For the past few days I haven't been able to finish. This hasn't happened me before. I get kind of close and then nothing happens or I just get really bored. I've been using a dildo and I do fantasize and what not, but just haven't been able to orgasm. I'm perfectly fine during sex, but on my own I've just been getting really bored. I've tried everything imaginable to get off on my own and still I'm having trouble. Is this normal? Thanks in advance.
I agree with sarahrei, You have to make it exciting somehow instead of a chore. Or otherwise the boredom will just destroy it for you.
But that's what I'm having trouble with. How can I make it exciting again? I've tried so many different things and still nothing. Do you have any suggestions? Techniques that work for you, I mean I know it's different for everyone, but still, anything will help me right now.
I don't really know. I'm a guy so it's going to be different,but I basically go through the same thing. It takes me forever and it's not that much fun anymore.Most times I'm happy if I cum at all lol,but I usually do eventually. I know if I'm feeling down that makes it worse. For me if I have an attitude of adventure and possibilty that will do it. I mean what made it so exciting to begin with was all the fantasizing where anything seemed possible. When I'm able to hold on to that sense of possibility and adventure I have a better time at it.That's what works best for me. I'm not always the happiest person so it's tough. I guess still not being afraid to dream big dreams where the possibilties are endless. Have an adventorous spirit even if you feel bored,you really gotta get into your own head. Good Luck,.. J
i have had this happen to.. what i did was bought a new toy.. instead of just a regular dildo i got a vibrating rabbit.. the shaft turns and it vibrates your clit at the same time.. it is the next best thing to sex.. they are not very expensive and you can buy it online at adameve.com .. i wish you the best of luck
Are you on any new medications??? That can affect your ability to have an orgasm..Women are hormonal. Sometimes we want it but just don't can't get there..Stop trying for a few days. Watch some porn. Get some new toys . Read some erotica. That should get you back in the mood..
Good point Zakarrah. Meds can mess up one's libido big time. Another thing, take a break from masturbating. You don't "have" to do it. Take the pressure off yourself to "perform." Perhaps you need your bf to call you and talk dirty to you while you're touching yourself, or you could watch some porn. Try writing some of your own stories of erotic encounters, either fantasies or actual experiences. You'll experience the emotions new or anew. I hope this doesn't sound weird, but make a "date" with yourself. Perhaps you can do this after a little hiatus from masturbation. Get a bottle of wine or something you really enjoy, soak in the tub for an hour, and let the stress melt away. Set the mood with some candles and some music. At the end of the evening (or day), finish the experience with a lovely orgasm. Maybe you can get away to a secluded spot like a cabin or somewhere you can reach in a few hours but not at home. Break the routine with some fun things.
Yeah, Dutch has some great suggestions..Most women don't take the time for themselves..we're caregivers for the most part. Buy some sexy lingerie..pretty silky sheets..Just sit back and touch yourself without the intent of an orgasm..Enjoy the feeling..if it happens great..if not that's ok too : ) No pressure..
To the original poster: you say you feel "bored" at times when masturbating. Best thing to do is to follow Dutch's advice: stay off of it for a while. Then build it up. Tease yourself (not tonight, not tonight). There will come a day when you're in full swing again. Also, as suggested here before: meds (like anti-depressants) can really mess up your libido. That's well known. I have experienced it myself with my girlfriend: I needed hours to get to a mediocre orgasm. It wasn't funny for her, nor for me. So if you're on some type of medication, check the information leaflet to see if it mentions reduced libido as a side-effect.
Effexor (an anti-depressant) did that to me..It was awful. If I even wanted to have sex it was almost impossible to acheive an prgasm..Totally sucked.. Just happy that I've been off that for about 2 yrs..Things are back to normal : )
I'm on meds for epilepsy & it has the same sort of effect with me when having sex with a partner. Ever since I've been on these meds (Sodium Valproate - aka brand name Epilim) it's simply impossible to reach a standard orgasm without intervention by myself. I can bring myself to orgasm with self masturbation with no problem, but I guess this is only because I have full control over the pressure & rate that I require. To a degree, a problem such as this can be quite an asset, coming across as major sexual stamina, seeing as it very rarely affects the quality of the erection itself - it's just that after a while, no matter how good the sexual experience may be, you just can't help but feel obligated to move onto the next stage, at which point I have to withdraw for a couple of minutes & masturbate myself to the brink of an orgasm. When I feel myself getting close, I try to re-penetrate in time to share the experience of the climax. Needless to say, sometimes I don't make it in time & I end up ejaculating all over my partner. Being Bi, I obviously have the same sort of problems with men. I've never yet managed to achieve an anally penetrated orgasm - although, for that matter, with my girth, it's not often I manage to achieve anal penetration at all, but even on the occasions when I've been limited to Mutual Masturbation, only one other man has ever been able to bring me to orgasm - and knowing my own previous sexual problems, that took me more by surprise than anything else, although certainly a very welcome & pleasant surprise.
