hey boys and girls it's been so long since i've visited, but lately i've been seriously plagued with thoughts to chop. Now, i'm not here to be convinced otherwise, i'm just here to kind of express my reasons to other dreadies and maybe to kind of get some advice so i can better organize my thoughts on the whole thing. I've had mine since Feb of last year....now many MANY things have changed in my life, and i feel like these dreads are a representation of a time in my life that are just not who i want to be any more. I did them for right and wrong reasons and these days i truly am just not feeling content with them. I don't nurture them like i should be, and i don't show them off like i anticipated. Though there are many things i like about my dreads....like not having to do ANYTHING with them EVER, easy get ready times in the am, etc etc....i just don't feel like they are right for me right now. Lots of my dready friends keep telling me that this is just a big hump i need to work past and i've taken that into consideration, but i'm also thinking about who i am now, who i was when i dreaded and how much i am connecting back with the person i used to be before i took the plunge. I just don't feel like they are reflecting what i feel inside anymore. I feel like i've made my statement (to both myself and those around me) and i am ready to go back to the way i used to be. I really thought i'd see the day where they were long and strong and beautiful, but right now i just don't think it's in the cards. any thoughts or comments from those who have cut, or those who have gotten over the hump would be nice.....anything really.....i'm just kinda sitting on the fence right now and i have been for far too long. I need to make a decision to either push on, or take down.
hm... it's a tough decision letting go of your locks. I for one think you are incredibly beautiful, and as far as the aesthetics go you'd be gorgeous no matter what sort of hair you had. as for the spiritual/emotional... well, ultimately you're the one who has to decide. you're sitting on the fence-- what condition is the fence in? if it's a mess beyond compare, then I'd jump off. if it's capable of being fixed, and worth fixing, then go for it. but don't let a decision like this get too stressful. I wish you clarity and peace
im sad to hear youre struggling with this. i would of course be very sad if you cut, but i can understand where youre coming from. with my first set of dreads, when i made them i was a different person. while my personal change happened slowly, the decision to cut was totaly random and impulsive. i was sitting by myself on a lakeshore with my feet in the water and i felt so happy and content, something i hadnt felt for awhile, and i realized that i was more myself than i had ever been (reasons are long and complicated). unfortunatly, my dreads didnt share the energy, all that hair was from before and i wanted to start over. so went and got some (very dull) scissors, made sure i was alone, and hacked them off very awkwardly. the short hair felt so amazing and free. i have confidence in the dreads i have now though. i can see them growing for many years because they are an accurate representation of me. sure theres confusion in my life and i may be in a totaly different place in a year, but i know that as long as ive had these dreads, ive been true to myself. anyway, thats my dread cutting story lol i dont know if that will help. just do what you think is right lucy. if you are too attached to let them go right now, then see if this urge will pass, but i sort of doubt it will. if you think of your dreads with negative energy, maybe its time to let them go. i started again and it feels so much better, so you can too. but if you do say goodbye, you better grow a new set right away and actually post here to show the progress lol
wow sweety, i would hate hate hate to see you cut em, i cut mine once for the wrong reasons and was traumatized by it..lol but there are real reasons to do it, a period of mourning or intence life change, all your past experiences are locked in your hair and cutting them can be freeing from negative past influences but carrying them with you can be a continual reminder of lessons you talked about thinking that one day you'd have them long strong and beautiful..i bet even invissioned it in your mind, and you also said you feel like you made your statement to yourself and others but now are reconnecting back to who tyou were before taking the plunge what that says to me is that your moving beyond the statement stage, no longer having to show yourself or anyoner else but your questioning if the you you wrre (and that you never changed , only grew)is ready to continue the journey, without a message, without anything to prove will cutting them somehow return you to a simpler time? i dont know all your reasons foer wanting to cut, and i feel some you havent said here..but if youd like to talk you know i'm always here wont pressure ya either way (but might shed a tear if you do go that way)
How were you before your dreads, was it a positive or negative way of being? Why do you feel you need to revert to how you used to be? I just found that line interesting... I hope whatever decision you make is the right one for you
Here's something to consider - you are not your hair. While hair can become an important symbol, representing a myriad of different things the base line is that any meaning or connotation you give to your locks is truly nothing more than what your mind makes it. Hair is hair. Anything deeper than that is an illusion. Sometimes symbols are great and powerful tools but we shouldn't get trapped by them or the paradigm that created them. Perhaps it may make it easier to decide if you look at your hair without the illusion.
I'm not sure how old yours are but I went through a rough period where I was strongly considering cutting at about the one year point as I felt my connection with them was lost. After much deliberation I finally decided to keep them and I'm glad I did. Everyday my hair becomes more and more part of me and I would never consider cutting at this point in my life. The decision is yours and whatever choice you make will eventually be the right one. Good luck and if you do cut post some before and afters!
okay- i went through the same thing you did , it sounds like. I decided to brush them out , but it took about a week.... afterward... i felt even more empty and confused than i had before- and i was getting lost in mixed feelings... for dreads, for my life, for who i was and who (i thought) i could never -sadly- be again. now, i am straight-haired, and back to life as it was- except i hate it. I would strongly STRONGLY advise you to wait at least a few weeks or a month before making a complete decision. You should really be honest with your self and ask, "why do i want to chop"- and more importantly- "why did i get these in the first place?" remember, if a reason is that they arent quite as great as you expected, or perhaps a bit overwhelming, maybe cutting would be better. it sounds to me like you should think about cutting, then if you do, see how you feel. starting again may be just what you need. I hope that you make a decision you are comfy with, and find inner peace.
a couple months ago i thought about cutting mine almost everyday... and mine are just over 3 years old. currently i think im over it but occasionally the thought still crosses my mind. I would love to start fresh someday, but i think I will wait for a major life change. also, i dyed my hair... which was a stupid thing to do, so i would like to start fresh away from that as well. in time.... by the way ms. alex... i would love to see a photo of your locks now, if you wouldnt mind sharing, its been awhile are you ok with life? are you still in van? i hope all is well in lucy land
You sound a little too serious to me. You aren't your dreads, nor your dreads you. They hold no attatchments other than that to your head. If you feel that you are anxious over your attatchment to your hair, let it go. Cut it off, or leave it they way it is, you will still remain.
Everyone's already made some really excellent points... I just wanted to add my thoughts on the whole "who I am now/who I was when I dreaded/before I dreaded" thing. While, like anyone here probably, I do occasionally have a fleeting thought of cutting, that "who I am" question is what once, long ago, stopped me from any serious consideration of cutting my locks. Because it's so easy for us to mistakenly equate outward appearances with WHO WE ARE... because by doing this it's so easy for us to "be someone we're not"... because for me, my locks don't symbolize who I was at a moment in time - instead they serve me as a reminder of who I always have been and always will be. They are a constant reminder of my connection with the Earth, with the spiritual, with time and with the universe around me. Sometimes it's easy to become overwhelmed by all that, which is where those fleeting moments come from for me. But, for me at least, the value of that reminder always outweighs whatever advantages I percieve would accompany a cut. That reminder helps me to stay humble, giving and caring. It helps me to live simply and to appreciate the things I have. That might sound a little crazy to any of you, who think of dreadies as just a hairstyle. For me it really is so much more...
wanderin blues, i wanted to thank you for your post I feel like you understand my reasoning 100%. I feel that so many people don't really pay much attention to the energy that is stored into our locks and how it has a heavy influence on our daily lives. I adored what you said: "i realized that i was more myself than i had ever been (reasons are long and complicated). unfortunatly, my dreads didnt share the energy, all that hair was from before and i wanted to start over." and that is exactly it. When i dreaded last year, i did for reasons that were almost more influenced by some sort of angst and need to break free from the oppressive environment i felt i was being locked into. So i feel like my locks are holding on to this anxious & depressing energy and not the natural & humbling energy that i wanted them to carry. I always said i would dread my hair once i had children. To me dreading at this time would be a beautiful way to connect myself as a woman and a human being to the earth. By giving birth to a child and this particular hairstyle that would be natural and carefree...allowing me time and energy to focus on my family....and thus storing that energy in my hair. That probably sounds cheesy, or doesnt even make sense at all (it's early here haha) but i've just always felt the two went hand in hand. I think i am ultimately concluding that a cut is in order. I am going to spend the next few months growing them out (as i am travelling to europe for 3 months, it will be rather convenient to have dreads rather than fussing with hair i know i will be freaking over....short wavy hair! im so scared! haha)
lucy i totaly understand now your reasonings i am glad that your waitting 3 months too though and not deciding too quickly (who knows maybe you'll get pregnant in europe and be ready to start over fairly soon )
I chopped my dreads off a long time ago and really regretted it afterwards.. put some deep thought into before taking the scissors to it. But either way I sure you'll make the right decision
