Vent: he is quitting his job

My husband has been in the same job for ten years. He started as a fast food worker and has worked his way up in the company to assistant manager making $16+ an hour plus benefits. He really hates his job. He never planned for this career, it just happened by default when we found ourselves pregnant and couldn't afford college anymore.

He always says he wants to quit and I always tell him that's fine as long as he finds another job first with equal or better pay. So finally last week he says he really wants to be a trucker, mainly because it is the only job he can think of that makes decent money without a lot of training. I went over it with him, reminding him that he would be gone for weeks at a time the first year or two. He insisted he still wanted to do it and got info on jobs and training schools. He was really serious so I gave him the go ahead to put in his two weeks notice at work.

That was one week ago. Since then he has not even bothered to put in the application for training school. He sits around looking at the newspaper and craigslist for jobs in case there is something better. He says he isn't sure he wants to be a trucker because he would be gone a lot. Maybe he could be a construction worker instead. Or a plumber. Or a carpenter. Or an Alaskan fisherman! He hasn't applied for any jobs or called anyone.

So in one week we will have no income, 4 kids, and a mortgage. I am so freaking out! We have enough money to last us 6 weeks. This is his day off. He spent an hour reading the classifieds and then went to take a nap. I had thought he would go job hunting today. Apparently he doesn't want to job hunt right away and wants to take a week or two after his job ends to relax at home before looking for work.

He has one of those difficult stubborn personalities. The more I push about something the more he refuses to do it. So either I can nag him to death about looking for a job and he will dig in his heels and not do it. Or I can ignore the issue and hope he eventually kicks himself into gear and gets it done. I am very type A and this is driving me insane.

 

hmmm...i've seen guys do this type of thing when they are really on the way out. he quits his job, doesn't bring home any income, pisses you off, you fight, he accuses you of caring nothing for him only using him for money, he hits the door and you're on your own. might wanna start readin' those ads yourself.

 

I suggest that he go to one of those skill evaluation centers like "workforce" . I went to one years ago to re-evaluate my skills to try to figure out where my talents angled towards. I also suggest to look into workers' unions. My Husband joined the UBC & M union and it elevated our operations of living.

We lived in a dead end small town, with a huge commute to any job, with no security and no guarantee that the employer would actually pay out at the end of a job. Now we live in Hawaii ( tho the cost of living is high, so is the rate of pay, the unemployment and benefits are high too) My husband never has to "be interviewed" companies hire him for his " book of skills", we have healthcare, annuity and vacation pay... it's worth it. It takes some commitment, and sometimes my Hubby has to work away from home ( he's on Maui, while I'm on the Big Island) but it's worth it. I always try to show people that worker unions are the way to go, especially these days....

Also, it's a very big exception these days with how the "straight world" has everything wired up, to be a one income household.

Real communication, and also empathy and patience with the transition that the BOTH of you are going through ( and the kids).

For sure your DH is putting out the signals that he needs a change. Try to be proactive and encouraging. Set him up so he can't fail and I too also support you to pick up some outside income.

Bon Chance!

 

Well with rising gas prices he'd better be making a LOT of money.

I saw on the news yesterday that it costs some truckers 3000 a month just for gas. Well for independent truckers.

And thats if their only doing jobs close to them, I couldnt imagine the price of gas for cross country drivers.

 

Wow, this is interesting. I am in a similar situation minus the kids. I had to quit my job though because it was causing severe depression and anxiety to the point where it made me want to kill myself. I have changed my mind about what I want to be when I grow up so many times that I couldn't even count them for you. I've changed my major in college 4 times officially and I still don't like the one I have now, but I'm just going to finish it. For some people it is just more difficult to figure out what our life calling is.

I'm not being lazy about it though, I have applied to about 25 places in the 4 weeks I have been off. And I recently signed up with two temp agencies so they can find me something to bring in the money even if it isn't my dream career.

I don't really have any advice except to express your concerns to him. But please be careful because he might already be feeing down about the decision he made. Show that you support him and love him, but the reality is that he needs to be more proactive in his job search. And if he really doesn't know what he wants to do, then suggest the temp route, it is a good way to gain experience and insight on a variety of different jobs. 6 weeks worth of money is not a lot. You will go through it very quickly and with the economy the way it is, it might be harder for someone with no degree to find work. Let him know these things and let him know that you really want him to try harder. If that doesn't work, threaten to leave him. I'm not kidding.

 

That is so messed up. That is the equvilent to you just feeling like you don't want to take care of your kids anymore. Essentialy he is choosing not to care for or provide for his kids.
Tell him to ask for his job back and if this is not possible enroll in trucking school by the end of the week. If he doesn't do this leave. You are goign to be without an income if you stay with him, so why not leave him and at least know he will be paying backed child support when he does get a job.