Hey, for the past year I have been pretty depressed and pretty hateful of my self. I lost a lot, and I mean a lot of freinds, and I pretty much lost all happyness. I dont think I have been happy for the past year. Me and my mom went to the therapy...that totally didnt work, and I dont want to do depression pills, becuase I heard they make a worse imbalance.. Ive been thinking about ending my life, but I know I would never go through it. I'm doing my first year of College and things have gotten so bad. Ive failed most of my classes first semester, lost a fuckin high high paying job/internship position, im on academic probation, I dont have freinds, I dont have myself, I dont have love or happyness, Im on Dorm probation, people hate me, I hate myself. I got so many fucking problems, I cant even be with my self, I cant even interact with people. Ive been tryin to do things better this 2nd semester..My school and academic life is better, Im doing all work...doing good on quizes, etc. I stopped heavy use of alchole and I stoped smoking cigs. I used to get drunk every day for a good time, I stoped basically. But like...everyday, I get fuckin rage outbursts..I get crazy ass depression shit where I just fucking cry and Im sad for no reason... How am I supposed to like myself? I feel like everyone is better then me, everyone is having sex but me, everyone has a girl freind but me, everyone is happyer then me, everyone is just living life while im a pile of shit rotting... Man these feelings suck ass...Im In these dorms, and everyone is like bursting with laughter, happiness, everyone enjoying life like crazy.. I feel Soo hopeless... Ive been thinking of starting to use Heroin as an escape, but thats just bad for the body I heard...I dont know Fuck, I dont know what to fuckin do, I need some guidance and some help.. is someone out there??
if you have depression it would be better to shoot yourself now then to start heroin, the result would be the same. If you care about your life there are better things that you can do to help yourself to make life better. firstly:- 1. Colleges have councilors they are not the best but its a place to start. 2. See a doctor about getting yourself on some sort of medication, sometimes just the thought of help is enough to help you pull though. you sound like that you are on the end of your tether, there is no reason to let go of the rope when there is help available and you will get better as long as you seek help.
i should read this things though first. The medication do have side effects but you tell me whats better, a few side effects or death. i think a few side effects is worth it for a life worth living.
You say this all came about within the last year, right? Before then have you had any bouts of depression? Did something happen with the last year that made you feel this way? The reason I am asking is because in the beginning of your post you said "for the past year" which leads me to assume that this depression you are in is something new for you, or if it isn't just has gotten worse within the year. Could it be due to you starting college, did you move away to attend college, like away from your friends and family? I guess I'm just trying to figure out if depression has always been apart of your life, or something that recently started. I will mention this now before I forget, you should not self-medicate with drugs or alcohol, it will make things much, much worse and then you will have that issue to deal with. It will also increase your feelings and thoughts about ending your life, and drag you further and further into a self-hating depression. I guess to answer this more fully and better, I would like to know when your depression came about and if you had bouts of depression throughout your life, or if this is something that just came about?
I'm glad I'm not 18 anymore. Get off your butt and make some changes in your life. All this talk about heroin and such, thats the path of a coward. Don't go there. x
dude i know exactly what this guy is going through. except i've been depressed on and off for about 5 years. i mean like really bad. i have absolutely know happiness and seriously consider killing myself from time to time. i dont have a loving family, actually i probably have one of the worst families, it would be better to me if i had none at all. there is this girl, and man do we have fucked up problems. then im broke. my school is going rough. it's just all bad and i have no clue what to do.
fuck, this shows just how imperfect people's live are. Im in these fucking dorms, they are fucking horrible, and my good freind Tom Glowka is in the same University as I am, the dude is finding new freinds and cooler people, and my other Freind Alex Groce is also finding new and interesting people everyday while im just having no life.. What my method is to cope with this shit is just hope. Hope is all that one can need..Like im just studying my ass off, trying to get a good job and not repeating falure again..and like things get better i guess.. Rough Times suck balls.. Ill tell yall this my life was so fucking beyond perfect like a year ago, I had everything, freinds, job, girl friend, a life, hardcore happyness, popularity in school, awsome grades, i was noted as an amazing team mate, and the list goes on you know? Then gradually i began loosing everything...one by one, one by one, my cool, my looks, my attitude going down the shitter..Then i got fuckin depressed, then i got shittier grades, got fired again.. now im trying to get back on my fuckin feet. Who knows, another phase of falure and fucked up-ness might happen again
good luck but yea i suggest therapy and meds are good but only if its a problem that other non medicional ways cant help and yea i dono good luck but yea i would suggest trying to take control of your life try eating healthy and being healthy that always makes me feel a ton better and just do what you need to do you may disagree about this but (btw im "clinically depressed") but somestimes when im just not feeling good and everything is sucking my mom just says you know fake it untill you make it and by trying to tell yourself that you can do it or taht you will get better you will actually change your way of thinking and believe that you can so i dono life is a struggle
Sounds like you really need to focus more on you right now.That was about 7 "everyone's" in about 2 sentences lol.Talk to a counselor at college,that can be your first step.Forget what other people are doing it does'nt matter.Getting your life together does.(btw you don't know what their problems are,they may be worse than yours.)So forget that.Get some help for yourself.Stay away from the drugs and alchohol that is very important.I know there can be peer pressure sometimes.It's about your life and saving it so make wise healthy decisions.Sounds like you're getting back on track with your schoolwork that's terrific,keep it up.Focus on getting help for yourself too and living healthier,you can get better.Make it simple for yourself and focus on the important things.You can get out of depression.Think about medication it can help,and you may need it now,yes there are some side effects,but it's better than suffering thinking about death and herion.A doctor can guide you around medication issues.Be yourself too,it's not a race or a competition.Do what you need to do.If you had a broken leg you would go to the doctor.When you're dealing with issues like this it's very much the same.It is very hard to do it all on your own if not impossible.There's help out there and you're not that different than anyone else.Stop putting yourself down.You're having a tough time at the moment and you'll get thru it.Don't give up on yourself,you ARE worth it.
