I will be giving away $1,000 to some forum poster in need -

I think that we all have a responsibility in life to help each other. So, I will be giving $1,000 to some forum member who is in need.

Here are the criterias to be elligible:

Must not work;
Must not take booze or drugs;
Must have a valid reason to need the money;
Must live alone;
Must be sick or dead;
Must not hear voices in his head;
Must not have a postal address;
Must not be part of any religious organization;
Must not like the color grey;
Must not have aids;
Must be over 65;
Must not be obese;
Must have all of his hair;
Must have all of his eyes;
Must not play in casinos;
Must not like to go swimming;
Must not reside in the u.s.;
Must like chocolate cake;
Must be able to play the piano;
Must have been hit on the head in the last 24 hours by some karate guy;
Must not smoke;
Must celebrate xmas not more than twice a year;
Must be able to play dodge ball;
Must like the color grey;
Must be able to read brail;
Must be able to ride a unicycle;
Must have wrestled with Roseanne Barr;
Must be able to prove he was once a judge of the supreme court

 

damn i was out by rule two!!!!!

 

hmmm... looks like your talking about me, do you want my info so you know where to send the money?

 

Get ready to fork over those dollars, friend....I pass every one of your requirments!

Cha-ching!!

 

today is my birthday! na na na na na na na I'M GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME! na na na na na na na...

 

Mmmmm - so some of you like the color grey and like the color grey...

 

Dear Friend,


I meet all the criteria of your little cash give-away except that I am not over 65 years old. If you choose to not give me the prize money based on the age requirement, you can guarantee I will sue your lonely, philanthropedic ass till you're begging for the return of your former pathetic life. I am able to do the proceeding for the mere fact that I was a former judge. Your cooperation in this matter is eminent!

Sincerely,

Bogs

 

Must not work; I try not to
Must not take booze or drugs; Does vodka count?
Must have a valid reason to need the money; THE MOST VALID!......shopping
Must live alone; It's about time the kids moved out. The youngest is almost 2!
Must be sick or dead; Mentally, I qualify
Must not hear voices in his head; don't have a "his head" so the voices in my "her head" are fine
Must not have a postal address; nope, that way the bills never find me
Must not be part of any religious organization; I worship bacon but that's not organized
Must not like the color grey; I do not like grey, I like gray
Must not have aids; I can't afford to hire any, that's why I need the damn money
Must be over 65; I assure you I am over 65 days old
Must not be obese; My friends call me pleasantly plump
Must have all of his hair; check
Must have all of his eyes; check, I took those too. I'll bet he'll never check out another woman when he's with me agian!
Must not play in casinos; I don't, I gamble in casinos
Must not like to go swimming; Hell!!! I don't even bathe
Must not reside in the u.s.; I'm just visiting
Must like chocolate cake; check
Must be able to play the piano; I play the best damn "Mary had a Little Lamb" you will ever hear!
Must have been hit on the head in the last 24 hours by some karate guy; Yep, my son. He's a trained assassin
Must not smoke; I quit 3 days ago. Why? Do you HAVE a cigarette? *drools*
Must celebrate xmas not more than twice a year; Doesn't everybody?
Must be able to play dodge ball; I won a championship
Must like the color grey; I love grey, not gray
Must be able to read brail; I read it, good book
Must be able to ride a unicycle; Sure can and will. Now, where does this Unicycle guy live?
Must have wrestled with Roseanne Barr; And kicked her fat ass!!!!!
Must be able to prove he was once a judge of the supreme court he was but what does that have to do with me?



so........will that be a cashier's check?

otherwise, I 'll need to see 2 forms of ID

 

HEY!!!!

*holds out hand*

Where the hell is my check?

 

damn!!! i broke too many rules. *cries*