Hello all! I'll try to make my story as short as possible and just include the facts!! First off, I need help, I'm bisexual, I have a girlfriend (things aren't exactly great.) and I recently talked to a good friend of mine, and we both admitted to each other (a male friend) that we were either gay or bi. So, we started talking more about how we felt and the feelings we were having and times we were going through. One thing led to another, and he finally said he liked me. No big deal right??? WRONG. As I got to thinking, I think I like him as well. NOW...here's the real problem. About 3 years ago, my parents and a couple friends (that I told) found out I was bi, my friends were basical fine with it, but it became a hassle for them, and they were just like...w/e. Anyways, my parents didn't take it well....AT ALL, in fact, they are very conservative and they cried and said you are not, and freaked out, and for the most part kept me locked in the house....(I'll spear you the details for now) So, to get my life back that seemed to have been semi-working, I lied and suppressed my real feelings for the good of my friends and family. Again, leaving out the details, my family (mom, dad, and sister) think I'm straight, and have a great relationship with my current girlfriend (which isn't really the case). I know it sounds weird, but they all honestly believe me that I'm straight and that everything is back to normal and it was just a hoax and "phase" ha. So after all that, only two people know the "REAL" me. My old best friend from high school (we talk occassionally) and the friend I mentioned at the beginning of the story. I know for sure that I can't come out to my mom and dad... at least not for a long time. I'll be 21 this summer and I'm 3.5 hours away from home at college. My friends at college have no idea, I think, they know I have a girlfriend, and thats it. Since I just came out to my one friend and he came out to me, I have started to think more about coming to more friends, for more support and for ME!!! So I don't have to hide it from everyone...and I can be me for once. My best friend that knew I was BI a long time ago thinks I'm straight now, and I want to tell her I'm BI but I'm afraid she'll be like OH GREAT, here we go again, I know what you are thinking...some best friend...we are...it's just how we work...lol. So that's what I need help with, how can I come out to her and maybe some of my friends at college???? And to my sister, she's a little more liberal than the parents, she's older than I am and we are very close. I actually wanna tell her, I'm just scared...A LOT!!! I'm sorry this was so long, but I think it helped me explain myself....TO myself and understand this chaos. Thank you so much for any advise.
I'm basically going through what you're going through. Albeit... Slightly less. My mother accepted me with a 'lol o rly' outlook and shrugged iot off, later explaining that she was bummed about the lack of grand children. I'm doubtful my father would be so accepting, so I've yet to tell him. But you coming out to your parents in the first place gets you a massive kudos. All I can say is, some people are simply intolerant of other people, which is silly. I saw Chuck and LArry, and I wished it were that easy to be gay. MY proposal? Try out some social engineering on people you'd like to come out to. Hey, friend! What are your views on abortion? Oh, is that so? How about the war in Iraq? Wow! You've got some nice views. What's something else big in the news... Um. OH! How do you feel about gay marriage and stuff? Try something like that. IF they're tolerant of gays they'll be tolerant of bis... Probably. Edit* People say to try to ask them how they'd react if you said something like, 'What would you do if a friend of yours was gay?' I laugh at that suggestion, cause it's really suspicious.
thanks for your input, i really appreciate it!! Although, i decided to chicken out...just a bit. i'm telling my best friend, as i called her in the thread, through email. I know it's "cop-out" but it's the only thing i can bring myself to do. I sent it yesterday night and she hasn't responded to it...she's had me check her email and stuff b4 so i know her password...creepy lol...i know, but i check and she just hasn't checked her email so it's still just waiting there for her, i swear it's like ten pages long.... but once i let her know i'll talk to her more and get her opinion and ask her what else i can do and whatnot. i'll keep you posted and definately use your ideas for other friends. and since you are going through the same/similar situation, maybe you could share yours and i could help maybe with your situtation?? just a thought thanks again for your help.
oh boy, I am going through the first phase, but im only gay, not bi... but I am so scared that my friends and family has the same reaction...i cant imagine going through all that, but i do hope the best for u
