I don't have enough friends

that I like.


I mean I have a best friend that I really like and I like about 4 or 5 other people in my group of friends but other than that I don't like most of the people I hang out with.
Like it's not that I have no friends I just don't have the right friends i guess, most of my friends i'm only friends with cause we get high together a lot.
There are only like 4 people I hang out with regularly on the weekends
and all my other friends i just see like during school and sometimes after school
I guess it's not that bad it could be worse
but i hate being so fake all the time because i have to pretend that i like all these people that i don't cause my friends are friends with them and they actually like them.

last year i was raped and no one really knows besides my best friend but i don't mind talking about it online cause i'll probably never meet any of you,
but i feel like I was just way better before that happened, like I had a lot more friends but I think i'm more awkward now and I have a harder time getting to know people

my mom's forcing me to switch schools next year any way so hopefully i'll meet more people that i like, but does anyone else have this problem because I feel like I should "be myself" but then that would end up in everyone being pissed at me and I hate it when people are mad at me.

 

See, I saw the problem in the first paragraph. What the hell is you doin' gettin' high for? Did health class teach you NOTHING? RE-EDUCATION CHILD!

Anyway, if I wanted friends, I could go make them. That's why I have some. I don't have a bunch, but I have some. And that's enough for me. I don't need a crowd.

 

Don't worry, it could be worse. Before, I used to have like 4 people to socialize in school, but we very very rarely met outside school days. Pretty shy I was.

Now it's getting better, and I'd say I have more friends than before, like at least 10 people I can be with confidently, but we still never go out. (well we went out like 6 time together) and it's pretty damn boring. Plus I don't have a ''best friend'', you know that kind of person you're absolutely certain you can always count on when everything goes wrong.

So there are people around me but I feel alone.

Well good for you, for a few people, it's harder than you think to just go make friends.

 

Be yourself no matter what. Hopefully, you will change school next year, meet other friends and eventually it will be better. Don't worry, I've passed by there too, teenager years are hard, if not the hardest years.

 

I didn't have a huge lot of friends at that age either. Better few but true.