I was wondering if i could get some input (adults only).. I have 2 step daughters, whom i call my own. My hubby and I set up some rules. Whats a better way to say routine, structure, rules, every day things in a fun way without the kids not wanting to do it. We had 12 rules than it was 6 than it was 3. Still the 11 y/o thinks well i was 8 i had a routine and i shouldnt anymore but why i'm not a baby. Whats a fun way to make it exciting for girls?? We brought them shopping and came home and they were so i can't even think of the word. mouthy lippy would really appreciate feeback thanks in advance
Ick! Sticky question! I really don't see anyway out of calling them what they are: chores. Chores suck for kids. You could always remind them that they are basically unemployed and homeless, so they'd better do what you say. ^_^
The girls sound like they are old enough to understand the concept of an allowance, or some kind of positive reinforcement for their good behavior, as well as denial of such things for their inappropriate behavior. For example, my parents were fairly lax in discipline as I got older as long as I did what I said I would do. We came up with a "family plan" kind of thing....we all sat down, looked at the list of chores in the home and came up with the way they were divided as a family. My parents didn't just say,"Hey these are your chores, live with it." They said, "This is what needs to be done for the household to run. What would you like to do to make that happen?" They also had to live up to their end of the bargain as well. We also had to do homework, and the chores we had chosen for ourselves, before we had any kind of free time after school, or any kind of reward for having done a good job on them. If we didn't do them, the consequence was not getting that free time, or the reward, and the removal of a privilege until the chores resumed, such as school dances, weekend parties, that kind of thing. I don't really know much about the particular situation except that it sounds like the girls have gotten to an age where they are feeling more rebellious to what you are asking of them, and appear, from the way you said they were acting after shopping, unappreciative of what you do in the household. It is common, but needs to be dealt with. If the shopping trip was for luxuries for them, how about taking the items back? And let them know the reason for the return of them, and that when they can be appreciative of the things you do for them, and buy for them, then they can have those luxuries purchased for them. I don't know if that is an option, or if you can have them do extra things to earn the money for their luxuries to help them learn how hard it is to get them? I am just not entirely sure.... I hope something in there was of some help to you.
it was. thx . i'm their "wicked " step mother. HAHA not really. I just see things as taken for granted. When we made this list, Man oh man it sounded like a zoo in here. "But NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, But WHY?????, Your so mean, I HATE that!!!! Your making us do that , all we ask is for their rooms to be tidy dishes away showered games in proper place computer time limited. 1 at a time unless told to. simple BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! who cares shut up so, and whatever i care for what reason? man oh man. There are consequences put in place , i have no authority over that , my hubby does. It is working . And i just wanted to know . Is there any type of fun way to do chores. Chores for adults you can crank the tunes to, but children its different. i'm stumped.
Give them the option of having the music of their choice on while they tidy their rooms, or put the dishes away, maybe that will help them, the way it does for us old farts If you can stand it that is. And if you and dad are partners, why should you not have a say about the consequences, or the enforcement of them at the very least? Or did I misunderstand what you said? I am glad they are working though. Maybe try some kind of immediate reinforcement for them if they do their chores well during the day, maybe an extension of a half hour or so on the computer, or games? Something that they enjoy, that can be taken advantage of immediately if they do as they should. Anyway, I am glad I was able to help in some way Good luck, and Blessings.
What about playing a timer game with the chores? Each kid races to get their chores done as fast (and thoroughly) as they can, you time them, and the time is recorded. Then they get to see who finished first. Or you can have them beat their best time. Give some extra privilege or little treat or something as a reward. Or you could do 15 minutes chores for everyone, everyone stops, dance in the living room together for 5 minutes, then do another 15 minutes of chores until everyone is done.
Give rewards for good behavior and take things away for the "BUT I DON'T WANNA"s. Nothing hurt my feelings more than losing a favorite CD or something like that when I didn't do what I was told. For a reward: Maybe a movie night....you take them to the theater or something. A sleepover. Depending upon age and what they're into.
i am not a mom, so i cannot tell you things from raising a child, but i know when i was a girl i hated "chores". If my parents focused on the part that it helped out the house hold and i was making life better for everybody than i would do them. and bribing me ALWAYS worked. and i might've just been a difficult child, but if they took something important away from me (seeing my horse for example), i would refuse to do it because i was so pissed off. I would not do it nomatter how much they took away. punishment always striked a stubborn streak in me. Hope you have it easier than my parents did. haha. best of luck to you and your family
