hey, noticed recently ive been havin issues with being assertive and generally being walked on by ppl cuz 4 sum reason i fl i cant stand up for myself and its really bugging me!! i dont really kno how u can change an aspect like that, must b quite hard work tbh as its one of them things u either have or dont have. take for instance today, was looking for a parking space and sum girl was stood in the middle of a free one on the phone. i pulled almost into the space to park and she jus stood there blocking me with a 'wtf?' look on her face. i opened my door and asked what she was doing (tho was quite obvious she was holding the space 4 sumone else to park there - which is a fuckin joke, u cant do that!!) an she jus shrugged. i got back in the car an drove off feeling like i wanted to smack the little bitch for making me feel as if i cudnt even get her to move!! wat shud u do in a situation like that cuz its been frustratin me all day?!?! 2 options: one do what i did an try an find another space - no hassle. or two, drive slowly forward edging her back until in the space and have a go at her when you get out (or equally ignore her) and potentially have ur car keyed by her bf/dad/whoever she was holding the space for?? really apprciate any response cuz i cant help but feel my decision was the 'wimp' decision an i shud have stood my ground cuz it aint fair to hold a space for someone in a packed parking lot. but at the same time the fucker cud have dun sumthin 2 my car which i cant afford to get fixed rite now so is it worth it?? thanks!!!
It's bugging you that you didn't push a woman out of a parking spot with your car? Somehow I don't think you have both feet in reality. Here's a hint: being aggressive towards women isn't a good thing.
I find that people with assertiveness issues actually have anger issues and often don't know the line between assertive and aggressive (wanting to push someone is not assertive, it's aggressive) and just resort to passivity. By anger issues, I don't necessarily mean being angry all the time... but denying anger as an emotion all together. If I were to guess, I'd say you don't allow yourself to be angry when the situation calls for it. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING ANGRY!!!! You need to learn to recognize anger as a legitimate and normal emotion and how to properly harness that emotion in a positive way (e.g. being assertive). Maybe when you learn this you won't get pissy about a parking space, because really... who cares?
gaiabee i think ur right. i neva allow myself to get angry at things, and yeh so perhaps i was goin a little extreme by wanting to pretty much run someone over lol, but the idea is that is simply took a breath and drove on feeling like id been trodden on like a piece of shit rather than at least defending the point that u cant stand in a freakin parking space saving it for someone in a car park with no spaces an loads of cars wanting to park!!! nvm its dead and buried but it did make me realise (as im not often in situations like that) that perhaps there is a problem with releasing anger or at the very least standing up for myself.
i think you need to pick and choose your battles and you need to be assertive at times and patient at others i dono if she was really holding the parking space although thats a shitty thing to do i dono i think you made the right decision by driving off and that doestn mean your not assertive
I think you made the right decision. You have to pick your battles. I have found that assertiveness comes with experieince. The older I get the less problem I have with being assertive. I deserve to live on this planet and take in air and respect people and be respected in return. i do not need to apologize for my existence. I used to feel like I did...like i was just taking up space.
