I can not seem to get over this.... I have been married for a few years. My wife and I went out years ago and she was a virgin. We started having sex but then she told me she wanted to stop and wait until getting married before she had sex again. I was hurt but went along with it we fought about it now and then because she meant no sex even oral. We were best friends before we went out right after we broke up she started dating a player kind of guy and ended up having sex with him because he told her he felt hurt that she slept with me but would not have sex with him. After she had sex with him she said she did not want it to be like a one night stand sex thing so she kept having sex with him for about a year on and off till they broke up I was abit hurt that she changed so quickly but I let it go. After that she dated a few guys never had sex with them most lasted a few months. We stayed best friends then a few years after we broke up we started date again. She said she wanted to wait to have sex for awhile I was okay with it, Then we got engaged and she told me she wanted to wait till we got married. I was deeply hurt because I told her It reminded me of the first time we went out and that she did have sex with this guy after we broke up she insisted The problem got real bad when she wanted to wait almost a year to get married she wanted a spring wedding. We fought about sex the whole time I felt like she reward this player guy who just wanted sex from her and was punsishing the guy who was marrying her. It was like she was okay having sex with a guy she just dated and not the gu she was marrying. Bottem line she made me wait and it bothers me that she didnt care about my feelings and that this guy was the last guy she slept with before she got married not her husband. How can I get past this.. I am sooo made at myself for not standing up for myself. She seemd to think from what she told me that once we were married and having sex I forget about it.
Not really, she made sex the issue by not wanting to have it when we were engaged. I am more hurt by her not wanting sex because of what it means. It is more her mindset... I mean we had sex the first time we dated than she wants to stop and wait until she gets married. Then right after we break up she has sex with another guy. When we get back together a few years later she wants to go back to waiting till she gets married even when we are engaged even though she knows it hurts me
jdsjett, I'm sorry to hear about your problem. Honestly if I were in your place I wouldn't know what to do. I think Allonym's advice is good - you both definitely need counseling. Unless you decide to call it quits.
She says now maybe it was a mistake but at the time she was not willing to change her mind no matter what. I have never understood why she wanted wait knowing how much it hurt me. I think the reason is it reminds me of the first time we went out and I agreed to it only to have her have sex with the first guy she dated after me
I used to a have a rule in my relationships, woman who I slept with right away I would never have relationships with, those who made me wait, those who i waited fir...they meant something to me. I wouldnt let it bug you it may not make sence toi ya becasue your taking it the wrong way...she loves ya thats why the sex matters...if she was a virgin she probally had a bunch of meanings and shit behind it....then she thought she would explore her options and her sexuality when she was pressured by the dude....obviously your the guy she cares about...... elope then fuck the shit out of her.....
