Dumb stoner moments.

I had some friends over once, and my mom called. she asked me if I was having a party and was kidding but I freaked out a little. while i was on the phone, one of my friends asked me for a drink so I sent them out to the garage to get one. Then my mom said as long as your not doing anything bad, have a good night. I hung up the phone, and all of a sudden I hear the door that connects our laundry room to our garage open. I fuckin panicked thinkin it was mom, ran over to the laundry room door and locked it. my friend reminded me it was her and I let her in.

I was so stoned...

 

Going through a McDonalds drive through.......in the nude. LOL

 

I was with my brother and a friend who had just come back from africa with some super dank shit. Anyways, we cruised over to the local mall and walk into a McDonalds, and my brother freaks out, saying "Dude you gotta order for me" after like 5 min we had him on the floor begging on his knees. It was halarious. everybody was looking at him like WTF.

 

Heres one for you. Had a homemade waterbottle bong at the park chillin with some mates. Goes around like 12 times so it has some use in it. It was set down right next to the fresh water we wee using for the pasties. I fucked up.

Thats right, I drank the bong.

 

I was going to type something else, but as I was just typing it I realized i was supporting this big jug of water leaning over my keyboard with my boney wrist that i'm using to type, and i was thinking to myself man this is pretty stupid, if i spill this there goes my keyboard but did jack shit to remedy the situation.........

then thought to myself that was far funnier then what i was typing

 

today after we smoked a blunt my friend asked to borrow my phone cause we were trying to meet up with this other kid and she was calling him.

so i hand her my phone and she walks like half a block down to call him cause the alley we were at didn't have reception.... and im just sititng there for like 2 minutes and then i'm like WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PHONE. so i look through my jacket, search my backpack, started flippin out (i just bought a $200 phone like a month ago)

and i look over to her and she's like ?wtf is wrong? but she was still talking on the phone so i didn't wanna disturb her so just sat there like wanting to die cuz i thought lost my phone and then she finally hung up and i was like "dude i lost my phone we have to go back"

and then i finally realized she was talking on it the whole time.

 

ok my favourite stoner trait is going sumwhere 2 get sumthing n wen arriving at said destination forgetting wot i came 4 bit of an oldschool story from a few years back we were smoking tooters diy bong made from a car aerial n bottle anyway it had been around about 8 of us 2 or three times wen the pipe becomes blocked one of my good friends grabs it n goes 2 blow down the pipe as its only a car aerial the pipe is red hot n makes a disgusting hissing sound as he blows down it n leaves him with a nasty blister u could say i thought twice bout clearing the blockages in future

 

we were smoking at a friends house and my boy picked up a green ass bug and said "yo lets hit this shit". he then proceeded to put it into the bong and light it, and inhaled i dont know what the fuck cause i was laughing so hard the whole time

 

hahah.. I remember one time i ordered a stromboli but never asked what i wanted in it, so i was freaking out the whole time wondering what they were putting in it (could have been anything as far as i was concerned.. fecal matter and peperoni's idk..).. but my friend said "i paid them $5 to put my hair in your stromboli" (he had a bag of his hair earlier that day.. long story).. but it made me flip out and i started believing it and getting extremely pissed.. etc.

 

One time I was driving down the highway stoned, and I suddenly realized that my keys weren't in my pocket. So I start frantically searching all my pockets and shit, and looking all over my car. It's all good though, I found them in the ignition...

 

yesterday me and my friend went to skate at the skatepark and about an hour into skating, i looked at my friend and asked if anyone had come with us. i was just so stoned that i forgot it was just me and him, and i had been wondering for about 20 minutes why one of my other friends wasnt there.

 

I remember when I first starting smoking it, I would get really paranoid.

My friend opened my living room window to let the smoke out and I was really concerned that the people walking past would get stoned from the fumes.

 

I would say getting up and looking all over for my pipe, just to realize it was in my hand the entire time.

 

my most retarded moment ever was with my friend chris. we had a going away party when i had to go to florida for 4 months and we smoked an ounce ... but we left 3 homemade bowls 1 breadbag ( aka gravity bong) and 1 blunt roach ( we got the roach back but nothing else)

 

Smoking over myself while lying down and dropping hot ash (from the joint) onto my cleavage.
Not fun!

 

Aww.. dude.. Ive dropped hot ash on my boobs too.. hurts like a mofo. Especially if youre still wearing a bra and the ash gets between your bra and the bottom of your cleavage. Ive dropped ash in my eye and up my nose. I put shit in my bra and forget where I put it. My gay boy named it First Titty National.. hahaha
Let's see, Ive forgotten to turn the oven on, and pulled the stove out of its space to make sure it was plugged in right before realizing I never turned it on.
Countless walking in circles when I keep forgetting why im in the room. I forgot I left my dog in my room and proceeded to freak out and stalk up and down the street shouting for her. haha

 

heres 2 semi-embarassing stoner
a cpl weeks ago were comin home from a smoke session at a friends house both way blazed off sum dank blueberry.. and were drivin back and i see a racoon in the road and i point and say coon.. my buddy who was drivin didnt see it and thought i had just called him a coon.. he gets all pissed and is like fuck u im not a coon ur a coon u son of a bitch and i looked at him and just couldnt stop laughin for like 20 min

this happes pretty often.. go get a bag hang out with the person im buyin from for awhile.. smoke down and then leave stoned with my bag and forget to pay lol.. but im not an asshole i always remember later and give him the money when i see him

 

today pulling out a 10 sack when trying to pay for my slurpee at 7-11

 

Girl you need to be more careful! did the cashier see?

 

the other day i smoked a bowl inside and blew it out the window, then i shut the window.
i decided to smoke another bowl and blow it out the window, which i did.
when i got up to put my bubbler away i saw the window had been closed the whole time, and i'd just been blowing smoke at the glass. oops.