Help, pleas I need help on a hard and weird thing.

lykketrollet,
not sure if i spelled your name right. it sounds to me like your friend is trying to control and manipulate you. i have been through the same kind of experience with different people and learned that if someone really cares about you they will not try to push you into something that you are not comfortable with. real friends dont' want to manipulate or control you, they accept you the way you are. if you are not sure about your sexuality maybe you could join a support group regarding these issues. i know this must be very hard to deal with. i believe in gay/homosexual rights, and that lifestyle. recently someone i knew that was bi-sexual tried to talk me into a three way relationship with her and her boyfriend. this angered me because she knew that i am happily married and am heterosexual. she had no business to try to inflict her ideas on me. then she wrote on another website that i wrote on that i was prejudice against gay people. i was so hurt by this. this isn't true friendship. i have many gay/lesbian friends that respect my lifestyle and i respect and support theirs. we do not try to intrude on one another's beliefs. good luck and i hope that you are able to find peace within your soul. here in america, there are many support groups for bi-sexual, gay/lesbian and homosexuals, i hope you can find a good group where you live.
peace and joy
hippiewise

 

lykketrollet,
I noticed you haven't replied to the last few posts, and I can only hope and pray that you are still reading them. So many good things have been said, I don't need to repeat all of them. I do feel I need to tell you, you have very good instincts. The whole situation is weird, wrong, and I would go so far as to say evil. Not that a Master/Slave relationship is evil, but it is a thing that is easily abused. And this man(?) is definitely abusing your friend. I've known a good many singles and couples who were seriously into Bondage/Discipline and Sadism/Masochism, and 600 lashes is way, way beyond anything I've ever seen anyone give as punishment. The man is sick, he is taking your friend with him into his sickness. Don't let him take you. You are too precious to waste yourself like that. I know this is hard, because it means your friend will not be your friend anymore, but you can't save her by getting hurt yourself. Maybe by standing up and saying "This is NOT right, and I will NOT let myself be used this way" your courage may give her the boost she needs to get herself out someday.
May the Goddess cradle you both in Her arms, and bring you through this whole. Blessed Be.

 

Hi, I haven't replied cause I don't know what to say anymore. I keep telling myself that I should stop and just not do this. I know this is wrong and I know I should just go away, but I don't know how. I go throu it over and over again in my head, but when it gets to the point where I should do it I just feel week and can't say it.

I can't see her getting out of it any day, she is to innto him, she thinks he is her everything. She jokes about him beeing her God, but neither him or me are rellay sure how serious she is about it.

I don't about any support group in my area for my age group. My town isn't that big. Im sorry about what your friend did hippiewise, that was just plane stupid of her. She wasn't right to first trying to push you into something and then talk bad about you..

 

You've talked to him?

 

yes, of course I've talked to him. He is allways calm and he is possitive about what he belives is right... He isn't open to any compromises.

 

lykketrollet i get the feeling that you're tempted to say yes to this experience because it's a bit alluring and titillating to you. but guess what? it's perfectly normal !! you should not feel bad that you're even hesitating or comtemplating this, because the weirdest sex games can sometimes turn us on all, and countless people -even adults- have often placed themselves in situations that they never thought their good judgement would allow them to. So you're not alone

We all have weakenesses when it comes to sex, males and females, adults and kids, it's our nature. And the key for a good sexual predator or "master" is to know how to exploit your weakness, the place where you feel insecure, alone & confused...

In your case it's about your confusion over sex with females (which is why you posted here). I can understand that it makes you feel ashamed to think about it..we've all been there. And this guy understands that, so it puts him in a situation of power where he can use your friend to get you try anything, and fast.

Why you might ask ? well, because he knows that you'd probably not feel right to be with a girl alone, because you don't want to be a "lesbian"...so if he can sell you the idea of being in a 3some where you both technically serve a guy, then I guess you're not really doing with a girl after all...clever eh ??? yes, that's what manipulation is all about, and he gets what he wants.

Don't be fooled, for him to say you're "undominant" or passive means is just to project something onto you so you feel like you seeked it. In fact, I'm sure he noticed that you're a TOUGH girl which is why you're hesitating, and he wants to BREAK that. Cause there's nothing a master like him hates more than girls who do not bow to their needs. it's a mental disease that causes him to want the greatest number of girls to submit to him cause he hates feminity. But he'll never be satisfied cause he can never get them all, and that will make more hateful and punishing to his girlfriends.

So best to stay away, far away. This is just a decoy to make you forget the real issue here : you're in a period of great questioning about your sexuality, you're growing, you're evolving.

It's not even TIME for you to have sex in those moments. just allow your mind to do some maturing. soon enough (believe it or not) you'll find a girl you'll want to try it out with, and when you do I promise you will not hesitate as to whether it's right or not do it. It'll be beautiful, and will be memories that you'll take with you for a lifetime

Good luck !!!

 

"So best to stay away, far away. This is just a decoy to make you forget the real issue here : you're in a period of great questioning about your sexuality, you're growing, you're evolving.

It's not even TIME for you to have sex in those moments. just allow your mind to do some maturing. soon enough (believe it or not) you'll find a girl you'll want to try it out with, and when you do I promise you will not hesitate as to whether it's right or not do it. It'll be beautiful, and will be memories that you'll take with you for a lifetime "

THESE ARE EXCELLENT WORDS OF ADVICE BY JUNGEE

lykketrollet: THIS MAN THAT YOU TALK OF SOUNDS VERY EVIL AND CONTROLLING, HE WILL TAKE YOUR SOUL IF YOU LET HIM, YOU ARE TOO PRECIOUS IN JAH'S EYES TO DO THIS TO YOURSELF, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LEAVE PEOPLE LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND BEHIND, IT SEEMS SHE IS MESMERIZED BY THIS GUY, DON'T FALL INTO HIS CLUTCHES TOO. YOU ARE TOO STRONG AND TO ABOVE THIS. FIND YOUSELF AND THEN FIND YOUR TRUE SOULMATE.
HIPPIEWISE

 

Jungee, you just said in a few words something that happened to me that for a year and a half I was never able to explain to anyone, partly because I was ashamed about the fact that my sexual orientation includes girls, and partly because I didn't quite get it. You know what... I'll never be able to explain the depth in how this guy manipulated me to anyone. My heart so much wants to express what happened, but no one could believe me. So thanks for touching on it.

 

That means a lot you'd say that Ginger, I'm glad to be of some help.. As far as explaining your situation to others, of course it's tough! cause all you can ever reveal is half of the truth, since you have to obliterate the real reasons why you were in that situation, it being such a shameful secret.

But without the full picture people can not really get it, and sexual manipulators take advantage of that...that's why I heard so many bisexual and lesbians girls end up in prostitution and porn -which in itself can sound like a contradiction cause they end up having sex with guys most of the time- but once they've been shamed by someone in their past they end up believing they're "bad girls" and spend the rest of their lives trying to live up to that reputation.

Thanks Hippie..knowledge is power, isn't it ?

 

Yup.. exactly, although I did sort of 'come out with' the whole story to a counsellor. But the only thing she got from it was that I'm not straight. I don't think she quite gleaned that it was more about a manipulation thing... oh well.

I've guessed that, actually, but always had 'no way'-ish second thoughts about it. It's a really interesting idea. Interesting and sad.

 

I am sorry about bumpping a three year old thread, but I have kept a diary in my e-mail pad, partly from the days posting here, I have just read through it and I had pasted on the link to this forum and this thread in there. I seriously couldent believe my mind, you guys were so true and I was way to young to understand it. My reason for now suddenly reading my old diary posts and posting this message is simply because my birthday is next week which makes it three years since I first met the guy.

It is stupid, I know, bumping old posts, but I had to thank you. I don't know how many of you who are still active in the forum, but even though I at that time was way to young to understand your answears, it helped me today. This experience has made me grow, faster than needed.

It is a little late reply, but:
To hipunk: You were totally right, in every word you spoke, you were true. It hurts to read this now, and I had to crie for your friend while reading it. None of us died, but other than that, your story is so a like to what happened that it hurt reading it. And what a fool I was not understanding that this man was just the same as Marks master. I didn't understand it back then, but I understand it today and today your post helped me, know that. And thank you, truly, thank you.

To jungee: Though I am not involved with porn, I understand the feelings to these bi- n' lesbian girls who do get involved with porn after something like this. The relationship I have to my body now is absolutely not the same as the one I had towards it before. Not a day goes by were I am not stashing it up, trying not to look like the trash I feel like. But it acctualy helped hearing this, understanding that it is "normal" to feel like this after something like this.

Today I feel like an ex-alcoholic. I am finished crying, I just have mye weak periods from time to time.

I can not thank you enough, all of you who answeared me on this thread, so many wise words from all of you and such an ignorant mind from me. It is a late reply, I know. I just had to give my thanks to all of you.

Best wishes from me, Anette.