way back in high school

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by halfpint04, May 11, 2008.

  1. halfpint04

    halfpint04 Member

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    Since lately everyone is reverting back to being in high school
    Acting like high schoolers
    With the maturity level of a middle schooler
    So will I

    And if I was in high school again
    I would slip a note in your locker
    That reads
    Do you like me?
    Check Yes or No
    And return to this location

    I would hold sleepovers
    Sit up all night and giggle
    And talk about boys and have pillow fights
    Because according to high school boys
    That what all high school girls do on sleepover nights

    Since we are back in high school again
    We wouldn’t have to talk about our problems
    We would just start a rumor war
    Oh wait that’s what you are doing right now
    And since I’m back in high school again
    I do what I always do and ignore it and move on

    Cause in high school I was the girl everyone knew
    I was never in the popular crowd
    I never cared to be
    I was the one that everyone knew cause I was everywhere
    I was on the forensics teams
    On the stage and behind it
    I was a varsity and jv soccer player
    I was a dancer
    I was in all the honor societies
    And tons of other clubs
    I was constantly getting out of trouble

    People love to hate the one in spot lights
    So I was good at just ignoring what you said
    But if we were in high school again
    You would have a reason for acting so childish
    And not speaking to me
    And making people take sides
    And leaving little notes

    I would be able to see through how fake you are
    I would be able not to care about all of this
    But this is the real world now
    So try growing up

    If we were back in high school again
    I would be waiting around for your calls
    Because that’s what silly little girls in love do right

    But we’re not in high school anymore
    so I don’t sit around wait
    Instead I go out and drink
    And drunkenly constantly talk about you to my friends

    If we were in high school again I would remember
    What it was like to not know what your future had in store
    How you spent hours researching colleges
    No idea what your major was
    But this is not high school anymore
    And shit. . I still have no idea what my future has in store

    If we were in high school again
    If we were in high school again
    If we were in high school again
    If. . .
    But shit son we aren’t in high school anymore
    This is the real world
     
  2. Vetty214

    Vetty214 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    Hi Halfpint! This poem has good rhythm and I like the idea behind it... something you might try is starting with the "if I was in high school..." and keep it playful and light at the beginning and then allow it to gradually deepen to the point, the anger closer to the end... Billy Collins, a poet laureate of some notoriety, indicates that a "gradual deepening" is one of those signs of a good poem and I think it would work well on this poem. Just an idea, something you could try and see if it works for you... I really like your work, keep writing...
     
  3. halfpint04

    halfpint04 Member

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    thanks for the suggestions. I probably need to edit some of the poems before I post them. I just sorta start writing and just let it come out how it comes out. but thanks. I will try to rework this one and then post a revised version later.
     
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