Brief history - i'm 43, still sexy and my divorce becomes final at the end of the month. I asked my husband of 18yrs to leave in nov 2006, no affair involved......have been dating, if thats what you call it, the last year and i'm very confused.......i've been seeing this one guy for awhile now, its complicated but i'm finding it hard to not let my feelings get hurt and i'm thinking maybe i'm missing something....when he does call or comes around its incredible!! i care about him i know he cares about me and i'm happy....but......it could be days before i hear from him....i can send a text that never gets answered.....as of now its been 10 days since i've seen him and the last time we spoke on the phone was 2 days ago......of course everyone tells me its not me its them...but i am starting to wonder....are my expectations too high or am i just crazy....?
Next time you see him tell him that you want him to keep in touch more frequently, if he doesnt take well to that, then find someone else. But I wouldnt judge to fast, alot of guys dont see anything wrong with not contacting a girl for awhile after they have had sex, because in their eyes, that was the point, and now they can wait awhile before then next session UNLESS they are made aware, this is ur part, that the girl wants more than just a fuckbuddy. sry to be blunt but thats reality
I've tried that...like i said things are complicated...he can't always call and i know that but it dosen't help....i just feel like i keep getting mixed signals...there are times i totally feel like his girlfriend and then there are times like now i don't know what the hell i am to him.....why can't people be honest with there feelings..??!!
Does this man have a demand job or children he is taking care of are there reason for all the days without communication. In my experience if am man is really interested he is going to call and check up on you every chance he gets it seems like he has something to hide to me or maybe you haven't made it clear on how you really feel and you would like to take it to the next level. I would be foward and ask him what it is he is wanting to get out of the relationship and if it is just sex and you are cool with it then everything is ok if you are lookin for more than you need to kick em to the curb and start looking again.
I think you have forgotten how to play the dating game after being out of it for so long. No clue why he doesn't call but you might want to bring it up casually the next time you speak with him. You could even make a joke of it "you make me feel like a teenager....waiting by the phone for your call" or "honey at my age I have better things to do then wait by the phone." If it creeps him out then walk away because he wants the freedom to call on his whim. If he laughs you might want to give him a chance. Only you know how you feel about him. Honestly coming out of an 18 year marriage you might want to date several people before getting serious. Sometimes after a long term relationship a person wants that feeling of stability they got from being married back in their life and will jump into the first relationship they can. Take a step back and look at things objectively. Does he make you happy? Is it because he is a nice guy or because he fills a void in your life? You know the questions you need to ask yourself. Good luck.
Yea...i did match.com...had some very interesting dates which is why i guess i did latch on to just one person. But you guys are right..i am coming out of a long term relationship and duh i guess i have some baggage...lol...he does have a demanding job and yes he does have kids...i think too with Valentines Day coming i'm probably feeling more vulnerable than usual.....i truly appreciate the comments..i will "take a step back" and ask myself the questions which need to be asked...and really if i tell him how i feel what do i have to loose? Thanks again for the warmth...Peace
Perhaps you should spend more time focused on yourself instead of him. Like instead of waiting for him to call you, do something else w/ your time. Find a hobby or something you enjoy doing. If you are busy focusing on yourself, you may not notice if he doesn't call you for a couple days b/c you have things going on. If he is busy w/ kids and a job, this doesn't mean he isn't committed, but rather, he has a lot going on. If you have a lot going on as well, you may realize why he isn't calling all the time. Besides, people are attracted to those who have a fulfilling life w/o a partner. It makes others think "This person's got their life together, what's their story?" When you are busy focusing on yourself, you may find that guy calling you more often. He sees that you have a life and he wants to become a part of it- that means keeping in touch. If he felt that you would be waiting for him, why would he have extra incentive to call every day? He knows you'll be there. Don't make yourself so available. For example, if he invites you on Friday for a weekend together, it could mean his other plans fell through. If you say "I wish you would have asked me sooner; I made other plans," that shows you have a life and if he wants to be part of it, he has to make you a priority. Instead of asking you on Friday, you may find that he calls you on Mon. or Wed. to make plans rather than wait last minute. Show that you are worth chasing by having a fulfilling life w/o him- that's what will encourage him to commit. Peace and love
If he's got kids, then your gona have to take alot of initiative and interest in his situation, cuzz kids cant just be done away with like most baggage. Suprised a single woman would be interested in someone with kids tbh.. could be a bad idea imo
A few ideasfrom a man who dated and later married the divorced woman. 1) He is not as interested as you think, or: 2) Your not the only woman, or: 3) You are a sex toy, or: 4) He has no intention of ever have a relationship that is more than what you are having now. Sorry sister, but something isnt straight in this one. There are plenty of men, women, and couples out there looking for a hot 40s girl.....
