought up stuff like how the girl dresses and how she cares for her fingernails. i thought that was kind of silly b/c you can't really tell from that! oh well.....
yeah, no shit. i hate those stereotypes.. because i totally don't fit any of them! ha! i'm a lesbian living/sleeping with a man, who is alternately girly and completely hates to take care of herself... lol, i paint my fingernails then never take care of it, and wait until it all wears off because i'm too lazy to use remover... and anyways, there are some seriously femme lezbos who are complaining that no one knows they're gay because they don't fit the stereotypes. why don't more people just say to hell with the box?! lol...
Stereotypes suck. Like you Nakedtreehugger, I find myself outside of many of the lesbian stereotypes. Right now I'm practicing transmitting my gay signals to other gaydars out there. A friend of mine just lent me season 1 of the L Word (I've never watched it before). That Gaydar episode was ridiculous...
hey sengai... i keep hearing people talking aobut the L word. is it good? lezbos seem to be going apeshit over it, but i haven't figured out yet if it's just total relief at a show based around lesbians, or if it's actually a good show. i'm getting the feeling that some people might think it rocks even if it sucks, simply because there's NOTHING out there about lesbians, or gay people in general. anyways. hehe... yeah man... just transmit the vibes... and man, i mac on women in general, doesn't matter if they're gay or not. i've had some hot ass encounters with women who thought they were totally straight... even married one of them! that was a long time ago though, and in a different country. the us is wierd as hell about gayness and sexuality in general, lol!
As far television goes, the L Word is okay. I don't really have anything to compare it to though ( I don't watch much television). It seems the writers are aware of things that come up in lesbian communities (like how to tell if a girl is a lesbian or not?). My only complaints are that the main characters are mostly white, in good shape and seemingly well-off, I wanna see some more variety! I definately want to bonk a couple of the girls on the show... Whenever I talk to a woman I think is hot, I'm flirting and laying it on pretty damn thick. It's amazing how some ladies don't pick up on it.
I've spoken to a bunch of straight people who love the show for its dramatic content. I'm not relying on my opinion, because I've wondered about whether I like it for the lesbians or because it's compelling drama, but apparently it's actually quality television (as oxymoronic as that sounds...). Also, Moon Beam: is that "Free hugs" as in "I'm giving them away" or as in "Free Tibet"? Because if it's the former, I'll have one and give you a free hug back .
Yeah i think The L Word more variety, too. And I think they should make it harder for them to find other lesbians b/c that is how it is in real life! Nakedtreehugger, I asked you about that b/c I've thought that I was in a similar situation. I have a great friend that is a man, but that is all he is to me. I'm so not sexually attracted to him so....that's why I asked you that. Anyway, there's still my gaydar problem. I went to the library the other day and a pretty girl was at the reference counter. So when I spoke with her I smiled and looked her right in the eye and put out the....er...vibes I guess. She simply mirrored my smile and eye contact, but I really didn't get anything else. Based soley on her appearance I would guess she's a lesbian, but that's so inaccurate. So....I don't know....gaydar still not working I guess
ahhh, i see what you're sayin. no need to worry... i'm open to conversing about all kinds of topics, and i'm not easily offended! so... maybe she's a lesbo and she didn't get that you are one? i dunno... i tend to be pretty forward when it comes to hitting on people and i've been known to just walk up to a hot chick and say "damn you're sexy. wanna fuck?" lol... i don't do that every day, but yeah... depending on the situation! the thing is, sometimes you do have to lay it on pretty thick for other women to figure out that you're actually hitting on them not asking to go do girly friend things with them. SIGH. i just need to get a shirt that says "i'm a polyamorous lesbian with a manlover, and i'm looking for a few new girlfriends." lol... put it all out there on the table so to speak. i'll have to check out the l-word. i keep hearing about it, but i haven't checked it out at the video store yet.
I've just been talking to a friend who's also gay, and she and I agree that gaydar is a wee bit of a fallacy. I mean, my best friend turned out to be gay, and I had no idea until he told me two years after we met. Go figure.
See I'm not sure what I think about this. On the one hand, I hate not being able to tell---and don't feel bad about using the internet! It made it a hell of a lot easier for me to find my girlfriend. I'm drawn to "femmes" which makes it harder and I'm also a "femme." There's the attendant assumptive heteronormativity there that sucks. I just embraced my sexual identity in the last two months. My friend of 15 years was not at all suprised. Apparently, her neighbors even thought I was gay. Perhaps it's coincidences like this that create the gaydar myth.
