cutting, im curious

well people i know have had cutting problems, and i want to know what the deal is, why would inflicting pain on yuorself help, is it because the pain triggers a endorphin rush or what? i really wanna know. or is it a psychological thing like your letting out your problems by cutting?

im not judging i just want to know the truth. from people that have/are going through it and people that know abou tit.

 

I used to cut horribly for a long long time.. it was a numbing experience for me.. was easy to deal with the physical pain rather than the mental.. also it was a relief for me.. it sounds weird but anyone who has cut before can relate I'm sure.. it felt like I could breathe finally.. I would be so worked up or upset and when I cut it felt like a release.. I haven't done it in about a year.. started when I was 12-13.. I'm now 23.. it was addicting.. seriously addicting.. it's hard to go from cutting to find other releases for your pain.. hard to stop.. but I've realized now that mutilating myself has no control over me anymore.. you think you have all the control.. it seriously has a control on you when it's really bad..

 

so could you compare it to drug addiction?

a friend that does it said its like you cut and the physicla pain from the cut is there but its like a big rush and you could be crying and in pain but be so happy at the same time. is that it?

 

I find it is because I am angry or I don't like myself very much. I know that self harm can evoke a strange almost satisfying sensation. As the flesh is torn, the tingly feeling as air hits flesh. It sounds gruesome, but for me self harm is like an outlet. I know that elastic bands usually stop me doing this to myself though.

 

I use to cut a ton when I was younger, and its still something that I struggle with. for the past 2 years I've only slipped a about 5 or 6 times. Not too bad. Theres several reasons for cutting. It distracts from the pain you currently feel. It can kind of mimic a high sometimes. Or it can be for punishment. Thats what it was for me. Hell, I didn't want to some of the time. But it was a compulision almost. I felt a deserved it. So I had to. And the more I hurt my body, the less I thought about not being able to feel inside. Its gives a physical pain to distract from the mental numbness or anguish. It makes the intangible tangible. I realise that this isn't the most logical form of dealing, but there certainly is some reason behind it. I know rationally I shouldn't and I can tell you all the reasons why not to. But the feeling overwhelms the rational. In my minds eye it was equivical to a child getting a spanking. I made a mistake, I should deal with the consequince. Everyone has a different reason. Just don't make the mistake of regarding it as unlogical. Theres a reason behind it. It doesnt make it right... but the more I've talked about it, the more I've read on the subject... the more I've realized there was a great deal of thought behind it. Not right, but none the less there. Anyways... I think I've rattled on for quite a bit... Sorry. And this certainly doesnt apply to everyone, but I know its true for me.

 

The elastic band trick works for a while. But it seems inevitable that I will self harm again. After a while it becomes an addiction. The consequences for me is that I will never bathe in a public swimming pool, never wear Che Guavre t shirts or t shirts with THe Clash, HImn and Slipknot. I now have to wear longsleeved shirts. It is a smart/casual approach, but best for people aged forty or over.

When I last self harmed I took a razer blade and slit my arm. It tingled quite pleasurably for some reason. Even though there was some blood, most of it was a clear liquid that seemed to soothingly burn my flesh as it trickled down the length of the chasm. I wish I could conceal my scars without wearing bloody Ben shermans and Saville Rows. I look older than I am

 

As far as mental psychological things go: I would say endorphin rush mixed with a bit of hematophilia/standard rebelling.

I tried it once out of curiosity (don't, those scars take awhile to go away if you aren't a pussy that just barely scratches yourself - I still have them from years ago, and usually my scars heal quick =( ). It had a certain appeal to it. It felt good to have all the pain focussed in one area.

So mostly, I'd say the cause is not being able to find a better distraction from life.

 

Done it some times when i was still young, i then did it so that i could stand more bravely in the world, back then i also fought alot with people, i got bullied and stuff, and by cutting i could get some of my strenght to overcome my fears.
Alot of people think that it is weak if you cut, that you are weak minded and shit.. but i mean.. alot of tribes in the past had rituals where they inflicted pain on theirself before they went to war..
There is one danger i think, and that is that it is very effective, after a while i also started to use it because i had alot of depressions and i just wanted my mind to be focused somewhere else.. and well.. pain did a great job .
And now that i have grown older i found alternative methods, maybe less effective, but atleast i don't have to supress everything with pain, or need pain to overcome things, i learned that good rational thinking, and making alot of time to be alone does in long terms alot more good then the short pain wich is only temporarly .

 

I used to cut myself a lot when I was younger, from ages 12-16 roughly. Why? In short, because I hated myself and blamed no one but myself for all my problems, and causing physical harm to myself was a way to make things right again. (And when I was a little kid, I used to punch myself in the face because of the same reasons. As ridiculous as it sounds.) That, and I liked pain. I liked the tingling feeling the cuts would have for a few days, and I liked how I could give myself temporary tattoos. In fact, I still have a small heart shaped scar on my ankle from that time in my life. It's never going to go completely away.
And I'd definitely say it's addicting. Sometimes even nowadays when Things build up, I have the urge to cut. Then I do, and it's not the same anymore, so I stop.

 

I used to cut. I never did get that bad, but when is self harming ever good?
For me, it was for several varying reasons. 1. To deal with stress (something I am still struggling with). 2. To lessen or distract from the emotional pain. 3. To feel like I had control of something in my life. 4. Sometimes to punish myself. 5. And some of the times it was attention seeking.
Most of the time I was self harming, I spent trying to stop. I think about it still somedays. I've been able to not harm any worse then snapping a rubber band for a while.

 

when ever i cut which i dont anymore yaeay i did it to feel real

like i would feel so numb that i kinda would do it to see if i bled if i could actually feel things you know

i dono but thats lame there are so many better ways of self expression!!

 

For the record I never cut I always burned, but its the same deal either way just different forms.

To answer your question its a release. Like a release of psychological pain by superceding it with physical pain. You can never understand it unless you've been there yourself- feeling the need, doing it, and feeling the release, so there's really not much more I can say on it.

 

most ppl do it to feel alive, when they feel like theyre pretty empty inside. its like proving to yourself that you can still feel.

then theres the cutting to take away the hurt from the inside by making it hurt on the outside. usually stress related, anxiety, etc

 

Aren't the two really one and the same? To me they always were.

 

sort of the same, but different.

cutting to feel alive
cutting to cover pain inside when your upset about something

 

I think for me it was to get control of something and to feel something. When everything was chaos around me and I couldn't control any of it, cutting was one thing I was able to have absolute control over. Hope that makes sense. eace:

 

yeah, its the same as refusing to eat. when you feel like theres nothing you can control, and everything is chaotic, you can control eating, or cutting, etc. its a way to show yourself that your in control of something.

 

Well said, G.L. Without control, everything is chaos. Chaos can be traumatizing.

 

i cut twice. i never drew blood though. i just released some stress by scraping the knife on my skin. i dont know why but it seemed to helped a bit. im not condoning it though. its definitely not something you should get into the habit of doing.

 

I just got back from the hospital. I was feeling like I was going to cut, but now I'm proud of myself because I forced myself to go to the hospital and tell them that I needed help becaue I thought I was going to kill myself.
Anyway, as for why I cut, it's very simple: I cut myself because I hate myself and thus I want to inflict pain on myself. And I hate my body and how disgusting I look so I might as well give it enough scars that I can truely be seen as the freakish monster I am. If people could tell how dispicable I really am, then they wouldn't keep trying to talk to me or help me or be my freind, so they wouldn't get worried about someone as worthless as me.

I guess next time I won't bother to go to the hospital. I deserve the razor, and the pain, and the blood. I'm nothing. Maybe next time will be the final solution. I hate myself.