A little College rant

I Thought college was the time for experimenting? Well fuck it, I always have the best roomates/floormates and end up becomming really great friends with them. Then friendship turns into more than that; or atleast on my part. Two out of the three guys are pretty ambiguous in their sexuality too, and I always end up thinking the are gay. I get my hopes up for nothing, because nothing would ever happen. They always end up being straight. None of them cared about me being gay however, but its still frustrating as fuck. Im sick of repeating this same cycle over and over.

I think he is gay, constanstly analyze them in my mind, find out they aren't gay, then form some stupid defense mechanism against them (subconsciously) so I don't feel as hurt. I want to be friends with them but it kills me inside knowing that I am expecting the inevitable.

Its funny how your brain can convince itself of the silliest things.




Sorry if that rant didn't make sense. IM just in a very bad mood right now =\ blahhhhhhhhhhhh. I know things will be fine eventually too, I just needed to write out my shit to help that process work itself out faster.

Thanks for reading.

Peace.

 

Certainly Can Be Frustrating...Looking For That "Mr Right"....But Try Not To Lose Sight Of The Statistics......That One In Ten Are Totally Gay..Three In Ten Are Bi..And.....?? In Ten Experiment With The Same Sex At Sometime In Their Lives............NOW...According To Your Account Of Events ...And The Figures On My Calculator.......You Should Run Into "Mr Right" On Your Way To First Lecture Tomorrow....About 8.45am.....(remember to have a shower ..and put on clean underwear)


Cheers Glen.

P.S. If This Turns Out To Be Correct.....(and it will).. Don't Send Money.....Just A Simple Thank-You Will Suffice....

 

You're just experiencing that straight crush we all have. We constantly think about this one particular person and how bad we want to be with JUST them if only he/she was gay. After awhile, our minds start to think what we WANT to be true, not what is actually true. I think this is just the case with you right now. Eventually it will pass but it's one of the most difficult things us gay kids experience.

 

i'd just keep em as friends and stop trying to think if someone is gay or not. if they know you are gay and they are gay themselves and are attracted to you, they'll let you know. whatever happens, happens. if you really want to experiment maybe it's time to visit the gay bars around you? ^^

 

Ehh I am not old enough for bars. I am just not really into the flambouyant types, and its hard to tell who if a non-flambouyant gay person is actually gay, since the only way to know is by word. But I am also just starting to get comfortable with being gay and only a handful of friends know. Im not ready to jump out into the scene yet.

and thanks for the positive feedback glen. After three huge crush'n'fails like these, Im sure something good is bound to happen soon.

 

hmm i haven't been to one myself either but how old do you have to be to go to a gay bar? D; also you could try asking some of your girlfriends that are friends with the guys you are curious about to ask them harmless questions like do you or have you ever had a girlfriend etc. you find out if the guys are gay or not annnnd you save your friendships!

 

So here's the update. I told him, and hes cool with everything. He took it quite well actually. Unfortunately its been a week, and I am no longer driving myself insane by questioning him, but I still can't get rid of this god damn crush. I love his personality AND his looks. arghhhhhh

 

deary me you're not going to find 'mr. right' in a gay bar, you will easily find 'mr. sex' though.

 

double

 

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well im not into fems, and i wasn't describing "ambivalent" other than normal guys that aren't all about "fucking bitches and getting pussy" therefore since they dont assert it, i get confused. haha its my fault really, not theirs

 

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