Going through hard times kind advice needed...PLEASE!

Hello friends, Id introduce myself but you know how it is, and Im that good at it anyways. Im writing this because I've had social anxiety for about 13 years now and am about to turn 29. Id always been shy, but when I was 16 I had a bad acid trip and a few crappy ones after that basically made me very AWARE of that part of me. Lately I've started to wonder if I will ever overcome it. Through the years Some parts of my anxiety have gotten better, but some of them are getting much worse these last few. I feel that I am a beautiful person inside and out,I care deeply for people and genuinely want to help and connect with them, but have a VERY hard time doing so.

Just recently got a good job where I work with A LOT more people than I ever have before. Since Ive started my panic attacks have gotten worse and they have happen in front of multiple people including my supervisors AND their supervisors!

Ive only taken small amounts of xannax a few times, but I ended up having to take 1 to 1.5mg of of them and I would still be freaking out all day long for the most part. I ended up getting a few klonopins and have taken .5mg about 20 minutes before work along with .5mg of xanax. Usually when I get to work I feel a little relaxed going in, but if i have to do anything I havent done before and especially if I have to talk to somebody, once again Im totally panicy. Usually once I get to my desk and on the phone I will start to relax a little more. Unfortionately it doesnt last for long and I will usually have to take .5mg of xannax more, sometimes twice.

I have remained at 1mg of zannax for the about 3 weeks and I have just started taking klonopins this last week. I feel now that I am on the Kpins I have been able to have 2 conversations with people without FREAKING out, I really cant remember talking to anyone like that before without feeling very uncomfortable. Still if certian people that I think 'know' or new people try to talk to me I freak.

Two years ago I took paxil and effexor for about 6 months eatch and though they helped with a few things, I felt they made a lot of things harder and did not really help enough with my anxiety to go further with them. I was also diagnosed with ADD when I was in 1st grade if that means anything and took a very low dose of it for about a year and felt it made me a zombie. And also had a bad acid experience that really made me AWARE of it.

Im really concerned because I really dont want to be on medication for the rest of my life. I have been fight this for a long time with very little meds and no results to speak of.

If anyone has any advice about what might help me or advice about medications besides ssri's and maoi's (Im a little scared of them) please let me know.

I feel like Im taking TOO much as it is and I can still barely handle all of the pressure!

Thanks for reading