Any one income couples out there?

Hi all. I'm gay and my b/f and I have been together for three years. He is a maritime officer and makes a good income so we decided that I would quit my job and stay home. I am perfectly happy staying home, but I get tired of the attitude of others about it. Some people think it is unacceptable for a 29 year old man to not work (even though I worked at the same job for ten years). I always get asked "where do you work?", and than I get treated with pity when i tell them "nowhere". I sometimes lie and make up a job. I had my own home before we met and he had his. We now live in my home and we rent his out, so basically he now pays my mortgage payment and renters pay his. I have mentioned at least getting a part time job but he tells me not to worry about it and that I'm making too big a deal about it. Because of his schedule if I worked full time we would never see each other. I guess this post is more of a rant, but I just don't see how our situation is any different than a married straight couple where the woman (or man) stays home. He makes the money, but I am the one making sure the bills are paid and things get done around the house. Are any of you in the same situation?

 

I'm not gay and I still live with my parents, so I can't relate at all, but ignore people if they give you shit about how you live. If your boyfriend makes enough money for both of you doesn't mind sharing it with you, and you're happy staying at home, that's all that matters. There's no reason to work for someone if you don't even need the money. People who don't realize that are the kinds of people that worship money and think if you don't work and have money of your own then you're scum, and you shouldn't care what they think.

 

straight couples where one has to stay home usually means they have a child to take care of or they're a gold digger. sorry but making sure the "bills are paid and things get done around the house" are things he can easily do himself. by all means you can live off his income, i don't really care but how long will it last? you should always watch your back and keep that money flow going no matter what because if things go bad, you have your own money in hand when you need it.

just out of curiosity what do you do while he's working? i could never do what you do because i would be bored out of my mind.

 

Here's my take on it. If you guys have a solid relationship and he is comfortable with you staying at home ...go for it. Now that I'm retired I finally get to do the stuff at home I always wanted to...Making the house a home, Making a garden that feeds my family better food, building on to the house. The two of you are a couple because you compliment each others lives. If you stay at home and create a place that gives the two of you comfort, isn't that respectable work. I think it is. The art and work of making a home is often not respected or appreciated. There are people that don't understand the value of making a home a place of comfort. Thats sad because they may well miss out on some of the finest quality of life.
What if you guys decided to adopt a kid? Wouldn't it be cool to stay at home and give time to nurturing the kid? The skills it takes to run an effecient home can easily translate to market place skills if you need to return to work.

 

Sorry but I'm not a "gold digger". I already had half equity in my home before he moved in, and also a good job of my own. As for what I do when he's working, I maintain the place we live (5acres), I maintain HIS rental house, and I maintain another rental house we jointly own. I also spend time with my family and I help his brother with things sometimes (owns his own biz). I truly beleive we will always be together. We never argue and we live pretty much like an old married couple. We enjoy traveling together during his time off, but like I said, if I worked we wouldn't be able to.

 

Thank you. I think you understand where I'm coming from.

 

edit

 

Yeah Cali, I have thought about all of the things you mentioned. We have a joint account which I pretty much control, so he doesn't "allow" me a certain amount of spending money, and I do stick some back in a mutual fund (in my name). When he wants to make a big purchase he actually asks me if it's okay first, he knows I know more about our finances than he does. He says he doesn't want to manage the money, and tells me that's my job, lol. Sometimes he's out to work for up to five weeks at the time, so when he gets home I make sure the house is spotless and the fridge is stocked. It works fine for us, but like I said, it's the attitude of others I get tired of. I dunno, maybe it's jeolousy. There's alot of "haters" out there.

 

edit

 

That sounds great to me. People shouldn't give you a hard time. It's your life and your choice. People certainly don't give women shit when they choose to be homemakers. Though personally I'd rather be the breadwinner.

 

Sounds To Me....Like YouTwo Have A "Loving...Well Organised...Relationship"..........Sooooooooooo.... Why Worry What "Others" Think..........Just Carry On With Your Clearly Successful.....And Lovefilled Lives............AND...."TO HELL WITH THE REST".......



Cheers......And Best Wishes...To You...And Your "Better Half"...

Glen...

 

Thanks ya'll. I couldn't imagine having a better partner, many times he considers my needs ahead of his own. He has an identical twin brother (who is str8) who also treats me very well and checks up on me while he is gone to make sure I don't need anything. After having bad stressful relationships in the past, I know that I'm a lucky guy today for sure.