my boyfriends weird questions... LMAO!!

thought I'd share these.. Mike was apparently bored lol.. but they are funny as hell...


*If the #2 pencil is the most popular why is it still #2?

**If corn oil comes from corn, what does baby oil come from?

*What do people in china call their good plates?

*If a turtle loses its shell is it homeless or naked?

*Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

*If the universe is everything and scientists believe it's expanding, what is it expanding into?

*Do fish get cramps after they eat?

*If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?

*If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

*How can you hear yourself think?

*if one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest have to drown too?

*who's cruel idea was it to have the word "lisp" have a S in it?

*why doesn't tarzan ever have a beard?

*If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

*could it be true that all trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but going as mattresses?

*why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

*if you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

*if someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?

*when sign makers go on strike do they have anything written on their picket signs?

*what do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

*if the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

*how do they get deer to cross at the yellow road sign?

*what was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

*what did "cured" ham actually have?

*if a cat always lands on its feet and buttered bread always lands butter side down what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

*how important does a person have to be assassinated instead of murdered?

*why do people go to the top of tall buildings and put money in binoculars to look at stuff on the ground?

*if man evolved from monkeys and apes why are there still monkeys and apes?

*what do chickens think we taste like?

*could you imagine a world without hypothetical situations?

*what would cheese say if he got his picture taken?

*what would happen if you put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room?

*if jimmy cracks corn and no one cares why is there a song about him?

*why is an elevator still called an elevator when its going down?

*if a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

 

That's more encyclopedic than funny. Ok, that was mean.


Everybody's in a bad mood today. Or almost.

 

i've gotten those in too many emails to attribute them to your boyfriend unless he's got copywrite evidence that he made them up.

 

yeah..

 

So you guys actually READ those motherfuckers?

 

loads of times. they make me happy.

 

quite possibly the funniest stuff i've heard in awhile!!

 

true.. but I haven't heard most of them and he sat there writing them all down.. I personally think most of them are hilarious..

 

i mean, whats up with u people? who cares if her boyfriend made them up or not! they are funny!!

 

Everyone hates a literalist.

It's a measure of the fineness of the pencil.

It's expanding into space. Space is infinite. The matter of the universe is finite and is expanding slowly into nothingness.

People didn't evolve from monkeys and apes. Hominids and Apes evolved from similar ancestors. They evolved into different species because of different ancestors 50 million years ago, different breeding patterns, different diets, different needs for growth and change.

Also many species don't change for hundreds of millions of years, such as crocodiles.


[/QUOTE]

 

i like them Green!

 

Everyone hates a literalist.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Green_Goddess
*If the #2 pencil is the most popular why is it still #2?

It's a measure of the fineness of the pencil.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Green_Goddess
*If the universe is everything and scientists believe it's expanding, what is it expanding into?

It's expanding into space. Space is infinite. The matter of the universe is finite and is expanding slowly into nothingness.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Green_Goddess
*if man evolved from monkeys and apes why are there still monkeys and apes?


People didn't evolve from monkeys and apes. Hominids and Apes evolved from similar ancestors. They evolved into different species because of different ancestors 50 million years ago, different breeding patterns, different diets, different needs for growth and change.

Also many species don't change for hundreds of millions of years, such as crocodiles.


[/QUOTE]


okie dokie you just want to go all out and take the fun out of them don't ya? lol

 

That was the plan, yes.

 

lol.. do you feel better now?

 

A little bit. Thanks.

 

lol I'm glad to hear that..

 

lode, they're retorical questions, ur not accually supposed to answer them, they're JOKES!!
y must people kill things that give people joy?
that one u can answer!

 

lol... you're awesome dude..

 

i've had my humor shot down so many times, i hate to see it happen to others

 

You notice how I put 'everyone hates a literalist' before I answered them. My response was a joke too tiger.