tell me what it needs

5:30 in tthe morning and all of a sudden this springs into my head
rrrepeated constenant indicate rolly tounge rather than a stutter
reapeted vowel is a hold

so just bbbrush me asiiide
if i dint tick all of
your pprescious little boxs

dooo i have to abiiiide?
or can i carry on
committing my crimes

so tell me wwhat is the tiiime?
my faded spectrum doesnt
hold to the line

the bitter bitter taste in my miind
i choke and stumble in my haste to get by



it needs something to break it up i think

 

hmmm i like how you have a definite style thats good!

 

thank you very much

it sounds immature and ridiculous but im basing my future on my lyrical ability

 

It's not immature and ridiculous, I like it a lot.

 

of course its immature and ridiculous
i wouldnt have it any other way
thank again for your poem