Can't stand my mom

Okay, heres the deal. I am 19 years old and I go to college 12 hours a week, with a 3.25 gpa, and also work part time 25-30 hours a week at blockbuster. Most nights I close and get home at anytime between 11:30-1. I do not close on the nights I have school, which I only go MWF.

Now I have trouble sleeping and sometimes get to bed between 2-4 am. Mostly it is around 3, and on school nights about 12:30.

My mom keeps accusing me of doing drugs for the past 3-5 weeks, and she has even gone as far as saying that I was on speed. I don't even know what speed looks like, and I wouldn't want to do it. I quit smoking pot 1 1/2 ago.

I don't know what to do, I can't stand my parents, especially my mom anymore.

She keeps asking me to come clean on what is wrong with me, and she keeps saying that I'm acting different. The bottom line is I am not doing any drugs at all, and I only drink from time to time.

I don't really know what to do because everytime I tell her the truth, that I am not doing any drugs, she thinks I'm lying and keeps prying and saying I am on drugs.

What should I do? I feel like I am about to explode. I can't really move out because I can't afford college and an apartment.

If she keeps doing this I feel like I am just going to pack my things and just drive west for as long as I can. The thing is I don't want to because I do have goals for after college.

What should I do?

 

if she doesnt believe you, tell her to give u a drug test. she sounds like she just likes to nag. just ignore her and get ur shit done so you can move out asap. wow thats weird, a kid who actually isnt doing "bad" shit and isnt believed. its ironic.

 

Ok, well i told her I would take a drug test, then she accused me of being gay. I know I am not gay, it just bothers me that my parents think I am. Even when I told her I wasn't she said she would think of me as the same. I have had a few dates but nothing serious.

Last girl i met was at the beach but my parents don't know about that.

I think I may just drive west, and find a job somewhere in cali.

 

What a bitch! Like being gay is even a bad thing.

 

Though I am not(not that its a bad thing). It's like everything I tell her she doesn't believe. I don't know how to communicate with her. She also says I have communication problems but I get along fine with everyone I work with.

 

Your mom sounds crazy! Is she going through menopause?

 

i don't know, she is 54 though, so possibly

 

Go west young man.

I mean, if you want to.

 

I may, I just may. But how should I try and handle this situation. So if all else fails I may just go west. I would like to be a screenwriter, hopefully that will work out. I kind of wanted to get in a bit of schooling before heading west, and to save as much money as possible.

Any suggestions on how to handle this?

edit: thanks for your quick replys wanderingsoul, if i head west i guess i will to be a wanderingsoul

 

I don't have much advice, except for to try talking to her. But what you've said makes me think she's too unreasonable. Maybe ask her why she doesn't trust you.
A screenwriter, that's neat! Do you write?
Me too!

 

a little bit...just writing plot ideas atm and reading scripts

 

Cool. I've just written the one script, but I want to write more. I'm working on various novels atm, most I've been working on for a few years.

 

it looks like no matter what you do or say is gonna satisfy her. something is bothering her and she is just pawning it off on you as an excuse to not face what she is going through, Or she's just a straight up bitch, possibly both. cant you just avoid her as much as possible? I avoided my mom the last two years I lived with her, and that was in a one bedroom house! it is doable. good luck man.

 

I will try that Hilder, i really want to finish some classes, mainly get up ther to the english 300s and save as much money as I can. I don't want to head west just yet because I am just making friends up here.

I haven't been living in cinnci area that long. On top of all this shit shes giving me, my good friends mom just died last sunday, and my other good friends best friend died last tuesday.

Bad shit keeps falling on me or around me, as in what my friends are going through also.

 

sweety, she just cares about you. i know it sucks, and i used to hate when my parents nagged me, i still do, but they (usually) only do it because they care. It sounds like she is just worried about you. She gave birth to you, and has lived with you for many many years. Is there something wrong? Its possible, you are having trouble sleeping, that's never a good thing. I'm not saying you are doing something wrong, simply reflect on it, and make sure she is not just in her acts before you get on the defense about it.

My mother was the queen of nagging, and i always pitched a fit with her. She died the summer before i was to go into high school. It took her death to show me that she was one of the most amazing people, and nagging was just a small negative point, not something you should focus on.

Try not to think of things as "bad" i know its hard, but it helps. It was their time to leave this earth, and i'm sure they would not want you to be feeling badly about it. Try to rejoice in the life they had instead of mourning over the loss.

I hope some of my advice helps, i say it from the heart, and know from personal experience

 

Make up some crazy shit.. And have your mom put in a mental hospital for a Section 302,,302 is the part of the Act relating to treatment without consent for observed behavior constituting a clear and present danger to the individual and/or others. The behavior must have occurred in the past 30 days. Under Section 302(a) any responsible party can petition for an involuntary evaluation by stating that an individual may be severely mentally disabled. May differ in your state...
If her/their behavior becomes eratic the law works in both ways...Whos to say who is sane anymore.. But it is her house and her rules.. But sometimes a prince must become a king.. Hard to say without offending someone but if your mom needs you around and you vice versa.. You may both need some counseling with a neutral medium..

 

hmm i wouldnt just pack up and move west right now although that sounds tempting

your in school and need to be able to finish that so you can be what you want to be in this world or at least i think you said you were staying for the school

but yea i dono sometimes when there is something going on we can use defence mechanisms and maybe shes really struggling right now

it sounds like you have always had a bit of a bumpy relationship with her but it might be good to sit her down and tell her that you stopped smoking and although you like girls and you recently met one your just not into anyone seriously right now

and you seem really responsible being able to handle college with that gpa and a job so good job but yea i dono i bet your mom has something going on and my advice is just to be patient and try your best
maybe she needs to tell you something about herself
and if it becomes unhealthy id say when your done with school hit the road jack
keep us posted please

 

I wonder what would happen if you just answered her charges or questions with--"so"?EG:You're gay.--So? You're on drugs.--So?Or you could use that magic word that makes people give the reasons they are asking/behaving the way they are---WHY?Why do you ask?,is always a way to find out peoples motivations.Then ,nothing will be hidden and you can deal with your moms answers and sort it all out in,hopefully, a rational manner.Good luck.

 

this is a power play. your mother knows she is one up and your one down; to put it another, way she knows she has the upper hand over you (my house, my rules. i pay the bills around here. etc.) she knows you don't have the means to support yourself, therefore she is fucking with you. this is all about domination and control. in busniess adminstration colleges and military colleges they call it "command and control." in my field we call it "behavior modification" or "behaviorism." thats the offical names for it. the unoffical name we have for it is "mind fucking." i have no ideal what is going on in your mothers' head at a "deep level." it seem like she has a major personality disorder; i can't tell you more then that. she would need to see someone in the helping profession, like a psychologist for evalution. nagging is bullying. it has nothing whatever to do with caring/love! it is one form of psychological abuse, that fit into a cluster of psychological abuse called gaslighting. since you work at blockbuster you have a wide open door there to what in "pop psychology" is called "self help." we call it "cinema-therapy." there are several good movies that deal with your situation. the best two (2) for you to see are: "what love got to do with it?" that one deals with domination and control. the other one is: "gaslight." that one deals with negative psychological manipulation. (which is what your mother is doing to you!) there are some good books that deal with this stuff too, but since you work at blockbuster you can get and use these movies for free. if blockbuster does not have them (which i very strongly doubt!) you can get them at the library. if your local library does not have them, ask them about inter-library loan. that will get the movies for you. as you know, your in a very bad place; these two movies will help you understand what your dealing with and help you start to get your feet on the ground!

 

haha i would just tell her my gay bf gave me drugs wanna try some. HAHA just kidding man.

My mother is very very unmotherly. doesn't wawnt to have anything to do with , talk to me, and if she does she argues with me OR yells at me . THAN blames it on me and tells me i'm the one with communication problems.

on that note i had 5 councellors tell me it was all her fault and 1 that said i was a mouthy kid

wonder why?
hmm

Fact of the matter is YOU want to be who YOU want to be whether your a drug abuser (which you stated you aren't) or your gay (which you aren't)
Be commfy. live life!!
Mom is just probably very unsatisfied with how she missed out on a part of life your living.

I know personally that since i have Cerebral Palsy (weakness on R or L side of body) my mom stated you can't do this this this this this or that. i said oh ya watch me . Don't tell me what i can and cannot do till your in my shoes. point i'm trying to make is my mom was trying to look out for me , but at the same time it came across harsh. What she stated to me i couldn't do i'm doing. I know she feels bad for telling me i wouldn't be able to work, have kids, go to college, and blah blah blah.
Now if that means you have to distance yourself DO THAT!! Show your mom your owning up to your responsibility and your not letting her walk all over you!!

Make sure damn sure that you don't marry a woman like your mom!! she'll be very pissed that shes the exact opposite!! HAHAHA