Writing about sex - is it frickin' impossible?:

Well? Can anyone actually write well about sexiful intercourse?

 

i'm not going to claim i can! i wrote a few "fuck books" during my college years to get money. you don't need any talent to write smut. oh, i wrote some "real winners" like: "hot sucking sitter," "pussy licking," "between big sister's creamy thighs," and so forth. it only took 1 to 2 weeks to produce a book, and the pay is better than working at a convence store or supermarket, and much, much safer too!

 

For ages ago, i did once write a sex scene between a womans and the Green Man. It was... humiliative.

 

I thought about putting a sexually explicit piece or two here on Hip Forums. Trouble is, I don't like getting trashed by readers, I'm very sensitive about that. And I have a feeling that I would get trashed very roughly if I wrote as explicitly as I might like. In my piece "Anacapa", I put in some suggestive scenes, but basically closed the door to the bedroom. That story was in fact reviewed well at the time.

In "Electric Dreams" I put in a short explicit section called "Dead man's hand hits switch", which was obviously fantasy, and no one complained too much.

The best erotic writing I've come across can be found in the book "Sexus", by Henry Miller.

 

Ever read Tom Robbins?

 

See, I don't know that it really has to be explicit, but as you say, there's always the temptation to "close the door", to pull away and assume everyone knows what's going on.

 

why dont you just spunk over someones face and write it down how it happened video it or anything. If necessary pick up a prostitute - male or female and video it then describe what you see that's what I do and I make money writing for sex magazines about my wank fantasiies

 

You just have to use the phrase "bulbous rod of man-meat" a whole lot.

 

I'm kinda surprised if these still exist since the Internet.

 

See, I'm really not looking to write "erotic fiction". I'm not even looking particularly to arouse. I just don't really know how to describe sex in regular fiction without getting repetitive or silly.

 

a

 

i can wirte it ok, here's a bit.....:



The building next door was blasting the song Paralyzer so loud, I could hear it perfectly, Although, it was on repeat. I stood by the dumpster waiting for Acer to shut the door. He heard the song playing and walked my ways singing softly:

“If you’re body matches what you’re eyes can do....”

He ended the phrase by grabbing me and leaning me over his arm. My leg kicked up and my heart beating fast. He leaned over and kissed me intensely. My body was shot with violent waves of warmth. I started to giggle and shake a bit. Acer knew when I did this that it only meant good for us. He smiled and started kissing my collarbone, making his way to the side of my neck, gently nibbling it. My heart beat faster and I couldn’t stand it anymore.

I grabbed him in a lustful kiss and shoved him against the brick wall. My mind was rasing as to what I should do next. I got off him and pulled him with me as I ran to the end of the ally. The alley made a turn that went in about 10 feet and then left to a dead end of another brick wall. I could still hear Paralyzer blasting and this only got me more in the mood.

He grabbed me and shoved me hard against the wall. I felt so alive. I kissed him intensely and he spun me off the wall and onto the ground. I started kissing him even more and he moved me closer to the ground and then off it and repeating as dozen times. We breathed heavy and I started to pull of his jacket as he did the same to me. I rolled him over while still clinging to him and I was on top of him now.
I pulled off my shirt and pulled off his too. We continued to roll around and yank off clothes until I was down to my thong and necklaces and he was down to his boxers. He kissed his way down my stomach and pulled my thong off with his teeth. I took my finger and whispered:

“Incendia.”

My fingertip turned red and heated up. I slid it down the side of his boxers and they slipped off him. I giggled and he rolled on top of me and kissed me insanely intensely and I shook all over. My heart was beating so fast, I could feel it beat in my toes. He laid over me and entered. Thrusting as hard as he could without hurting me. I was out of breathe he was so amazing. He leaned me up and continued. I was on the verge of screaming my heart out when he started bitting my neck more. I moaned and dug my nails into his back. He loved it when I did this. It made him thrust harder.

That was it. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I reached the big O and it was amazing. I nearly screamed with every thrust. I cried out “I love you ” and “Oh god ” a dozen times. After 40 minutes of non stop mind blowing sex, we stopped because we were insanely tired. I could hardly breathe. I cuddled up to Acer and sighed:

“I haven’t been fucked like that sense grade school.”
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing, I just always wanted to say that, because Marla said it in Fight Club.”
“I see.”

He grabbed me in another kiss and half way into it I said:

“Shit We were supposed to be a the store ”
“Oh fuck ”

We grabbed our clothes and threw them on. Acer and I sprinted down the ally and onto the street.

 

I quite like some of that, actually. The long sentences work very well, I think. I recently discovered that, as well as being generally awesome, James Joyce wrote sex really well. It's a lot harder to write it in the third person though.

 

Please be sure you have received all the parts and read the instructions before beginning assembly.

1) Ensure privacy.
2) Partner 1 should begin by reviewing Diagram I. Unbutton B1, B2, B3, B4 and B5 on item A1 worn by Partner 2. Remove A1.
3) Unclip clasp C1 to remove item A2 from Partner 2.
4). Unclip clasp C2 from item A3 on Partner 2. Unzip C3 on item A3. Pull down and remove item A3 and store in a secure location. Caution: Do not get hair tangled in zipper C3.
5) Refer to diagram 2. Remove item A4 completely. Do not leave it around her ankles.
6) Partner 1 must remove items A11, A12, A13, A14 and (optionally) A1, A2, A3, A4, A5 and A7 if they are in place.

*** Delete step 7 from procedure after pre-implementation testing complete.
7) Remove the wrapper from item G1 and carefully unroll down penis of partner 1. Ensure that item G1 is not inside-out.

8) Insert C into D. (See diagram 3.) Remove, then insert again. Continue until item S flows into D. Remove C from D.
9) Replace items A1 through A14 on partners 1 and 2. Assembly is now complete.
10) Wait approximately 274 days for delivery.

 

The best writing about sex is in a story NOT revolving around sex.

Well, to be more specific, when there is a plot existing OUTSIDE of Mindy sucking off the football team.

I think it is the same way with movies as well.

 

Sherrilyn Kenyon writes great sex scenes, so does Charlainne Harris. They inspire and depress me at the same time.

 

Dirtydogs post made me laugh so hard.

 

If you want to write sex in a serious book, just describe how you would go about it.

 

Me and an ex-girlfriend wrote a porn script a few years back out of boredom. I thought it was pretty well written, despite it being written by a horny, virginal teenager (being me, lol) of course. I mean, it was immensely greater in quality than any other kind of sex writings I've happened to of read.