kind of a weird problem and I need some momma's advice

My ex's mom never used to like me. When we were still in high school, she used to pressure him about college and I'm not sure what she said or did, but one day she drove him so nuts he didn't want to go back

Long story short, I moved out too and we made it on our own.

She used to blame me and say until I came along everything was fine. Erik says that's not true.

Recently we broke up and he moved home for a few days. He said it was as awful as before. So he moved out of there.

I'm not sure what happened, but apparently it was so bad in his eyes that he didn't call his dad on his birthday and he didn't see his mom or even call her on Mother's Day.

He's my ex so it's not my problem anymore, right? Wrong. His mom called me up, AGAIN blaming me for everything that happened.

How do I deal with this? Can any of you mom's out there relate to her? What can I do to get her off my back?

 

I don't have any advice for you sweetie besides telling her the next time that she tries to contact you that you can't talk, or just screen your calls if you have an answering machine or caller ID. She should not be calling you and accusing you of things that she knows nothing of in reality. I'm not saying to be disrespectful at all, but it's not right that she's blaming you for her son's actions. You didn't hold a gun to his head, he made his own decisions.

{{{Hugs}}} and good luck

 

ignore her. or just tell her that your both old enough and mature enough to make your own choices and hes doing his own thing now and so are you so get over it.

 

There are people who always blame others for their problems and mistakes. This womyn didn't like her son's decisions (although there was nothing wrong with the path he took, not everyone wants to go to college) so instead of just blaming fate, or heaven forbid, herself, she blamed you.

She has probably done this her entire life and will continue to do it for the rest of her life. Remember a while ago we were all talking about Borderline Personality? Blaming others, all the time, for one's own mistakes, or for things which were NO ONE'S fault is a classic trait of BPD. Ignore this womyn, and don't contact her. If she calls again (screen your calls, and turn off your machine if you see her on caller ID) and you do pick up, tell her you will get a restraining order if she doesn't leave you alone.

You have done nothing wrong. Don't let her problems become yours.

 

OMG, did she call you on Mother's Day? I could just see the wheels turning in her twisted head, looking for someone, anyone, to blame for her son not wanting to be with her on that day. Sheesh. Womyn like this are pitiful.

I have an Ex-Friend who is going to be just like this when her sons start dating. I already feel for those poor girls.

 

In a way, I feel really bad for her. It must feel awful to know your son doesn't want to be with you at all.

She's the kind of person who cares a LOT about her place in society. Everything her family does (and doesn't do) reflects on her somehow. Nothing will ever change her mind or lighten her up. That's ok, she is happy the way she is. But her and Erik's idea of life and happiness are so different.

It's hard for me to be really mean to her, because in a way I can put myself in her shoes and think about how she feels, but I'm not even with Erik anymore and it's not right for her to be calling me and blaming me for his actions.

*sigh* what else sucks is that most of the time when she calls she's had a few too many glasses of wine.

 

yeah, the lady is nuts-o.

Remember those horrible girls in highschool that always found a way to make everyone around them miserable? They become mothers-in-law from hell.

My MIL is a little like this; she won't say anything to me, but just a few weeks ago, she made a comment to my husband that we had our first child just to spite her, lmao, talk about thinking the world revolves around you! She thinks our entire family, and marriage, are based on our hatred for her. Whatever lady.

 

...

 

I can give you the opposing view point. My mother blamed my ex for stupid things. For example when I first had my hair into a mohawk, she said I only got it cause my then girlfriend wanted me to (which is rubbish, she acutally didn't want me to have it but I had it anyway), as well as so much other stuff.

The only thing I can advise is do your best to ignor it, as hard as it is to do. She's got no right to give you hassle, specially when your no longer seeing her son.

 

my mother in law seems to think i'm her son's babysitter. i don't know where he is most of the time, i gave up the nanny business when i left my ex. for some reason my mother in law believes i need to ask all sorts of intrusive questions of dave and communicate the answers to her. she's not quite the psycho your ex's mom is, but it's a pain. some women can't for the life of them understand why their son's would prefer a woman who's NOTHING like them, she's still mystified. lol. as for heady, well, there's nothing you can do but ignore her and change your number.

 

[...

 

a