Sex with friends

Ok, this question is mainly for the girls.

So you and a really close male friend are a bit wasted one night and you're feeling frisky. Normally, you wouldn't have sex with him cos you are friends, but tonight you are so horny, you weigh up the options, and decide to go for it.

He, trying to be the gentleman and do the right thing, turns you down, saying you'll both regret it in the morning.

Did he do the right thing?

 

Yes, he did. If he knew I was gonna regret it the next day, he did a great thing.

 

Nope! Because I feel rejected now. Even if I wake up in the morning and think "Holy shit, that would have been SUCH a bad idea" - and I probably would wake up and think that - now I'll also think he rejected me.

This is probably a really, really personal thing, but for me personally I would say he's done the wrong thing.

(I'm assuming he's attracted to me - if he's not, he should of course turn me down and just PRETEND that it's because he's a gentleman. "Believe me, you're incredibly sexy, but I don't want you to do anything you'd regret and I value our friendship too much." Mental note: Jesus, what a skank. lol)

I've done this three different times. One friend tried to do the right thing but, y'know...men are incredibly weak. One friend (different one) it kinda fucked the relationship up because he got a crush on me. One turned into a pretty regular fuckbuddy, which was lovely.

Edit: Ha, Piaf! While I was writing "This is a really personal thing," what I was thinking was "Janja is going to disagree vehemently with me."

 

This all stems from an old conversation with a friend. I was always the type to do the gentlemanly thing but she enlightened me as to how the woman might feel(similiarly to Molly).

At the time, I was shocked, cos I really had believed that I was doing the right thing.

 

Hahaha...You and I are exact opposites...Its a good thing.

 

Yeah, but I look at it this way : We're friends, we're suppose to take care of each other. So I'd appreciate it if my male friends prevented me from doing stupid things ( like having sex with them ) while I'm drunk. I mean if I cant trust my friends, whom can I trust ?

 

I think he did the right thing. Although I've had sex with friends before. It always makes it "weird".

 

I think Piaf's point is 100% valid - and I think mine is too. Totally depends on the woman.

Good luck trying to figure out which type you're dealing with next time, by the way. lol

 

he did the right thing, cause sex ruins the friendship... according to seinfeld. lol.

 

That's where the problem lies. So if it ever happens again, I've decided to not care about the friend's feelings and if I really want to, then I'll do it. But I mean really want to.

 

You know, if we all followed Seinfeld in life we'd be a lot more successful in our relationships. :H

 

I would say he did the wrong thing. Although I may regret it in the morning, I would feel 100 times worse if I prompted it and was rejected. Ive had this drunk sex with a friend before, and it didnt change anything.

 

He could have genuinely not wanted to ruin the relationship and then realized you didn't care.
Just defending my gender though, I don't know the fellow so for now I'll take your word :tongue:


With fuck buddies being so common these days and me being a teenager, this is a situation I'm very, very used to.
I'd say the best option is to turn them down, and then if you are still open to the idea, don't be afraid to flirt with them more on a daily basis or to ask if her if she would have regretted it. =P

 

if you want to go for it, go for it. as long as everyone consents, it's going to be fine. if it breaks the friendship, then that friendship wasn't going to last anyway, imo.

 

Definitely, sex always makes things weird. It shows that he values more their friendship than a night of drunken fun. I understand the girl would feel rejected at the moment and very insecure, it's a thing we women have, we apparently can process that a guy is turning down sex and when it happens, what's most likely to follow it's a delusional self analysis to conclude that there's something wrong with us, but I think the next day, or at least some days later she'll realize that it was the best thing and will appreciate what her friend did.

 

I ain't a girl, but I think that the guy did the right thing. I'd always rather have a friend than a fuck buddy.

If there's actual romantic interest between the two parties, then I don't think that having drunken sex is the best way to start a relationship... kinda takes the romance out of it. Hell, drunken sex kinda takes the romance out of it period.

 

I agree with this...

 

It does look like my team is in the distinct minority here, Red. May want to take that under consideration.

 

depends. i wouldn't be wierd the next morning, but loads of people are.

 

I've had long an fulfilling relationships formed out of drunken shenanigans.