I was driving my daughter to school today, which I do everyday. She tells me "dad, do you know what I think about when I get upset or angry" I am like "what?" and she says that is very comforting and hilarious to know that everyone in the world farts. She says she just thinks about different people and imagining them ripping a big one in private and smelling it and liking it. Then as we were pulling into the school she starts pointing all the people..look at that guy..he farts..and her..she farts...we were both rolling.
That's flipping hilarious. How old is she?? She sounds like a riot. Like someone I would have had as a friend in high school.
That is true. But it should be against the rules for people to fart in elevators. OR for guys to lock the windows before letting one rip, and sitting on someone while they fart.
bwahahah the other week, I was on the way down in the elevator, going home from work. I was solo, so I let one rip. didn't consider the consequences, although I quickly realized what I'd done. so I arrive at the ground floor, leave the elevator, and this chick walks right past me and slips into the elevator deathtrap. hahaha
I took the elevator once at school.....I now take the stairs. The guy in the elevator thought it was the funniest thing.
That reminds me of an incident that happened to me a few years back: I was once followed around downtown by a bum yelling "Yeah!? You ALL FART!" and he was going on and on about how everyone farts. He was very angry about it and he kept pointing at everyone walking by and saying they fart. I gave him some money and he threw it back at me and kept following me. I couldn't stop laughing at him, which made him angrier. I guess that guy followed the same procedure when he got angry.
A joke a friend just sent me. FART FOOTBALL An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football.." A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score." After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7" Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits in the bed. The wife says, "What the hell was that?" The old man says, "Half time, switch sides"
thats so funny im am gunna use that technique from now on. it sounds like it works. ooh and the fart football... too funny. i love it.
