what is the craziest thing you have done after taking a wee nip of the creature?

i remember when i went to the bar with my good friend josh on this 21st birthday and had probably about 10 long island iced teas in pint glasses...for some reason i felt like trying to start something with my sisters boyfriends uncle(didnt know him back then hehehe)...well his nickname is brutus for a good reason...the man is a good head taller than i and probably almost 3 times my size...god damned long islands...

and then a couple weeks ago...well this isnt so much crazy as funny but...i saw my 9th grade science teacher mr ordway...i raised my glass in a grand geusture and everyone went dead silent...i said "heres to jeff ordway, he taught me everything i know about astrophysics...and how to love a woman...heres to jeff!!!" hehehe...the whole bar was rip roaring laughing...

 

I wanna have a drink with you one day Jer. you seem like a good ole boy to get plastered with. What is your tipple of choice?

 

Craziest thing I've ever done after drinking? Red.

(I wish.)

 

well,
perhaps red...but im staying away from the booze for now...ive spent too many years attatched to the whisky tit and ive lost alot because of that...but if you must know...gin and tonic...and not in those dixie cup pussy glasses either...i mean pint glasses...

 

I'll send you a bottle of your choice for my birthday.

OK, drunken stories.
I've got lots but one time on the 13th February, I got a train from London to Edinburgh in Scotland while wasted and in lust for this girl I had been seeing who had moved there. I had been to se her a couple of times and knew now that we were just friends. But while roaring drunk, I lost sight of this fact.

The next morning, after a few hours on the train and a few on the station bench in Edinburgh, I called her. I asked her what her plans were for Valentine's. She said that she was working and when she asked me I told her that I was gonna buy a bunch of roses and walk around the city(London was where she thought I was) and give them to the hottest girl I saw. She thought that was hilarious and said I might even get lucky.

At about 8.45am, I saw her walking accross the park from her place to work. so I walked out from behind some bushes and presented her with the roses.

You shoulda seen her smile.

 

thats a really awesome story red

 

I've never been gin man. I've seen way too many girls break down into tears after drinking it. But to each his own. I'm on a whiskey tilt at the moment but I am fond of a good Bloody Mary.

 

are you kidding? gin is great! especially hendricks....oh man

 

yeah,
gin makes laugh alot...but i know plenty of people who would try to put their fist through you after a few too many...OOOooo bloody mary's, i havent had one of those in ages...

 

Ooooh, gin. You are my greatest love and my greatest enemy.

Hendricks for me too. We keep Bombay Sapphire in the liquor cabinet, and Hendricks hidden away so our friends won't drink it all.

 

I used to be partial to bloody marys on Sunday morning/afternoons.

I haven't had one in ages either. Decent vodka is so fucking expensive here.:$

 

I tend to be more sane when I drink...

 

hmm.. craziest? smoking crack with a tranny after too many whisky sours and shots of Jagermeister. we compared bits and mine were prettier.. hahahahahahaha

 

hahahaha....good times.

 

Trannies make the world go round and bring warmth to the hearts of children everywhere...

 

Not the craziest but one of the dumbest things was on a Wedensday night drinking cups of Rum with my old roomate, I ate a handful of mushrooms thinking I was the man. And had to wake up at 5am to drop my son off at daycare and get to work. That diaper change right after the peak was a moment I will never, ever forget.

 

drinking a bottle of whisky at a pizza shop at like 1am. These kids inside were lipping us off so eventually a brawl broke up. I faught the biggest of the group who is like one of those all star football goons, dunno how but made him run like a pussy.

Then the police took me home.

 

smoked crack in an alley with a homeless guy after leaving a show because "there were too many college educated people there" :rolleyes"

no idea

 

i would love to regale you with my stories
but most of them i forget
there have been far too many

one of the craziest things i did back at the house parties i used to have was we all went into these woods looking for the "hippie shacks"
just some abandoned buildings
we drunk as fuck decided to go into these dark ass woods without any flash lights
we got to the hippie shacks by one guy using his cell phone light and all of us trailing behind in a linked arms fashion
we get there to find my two neighbours, who are the weirdest creepiest guys ever
already there, one of them was in a bathrobe

we smoked and i don't even know but all of us got lost in the woods separately
i trudged through the woods towards the lights of the dairy queen that's sort of next to my house
i finally get out of the woods on the completely other side of where we went in
i venture home and no ones there except for the people that didn't go into the woods
i sit down on the picnic table looking haggard
slowly everyone turns up one after the other
everyone looking FUCKED
and my friends that didn't go were freaked all like "what the fuck happened in those woods?"

that was a crazy night

but that was a couple years ago, and i've done alot more crazy shit than that

god there are so many stories

 

I've poll danced, recited Shakespeare at a coffee shop (material that I had NO idea was even in there), I had this one party where I collected all the silly and ridiculous hats you could possibly think of and everyone put them on, I peed on a church, I rode my bike into the St. Lawrence River off a dock, I've swam across a lake and gone off the rope swing while intoxicated, I've played football in the snow, I played hockey once while drunk - that was super fun, I've made love in the grass, I lost a bag of hash in a cornfield, I got lost and zoomed in the largest outdoor maze in Ontario, I blazed with Marc Emery, I went crop hunting and stole somebody's stash, and I have done plenty of other crazy things while under the influence.

I'm not all bore and ho-hum, I swear.