Need help with girl, I really like her

I am in need of some relationship advice, especially because valentine’s day is this Thursday, so I would greatly appreciate any help from this long post! I met this girl last semester during the end of December (I go to college) who lives in my dorm. One night we were with a bunch of friends, and we got really close and started kissing. We ended up sleeping together that night in the literal sense—we didn’t even kiss later that night. I guess I should have made the move, but she seemed happy so for some reason, maybe I was scared, I didn’t push it. Later she confided to me that she had wished I had kissed her more and that she was wondering if I were single at the time (which I wasn’t). Anyway, then winter break came and we went to our homes. Over the break, we talked online a couple of times, and she seemed really interested in everything I said, and laughed at all of my jokes. So far, I was pretty sure she was interested in me, and I liked her too. Then we got back to school, and things got a little awkward. I didn’t really know how to approach her. Everyone in my dorm is very tight knit and good friends, and so I was friends with most of her friends, although they were more acquaintances than friends I hung out with. Whenever we would see each other, usually at lunch, she would smile at me nicely. We didn’t really hang out during the day too much. At night, mainly during the weekends when there were parties, she would become very flirty, though not so much with me. I would hang around her a lot, hoping to talk to her. By this point I liked her very much (this is around early January) and I didn’t know why she stopped liking me. Maybe I hadn’t taken initiative to ask her out. The thing is this girl wanted attention from guys; she wasn’t necessarily interested in a boyfriend, although I know she had more feelings for me at one point than she did with these other guys I knew she flirted with. About the third week of this new semester, probably mid-late January, I met some other girls at a party, and although I didn’t kiss them or anything, simply dancing with them helped me to take my mind off of this girl. From then on, I tried to stop seeing her. At lunch, I wouldn’t sit at her table on purpose, just because it was too painful to keep thinking about her and seeing her in person only made things harder. So I got her out of my mind. If she sat down at my lunch table, I wouldn’t say anything to her, let alone look at her. Nonetheless, I wasn’t cold either. If we ran into each other, I would smile and say hey. That was about it though.



So I thought things had ended, and I was okay with that. I still liked her and was glad for the memories we had last semester, but I wasn’t attached to her. Then recently, about a week ago, she started wanting to hang out with me. Maybe she noticed I wasn’t desperate for her anymore and that I was independent and wasn’t going to feed her attention like all these other guys. Namely, I was different. So one day she went outside with two of her friends and called me up to come outside. I said I might come out, whatever. I was napping anyway, though I told her in a nice way. I just thought it was sort of weird for her to be calling me. Then she called me half an hour later. Eventually I went outside, and she saw me. I went up to her group to talk to one of my guy friends, and from the corner of my eye I could tell she was smiling at me. In any case, I left. This past weekend, at all the parties I went to, whenever I saw her, if she was sitting down on a chair or whatever and I was about to leave the room, having not acknowledged her, she would make sure to grab my attention, either by tapping me on the back and saying hey or touching the back of my leg with her foot. I would look at her and smile, maybe waving my hand, then leave, purposefully.



She seems interested, but I’m not sure. The other night, I sat next to her, and whenever I do, we just don’t seem to have too much to talk about. She’s normally talkative, but at parties she can become subdued. She is flirty but shy. She wants me to tell her stories and such, yet for some reason I can’t bring myself to really flirt with her because a lot of the time she doesn’t respond positively, maybe it’s because there are other people at the parties, especially these other boys she flirts with.



Anyway, my question is does she like me, and if so, how should I approach her? We kind of already have this heartfelt connection that formed last winter which I’m fine with keeping going strong. But I could also try to go on a date with her, which would probably feel pretty natural, but then again I really think she would rather not have a bf right now. Valentine’s day is in three days. What do I do?

 

bump. this is urgent, i really need any advice I can get. I am thinking of just asking her out, though casually. I just feel like we've been through all this pre-dating activity even though technically we haven't, and it shouldn't be awkward. like we shouldn't really have to go on first dates, we should just hang out naturally and it should be fine and cool

 

just hang out . the way you put it in your post it doesn't seems as tho shes unsure of what to do with her self Especially with being young .. you want to be able to have freedom.

Try just going on dates or hanging out. you don't want to be tied down yourself.

 

i would like to initially state that i have no credentials and most of what i say is probably wrong


but anyway,
women are just like that. if you pretend like you dont care about them, then they feel like its a challenge to get your attention. she probably does feel attracted to you mostly because you dont pay that much atention to her. this is probably driving her crazy over you. good job. but in the earlier stages (when you DID pay alot of attention to her) she may not have seemed interested because, in her mind, she had already won the battle; it wasnt a challenge to her. in my humble opinion, i would say that she is probably interested in you

now about these other guys.
i have no idea. perhaps she has similar internal conflicts, as with you, involving all these other men. perhaps she is the type of woman who derives pleasure from flirting with men who dont really have any meaning to her (plenty of women do), but even if this is true she may still be interested in more of a relationship than what she currently has.

 

So I need to pay attention to her via hanging out or going on dates, but not give too much attention to her like I used to do? So basically hang out in a more than friends context but don't shower her with gifts or anything that would make her think you like her way too much. More or less just let her know that I like being in her presence/hanging out with her but keep her guessing as to whether or not I really like her? How would you recommend going about doing that? Btw both great posts, thanks!

 

I think you should visit Love Relationship Problems & Advices website. Good site for people starting off a relation or already in a relation. Really Good.