Demons of insomia

These sheets are no shield from the world outside
​

Because this brutal world takes it's residence inside my head
​

I can hear it scream inside my head, as I try to silence it with sleep
​

But it howls like a starving wolf with the scent of blood
​

My head plays tricks and games with me, taunting and confusing my senses long into the dead, frozen night.
​

Making me pray for the early dawn that melts away these midnight demons that, live inside of me, into nothing but a pile of ashes
​

 

this is good rabbitholes! sometimes, less is better. Your title is strong, gives us all we need to know... so if you trim it down and rid it of words just for words... see if you like this version... I left all the extra-sensory stuff, the meat if you will.... very nice poem! Sorry, if you don't like my version. I tend to grab onto good ones out here and play, forgive!

Insomnia​

Sheets are no shield from the world​

outside​

brutal world takes it's residence​

inside my head​

screaming​

I try to silence it​

it howls like a starving wolf​

with the scent of blood​

it plays tricks, games​

taunting and confusing my senses​

long into the dead, frozen night​

I pray for the dawn​

that melts away​

midnight demons​

into nothing but a pile of ashes​

 

Wow, i love how that really changes the mood of it.

i think it gives it more a dramatic feel to it.

thanks for the advice.

and, no i don't mind.

 

Hey Rabbit,

an insomniac myself, I find your poem very consistent to what one feels during a bout of extended sleeplessness when you can't quite stay awake but can't really fall asleep and you just go into this state of blurred conciousness where daemons seem to flit about and poison any thought your sleep-starved brain might muster up....great work describing it.

best,

-V

 

Thats a great compliment considering i'm not an a full blown insomniac


though i do not sleep well at all