I will never eat M&Ms the same again.

Survival Of The Fittest


Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/tpa/409930561.html

 

I can get M&M's if I bother them at work? I am so there!

 

Wow. This might be the greatest idea thingy I've ever fucking heard.

 

You get free stuff almost any time you write to a corporate office.

That is an awesome story though. I like it.

 

i love you. this has to be one of my favorite threads since ive been a member.

 

Is strength in an M&M an inherent characteristic or is it trained? They probably have M&M boot camps for the little softies and make them hard.

 

Definitely genetic!

I am going to become a champion M&M breeder!

 

i think it has something to due with the food coloring and whats different about each. the shell has to have the coloring in it which can account for the reds being weaker because the atoms in the red, are probably more spaced out thus making a weaker crust. its just a guess...\


a bad guess anyway. you said red is one of the tougher ones...

 

I love you.

 

Ahhhh

I wonder if it will work with Skittles?

 

Blue Cat

 

That is possibly the most amazing thing I have personally ever read on any internet site. I really want to see the reply they sent you. You must post a picture of the True Champion, so we can bow before it's mighty coco power.