I think I'm gay. However, never really started out like it, mind you, I never was 'interested' with girls as a girlfriend, apart from childish fantasies. I always wondered why, and then there was this starting line video which I watched, then develouped a crush on the lead singer. Since then, I've been really confused. I haven't come out properly, Just to one of my friends in one group and 3-4 in another. I also told my mum after a severe bout of depression. All of them took it really well, and I am lucky. I feel gay, however, I still get aroused by females, even though I would never want a girlfriend/wife. I was wondering if this is normal, from a transition, or my body doesn't agree with my head. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, or has had the same expericence, help would be appreciated. Oh, and one other thing, one of my friends since about 5 years ago is a bit scared of homosexuality, he isn't a 'queerbasher' he just is (in his words) 'Revolted' by the idea of homosexuality.
My best guess for you would be that you are not really confused.. your acting on learned instinct. You know that you are not really intrested in being with a woman but your aroused by them sexually.. that to me says that your mind is the part that is arguing with your emotions and body. All your life you have been told that men are attracted to women so your mind is telling your body to be attracted even though your not really intrested, it is similar to learning to walk or knowing to run for the bathroom when you feel you just have to go. Its not something that your body would normally do... because those are not things that are learned over time and in the end become just a part of your life that you learn to accept as how it is. I think that if you can find yourself someone who you can express yourself completely with then you will start to find out more of who you are.
It's totally normal - sexuality is very rarely absolute, most people are somewhere in the middle, there are very few who are 100% gay or 100% straight. There are many different dimensions to attraction: you can be physically attracted to someone or more generally to members of one sex, and you can be emotionally or romantically attracted. And probably other types or degrees of attraction. It's very complicated, but basically I would say that you are (like me) physically/aesthetically attracted to some degree by members of both sexes but romantically/emotionally attracted more to men. I've personally found that as I've become more open to my romantic/emotional attraction to other guys that I've been able to get so much more pleasure out of the physical side of that attraction that, although I can still say whether or not I find a particular female attractive, and occasionally still look at straight porn, I get a lot less pleasure out of it. Think yourself lucky that you're beginning to figure this out at a relatively young age - it took me until I was 23 to even begin to work all this stuff out!
Hey trid3nt, I think these guys have pretty well touched on whats going on for you. Heres what I see, you're 16, you're cooking with testostrone and other hormones, your world is expanding as you are growing older, and societal norms are conflicting with the core of who you are becoming. So, if you ain't confused, it's because you ain't paying attention. Relax a bit with whats happening to you. You're on the right track by asking for information here. Read up some on sexuality...what gay, bi, straight means...or doesn't mean. There is no time line for you to figure this out, you don't have to hurry. See if yoou can find some other gay/bi guys and talk to them. And use this forum all you can...thats what its here for. Good luck and have fun becoming you. Steve
good words everyone. I think I can sort of relate to what your going through, except for that I'm sure I'm gay. I have been turned on by women, and although now and then I can imagine having sexual contact with them, I notice there's never kissing. The thought of kissing girls isn't really gross but unfavorable. Also, my images are blurry and not at all vivid and lacking progression. And depending on the girl, I can imagine being emotionally and romantically with them. But that gets old. I am very turned on my men. I have vivid sexual fantasies that lasts awhile and includes kissing. I can also imagine myself with them emotionally and romantically. So I've come to the conclusion that I'm gay, especially since 99% of my thoughts about being with someone(sexual or otherwise) are always with guys. so only one percent of the time do I have those thoughts about girls.
Well put Drew, I think you nailed it. It's where your emtions and fantasies are, who you dream(daydream) about. It's who you want to hold you when you need held...not to mention who has the cutest little bubble butt and a sweet grin.
Thanks a lot everyone. Pretty much what everyone is saying I can relate to or understand, so this is all a great help. One other thing, about the friend, should I tell him, or should I keep it a secret. My main problem is that he has abs of steel, and has all the classic stereotypes of a 'hunk', including the homophobia. I don't want to do anything with him, but I still want to be friends with him, and this can really depress me at times
Ohhh, you do mean bitch do you? That makes all the difference.. You clearly have something wrong with you. Go and see a doctor and get your brain fixed. You can't even come out with a half decent insult, let alone a reasoned argument. You are pathetic and you fucking know it.
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