My brother's getting married...

I know you're doing the honourable thing in not speaking to your brother about her but she sounds so divisive and tricky. Maybe staying quiet gives her a hefty upper hand.

Does your brother even know what shes like?

 

I would just call her on her bullshit at every turn.

"You're only saying that because what you really want is this. Or you only say it that way so you can have it this way."

 

My brother is not only stubborn but sensitive. Acting like that would result in him "defending" his womans "honor" or some shit, and I'd have to beat his ass.

Not that I haven't beat his ass so many times that it's into quadruple digits growing up, but it's a bit undignified now, ya know?

 

Well then you're brother's doomed to learn it on his own.

 

No. He really doesn't see it. I've seen him put bitches out for saying I'm a bad influence on him, but this girl disrespects me, to my face, and disrespects my family behind their back, and he seriously can't seem to comprehend it.

I'll admit, she's good. She's sly as a fox. She says things to me that I would say to others. Things that are smiley insults as I call them. Most people don't catch them because she's so casual, but I play that game very well and don't miss a line.

 

He'll figure it out.

 

That sounds awful. I am sorry for you and your family seeing as I hate the fact that people like that exist let alone marry people.

The only consolation I can give is that even the best slip up at some point.

 

I think that this is the best possible action you can take. The spouses of family aren't always good choices but unfortunately that is not for us to decide.
I am sorry for your brother's loss but the last thing he needs when the shit hits the fan is an "I told you so."
Hopefully, you and him can have a quiet beer one night and talk about your reasons for not attending and you can calmly tell him how you feel about her motives for the hanky charade without actually telling him what a c*** you think she is.

 

I e-mailed him today and told him my account of how things transpired last night. I called her "rude and thoughtless to my whole family" in retort to her calling me rude and thoughtless for my fashion show comment, which wasn't intended that way. He called me on it. I told him, "I'm sorry I said it. I believe it, but it wasn't my place. She pissed me off, and I shot off at the mouth. Please don't ask me to explain as we'll disagree and it'll become an argument. I don't want to fight with you. You're my brother, and I love you. It's just not worth it."

That's all I have to say about it, to any of my family. Though I'm sure this will be a hot topic at visits for some time to come.

 

It sounds like you've done all you can do. Maybe later when the flames die down a bit, you will be able to attend the wedding for your brother's sake anyway and just not be the best man.
Once again, it sounds like a pretty shitty situation, glad it's not me.

 

That motherfucker texts me after I told him I had no ill intent with my comments and explained how I felt attacked as well and all he can say is, "What did she do to you to make you hate her?" and more along the same lines.

Fuck him. I wash my hands of him. For years I've bent over backwards to help him make his way. I've sacrificed time with my family to get him to or from the bus stop on his leaves here. I ruined my car driving him around while she has a brand new explorer that she "wont drive in the city". I've got virtually nothing from him but broken promises. No time, no double dates, no late night drinking... I've got a few stop-ins and some car time as I drive him around. I've ruined my credit and squandered multiple opportunities to make sure he made it in life.

I don't get Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, none of it. What's the point?

I don't need him and I don't need this.

 

Blow it all out on here and bite your tongue when it comes to him. Let the dust settle and then see how the ground lies man.

Family = Drama is an equation that has been proven again and again and...
Man + Pussy = Ability to Forget Others is another one.

Your brother sounds cuntstruck but hopefully he'll get over it.

 

what he said
exactly

play as nice as you can on the wedding day. dont fuck up their wedding. after that.. what happens, happens

 

I wont fuck up their wedding. He's not marrying me, so the wedding can still proceed, as far as I'm to understand the ritual.

So you guys suggest that I show up, and blatantly lie by smiling and nodding when everybody knows it's fake. Then congratulate and hug them etc, with both of them knowing I want her to rot in hell?

I prefer genuine to congenial. I've backed down so many times to be supportive of him. Like his happiness and well being are my responsibility. I still have to respect myself when this is said and done. I'm standing my ground and my brother will have to fly solo this time.

 

if youre going to show up, play nice or at least not assinine
or else just dont show up

 

Only you know what you should actually do. I don't know if that involves showing up or not. Only you know how much your presence/absense would mean to your brother. Who cares what she thinks.

 

Haha. My dad just asked me, "So why don't you want to go to Ana's fucking fasion show".

Out of everything that was said that's what she told everybody: "Adam says he doesn't want to be a part of my fucking fashion show".

Allonym, obviously I can't play nice so I wont play at all.