I am a Carbon copy Of a legend Gone mad The lingering ledger Of a dream Never had Suppose I know Who you are And where you go It’s no one’s guess Just go with The flow The trip I’m with Is ancient This trip so Fair and bold I’m the one who bought When the world Was sold
So basically, you're the most important person living today. Who would have thought the most important person living today would be so f#$%ing pretentious???
^^ A little harsh, I think. I liked it. I think he was saying he has something worth being thankful for, that his life has been good. He's appreciating the journey. Am I right about that? That's how I see it, anyway.
Structure-wise this is awesome! I like the way the words trip on my mind. Contentwise; sounds just like my megalomanic-depressive old man. Good work. Write on!
some people apparently don't understand that poetry isn't necessarily something you take literally. if I were you heywood, I'd work on seeing the poem for its own merits, as something separate from its author. to the OP: I enjoyed the poem, but I'd think about backing up your IDEAS "I was the one/ who bought /when the world/ was sold" with some concrete images. Right now I feel like I am seeing something YOU experience from the outside, and cannot get close to it. Maybe adding some more images would draw the reader in and force them to say, "damn, I couldn't help but BE there, be a part of this poem" also, if you want to be pretentious, be pretentious! that is your god-given right! -V
Yes, you're right, I don't understand. I mean, the whole idea of not taking things literally is completely beyond me, because it's such a big and difficult idea that only smart people like you can grasp. That goes for sarcasm too (hopefully). Unfortunately, this 'poem' is still a piece of shit. It makes no sense, says nothing, and at the same time makes the writer seem like an ass... or possibly exposes the truth of his being an ass (a profound truth indeed). Now I actually regret attacking it at first because it seems to have made people defensive over it and clouded their ability to see how shite it is out of some kind of empathy-driven charity. You say 'see the poem as separate from the author' when the content of the poem (I really hate calling it that) makes it impossible. I mean, maybe it's referencing some really obscure historical figure or something, but chances are it's just about some stupid burnout who thinks he's important because he did acid and saw god just like millions of other people who take acid and see god, which is fine, but he seems to think it's exclusive to him. 'I'm the one who bought when the world was sold'? It's like something a crackhead would say! And I don't even mean a crackhead who has been around and loved and lost and had interesting experiences which forced him to take up the pipe in a misguided attempt to undo his emotional pain, I mean a crackhead who became a crackhead because he couldn't do anything BUT become a crackhead! Then you have some outrageous proclamations about being a 'copy of a legend' or being on a 'trip so bold' with absolutely ZERO substance behind it, which results in nothing but self-aggrandizing crap that an overalls-wearing rap star with cool graffitti shaved into the back of his head circa 1992 would probably laugh at. So yes, it's your god-given right to be pretentious, but don't expect people to refrain from calling you a dick.
