My Relationship with a Married Woman

Hi everyone.

I am here to tell you my story, but most importantly, I am seeking advice and opinions.

I will start by telling you a little about myself. I am 23 years old and live on the East coast. I was only ever in one relationship before and it was only for about a year when I was 18. I haven’t had sex in almost 5 years and have only ever been with one partner, my girlfriend at the time. I’ve been on a dozen dates with a few different girls over the past couple years but never started a relationship. I am a fairly attractive guy, I am just very laid back, shy, and not very ambitious when it comes to starting a relationship. I have a full-time job and a few friends. I keep busy and have a lot of hobbies. I’m athletic and am usually either out playing a sport, watching a sport, or messing around on the computer.

Anyway, two years ago I met a woman through an online video game. Her name is Brooke. She is 43 years old, lives on the West coast, married, and has a young daughter. The day I met her, she needed help with her account on the game and had to email me something for me to solve the problem for her. I helped her out and we went our separate ways. About three months later I forwarded some sort of comic to everyone in my address book and it went to her. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I didn’t even realize she was in my address book. She ended up writing me back a short email. I wrote her back. This went on and on for about a month, mostly talking about the game and random silly stuff.

Eventually we formed a friendship over email and the emails became a bit longer and more personal. Over time, honest flirting was added in. After about four months of short emails, maybe two per day on average, we eventually exchanged instant message screen names and began chatting through instant message for about a year. I learned that her and her husband grew apart a few years ago. The two main reasons were she caught him cheating on her, and also he would not give up smoking Marijuana when their daughter was born. She wants to get a divorce but thinks it would not be best for her daughter. I learned that she is lonely because she and her husband are no longer in love. She hasn’t had a sex life for a few years other than self pleasure.

Eventually one day we started to tell each other our fantasies and sex stories. I guess you would call it cyber sex, but it was more so just one of us taking turns on pleasing the other. I have always had a thing for older women sexually, so this was like a dream come true for me. We only talked about sex a few times over a couple months. Basically what I am saying is our relationship didn’t turn to strictly sexual talk, just every once in a while we would please each other. Eventually she suggested we try it over the phone. We traded nude pictures of each other a couple times. She is a very attractive woman. I masturbate to her pictures pretty often.

We probably had phone sex three or four times over a two-month period, with a few other calls in between just talking. She got a new job and I cut back on my computer use so eventually our instant messages turned to short text messages via cell phone throughout the day. The text messages have been going on for almost six months now, anywhere from five to 15 per day. We text each other goodnight and tell each other I love you. We have already talked about our relationship openly and both agreed it would obviously never work out much beyond where it is now, but we are both happy with it the way it is.

About three months ago I was invited to one of my old friend’s wedding. He is getting married out West. When I told Brooke, we both brought up the idea of us meeting. The wedding is about seven hours from where she lives. We worked out the details and are going to meet each other halfway. The wedding is in two weeks and I will be meeting her the following day. We are going to spend the day together, and the night at a hotel. Then we will unfortunately have to say goodbye in the morning so I can catch my flight home. We are both very excited to meet and we bring it up everyone once in a while.

In the back of my mind, my conscious sometimes tells me that I shouldn’t be doing this because she is married, but I truly believe there is nothing wrong with it because they have been “emotionally divorced” for a few years now. I guess some people will feel it doesn’t make it right, but I feel okay with it. I would love to hear people’s opinions on that. We made it clear that we will share a bed and obviously have sex and a lot of fun, but haven’t really talked much about plans outside of the hotel (which is okay by me... haha). We are meeting in a very boring city. I guess my vision of the experience is that I will check into the hotel early and have her meet me there. That way we can break the ice in private and such. Then we will probably go for lunch or dinner and spend most of the early evening in the hotel room. I guess you can say I am a bit nervous because I am not near as experienced as she is, however she knows my limited sexual past which makes it less nervous for me.

I would like to hear people’s opinions on me and Brooke’s relationship. Also I would very much appreciate some advice for when we meet. I am somewhat nervous, but we love each other, and know everything about each other so I think we will have a lot of fun once we break the ice. If you would like to talk to me in private and hear more juicy details, feel free to private message me your instant message name and I can probably chat with you there sometime.

Thanks for reading...

 

go with how you feel but also look at it in the best intrest of you and also the child.


How would the child feel
How would you feel around the child?
How would you feel being around a child that has a bio dad and a mom
the triangle family
Do you think it would work?
How does she feel about you?
Is she just talk
Did her hubby know about her flirting w/ you?
He was cheating but realistically she was too?
What would happen if something happened between u 2?
Be cautious around how you precieve things
Stuff like that
It may be a dream come true but theres so many other older women with lots of children with no men in their lives and NO BS and baggage.

 

Thanks for the reply fricknfrack. Her daughter knows of me a bit more than her husband only because I have played a video game with her a couple times and chatted with her on IM before (like while Brooke was with her). But she has no idea of the extent to me and her mom's relationship and has no idea that we are meeting. In short, the child will never know, so I am not worried about that.

 

I'm against cheating, but honestly if he was cheating too and they're apparently 'emotionally divorced', I don't see a huge problem with it. She needs something she isn't getting from her husband, emotional and physical. Maybe you can give that to her. But be careful. You know she isn't going to leave him, so don't delude yourself. Enjoy the experience, but don't forget it's temporary or you'll get hurt.

 

From experience (one of the worst of my life), just think it over a little more.

First of all, realize that you've allowed yourself to fall in love with a woman who has no integrity. If this broad had any class,she'd wait until she got divorced (or at least legally separated) before she hooked up with another guy. The fine lady has already said, “Till death do us part,” to some other poor dude. If her kids are important to her she'd be a positive role model instead of one of deceit and manipulation. A grown woman should know this. Look for a definitive choice if your heart is involved because love that involves you should be black and white. I mean what do you imagine she tells him about you to keep him under control, how you and she are "just friends." Don’t get into the messy situation of letting her have her cake and eat it too! Always remember that the whole time that you are dating this married women you are single.

She could be using you to forget her anguish over the discovery of her cheating husband or as a form of revenge, to get back at him. And you will end up being caught in the middle. Eh you might not even know if she is telling the truth about him cheating.

Remember, if she'll do it to him, she can do it to you.


Lost my train of thought but that's my $.02

 

If you really care for her, do it. But is she planning on EVER leaving him? what if you fall in love and she wont? what will that do to you?

gl, whatever happens.

 

Um, women often find themselves trapped in unfulfilling relationships. I think she should divorce him, because a sham of a marriage is not a good example for her daughter. But she thinks it's a better example than divorce, which, it seems to me, is why she stays with him, even if she may be suffering. It's silly, but perhaps she really thinks it's the best thing for her daughter, so she's putting her daughter's needs first. So that leaves a miserable woman. My issue with cheating is betrayal. But if they don't love each other anymore, isn't it possible he doesn't give a shit if she cheats, especially considering the fact that he doesn't give a shit if he cheats? This doesn't make her a bad person, it makes her a martyr. And I think it'll be good for her to finally have a good experience after all this time she's been miserable. She needs it. Doesn't she deserve to be a more fulfilled person? Or should she just lie in the bed she made? (Of course, I don't know her, this is just what I see in this scenario.)
My mom is one of these women. I wish she would divorce my dad. He's emotionally and mentally abusive. My mom used to be strong and independent. Now she's emotionally and mentally crippled because of him. But she won't divorce him because she believes it's a sin. So she suffers on because she believes it's right. I sure wish some truly good guy would come and seduce her away from him.

 

Thanks for all of the input and advice everyone.

Bonkai -

You bring up some good points. I know it is hard to believe that I can say 100% without a doubt that she is not that type of person and can say a lot of your suggestions about her are untrue. I know I have only known her for two years and it is long distance, but we have talked so much over the past couple years that I would be able to see through it if she was deceiving me or something like that. I truly believe without a doubt that everything I wrote about her is true, and that she is a wonderful and kind person.

Therese Aline & MaryJane69 -

"Just remember it is temporary" Yea, I know. I wish it wasn't, but we are both logical people and realize the relationship can't really advance anymore than where it is right now (or at least until she gets a divorce). We are both okay with that and have come to terms with it. I forgot to write this in my original post, but another reason she can't get really get a divorce yet is because of their financial situation. She was a homemaker when I met her and they were both in debt because her husband's company went through a very slow few years. It's not major debt and it's nothing she can't get out of. I mentioned in my post how she got a new job. She is hoping to be able to become more independent financially in the event of a divorce in the future. I wish she would get a divorce and our relationship would be able to start growing, but I haven't told her that. I feel that is not my place to suggest that. I've only known her two years so I figure I'll take it slow and if we both love each other enough, over time maybe things will work out. In the meantime, I continue to accept the boundaries and am still happy with our situation.

 

Well also look at it this way, how long has see been married? More than two years right, but she is cheating on her husband. I'm just trying to say that if she is deceiving her husband whom probably knows her better than you she can sure as hell deceive you. I just see this as a path for heart ache. if your lover was going to leave their partner they would have to leave for themselves and not for you. If they are going to do it for themselves it will be much sooner rather than later. You see, if she hasn't become single within 2-3 months she probably never will. I know I know just a little more time and things will be fantastic. They must leave not for you but for their own reasons. If they leave for you, you will be held silently accountable in future every time life is not perfect. Sorry if I'm being harsh just that these things rarely work out but if you truly have no doubts in your heart go for it, not all situations like this end bad.


my $.02

 

Thanks Bonkai

 

I say NO! Cheating is not right. She is still married with a child. Please think before you go through with this. You only know what she is telling you and you don't know the WHOLE story. If you have talk to her husband and got his side and everything she has told youis correct. You need to ask yourself several questions. Think about the child? How would you feel if you were her husband? (If He has not cheated on her.) She is just telling you all that stuff ,for you to feel sorry for her. Have more respect for yourself. This is all but a one night stand. You know she is not leaving her husband. But it is your desicion to make, you have to live with your choice.Knowing what you have done. We can only give you advice on not to do it or go for it?

 

You are on a "white knight" cloud thinking that you will whisk the poor deprived married woman into bed and make her forget all her sorrows. You have her for a night, the consequences last a lot longer. (There will be consequences, there always are.) What price are you willing to pay? Take a step back and think about what you are doing. What are your motivations? What do you get out of this? How will you feel afterwards?

The saying goes "be careful what you wish for because you just might get it"


p.s. Her husband is unlikely to be oblivious to what she has been doing and where she is going...just remember that.

 

Thanks, Asswoman and His Eden.

 

i am currrently in similar situation,but with a co-worker. i even posted a thread about it. I would do it, they are in fact emotionally divorced and that is close to the same thing. I am also attracted to older women, let me know how it goes, i will be interested to know how it turns out. best of luck!