How do you cope with defeat/loss/rejection?

Are you the slow crying type, or are you the quick exploding type? Maybe you're the silent type? I know, you're the guy who blames somebody, right?

So who do you become in the face of defeat/loss/rejection?

 

silent 85% of the time, quick exploding 13%, and 2% of the time i blame somebody

 

i take a defeat or loss and i take it as a challenge for me to get better/work harder to win. i don't like losing in general. i dont' like being rejected.

i've gone through the past couple years really complacent and didn't respond well. but in the past year or so, i've become more confident in who i am...and i strive to look defeat/loss in the face and fix what was wrong and learn from it/get better.

sometimes, someone else is to blame...but then i ask what could have precented that or got the other person to work harder, do more, etc...

 

After the New England Patriots lost in the super bowl, I took my official NFL Patriots cap and tossed it into the fireplace out of anger.



That’s what I call anger management



Hotwater

 

I keep quiet and don't think about it. Not really the best method, but it works. I rarely get visually upset, as in rage or extreme sadness. I have such severe ADD I forget about whatever is bothering me within a minute or two anyway, so it works out for the best. I usually don't care about it if I am recalling the event later, so things don't usually bother me too much.

 

Nobody is to blame for OUR failure. For a group failure, yeah. For personal failure...not so much in my eyes.

It's good that motivation is the main result of your downfalls though. Most people aren't familiar with how to put that (negative)created energy to positive things.

Twenty one is a lot more awkward of a time than I think people realize. By then you're supposed to be out of awkward teen shit, but it's time for awkward adult shit. Figuring out where growing up is necessary and when it's actually detremental to personal development. I'll think you'll find your self confidence in every day situations improving exponentially over the next year or so. The key is to keep it in balance.

 

It's ok, I was rooting for them but admonished myself heavily for not placing a fairly decent wager on the giants just because of odds alone.

And in the Seattle vs Pittsburgh superbowl, I lost enough money that I flipped out and went gorilla in my living room. :H

I'm a model of self control.

 

my senior year in high school, the soccer season was terrible. only won 1 game. i took it as a personal defeat, as captain of the team for performing so badly. it was our worst season since my freshman year.

 

I take it as a learning experience, nothing more.

 

I wouldn't know.

I never lose.

 

So am I, and btw I'm feeling much better now


Hotwater

 

i sit in a corner and write poems...

well not really... it depends on my overall outlook at the time... if i'm feeling gernally confident about life i handle it fairly well, bounce back and try to do better. if lots of things seem to be going badly i might get into a funk for a few days or longer... but i know that just makes things worse so i try not to let that happen.

in general though, i'm the silent type.

 

And somewhere along the line, as captain, you may very well be partially at fault. Was your team physically talented enough to win a number of the lost games?


Hyphy, for some of those with less self confidence, how are some of the ways you do that?

 

Should be. Buncha cheaters. :lol:

 

no, we weren't really all that talented aside from me and a couple others - even my co-captains weren't good this year...but i view that as a failure on my part to getting them more skillful.

i was captain my sophomore year when we made the state tournament - we had a pretty damn good team...

 

i'm the type that takes a while for it to sink it...
at first... i'm alright with it... then slowly, i realize that its really not going my way, and then i think about it a lot more, and the more i think about it... my eyes begin to water, and then i cry like crazy... and then mope around about it for a few weeks.... lol and takes months to forget about...

well, i'm describing a breakup.. lol.

 

I become this person in my head:

 

Physical talent can't really be tought. Moves, strategies, procedures all can be taught. Competence cannot. Besides, you could only make them try to get better at a structured practice. Them not taking the cue from losing so many games that they needed more practicing is something that will probably plague them for life. Those are the same people that lose day in and day out in life, and still don't "practice" any longer or harder.

I'm going with the ruling that this was NOT an example of personal defeat, but instead a trial of character. If you went full throttle at all times, you passed that trial, but if the losses piling up had you playing half tempo at the end of the season, then perhaps it was, in fact, a personal defeat.

 

I get pissed off and make fun of who ever beat me and say they cheated.

 

i played all out, each game. i didn't want to set a bad example. even with all the loses, i still was awarded an all-league all-star award by the coaches, my 2nd all star award.

you're settign my head straight tonight man - thanks