hey, i am very confused about how i feel about my friend. me and annie have known each other for a while, she is with this guy james, its so annoying because everything time me and her are talking and she says something really nice, or heartfelt towards me, i almost feel like i love her, but then when she talks about or tells me about the stuff they have done with this other friend of hers, bella, i feel very jealous and hurt, i have only ever felt jealous of her friends who are girls, never the guys. i know that she loves me (in friend terms) and that i am very special to her, but still it scares me that i could be replaced. its like extremes in everything. i know that me and her in a relationship would not work, but i feel these things for her, i know its all just a fantasy, but i dont want it to effect our friendship which i value highly. she knows that i once had feelings for her, but she doesnt know that they have come back, or how strong they can be, sometimes it is in a sexual way. i dont know what to do, i could just ignore them, but i would really appreciate some help on how to deal with this. thank you. blessings xxx xx x
argh and now these damn feelings are effecting how am i with her, i dont want to talk to her because i feel hurt, it hurts to talk to her or see a pic of her and this friend of hers. its like she has done something wrong, which she hasnt! this is so stupid because i know its all me, its all in my mind, but it is effecting things. any advice would be great, thanks blessings xxx xx x
Spirit, it's never easy to have 'more than friends' feelings towards someone you're close with. I had a really good friend once, we were both lesbians, got along fantastically and I let it become more in my mind. It wasn't always easy, but I managed to keep my feelings to myself, even when she met someone. We're not friends anymore, for different reasons, but I always held a candle for her. I know it's easier said than done, but maybe if you want to keep the friendship going, don't let your feelings interfere. I mean, it could end up having serious repercussions for you, ones that would be hard to recover from. Treasure the times you get to spend together, focus on the good things and as I said before, try not to let your feelings 'get in the way' so to speak! Good luck!
Spirit, has the situation resolved itself yet? I'm actually having a similar problem, only it's not me, but rather a gay friend. He's really struggling with the whole gay thing, and he's fallen in love with one of his best friends, who's straight. That alone sucks, but as they're best friends, they see each other all the time, so the feelings never really lessen. It's been going on for a LONG time now. A similar thing happened to me, only the girl I fell in love with moved 10, 000km away, which is a convenient distance for getting over someone. I have tried SOOOO hard to help him, but I'm really running out of ideas. On the one hand, if he stays, he'll just start to ruin himself. On the other hand, if he leaves, he loses one of his closest friends, as well as which it's not fair on his friend. So Spirit, and everyone else who's been in a situation, please let me know how you came out of it/how it ended so my friend can stop beating himself up about this. It's so painful to watch. I'm really sorry if I took over the thread here, heh...
no dont be sorry and yes it has resolved itself, well, in a way. we got drunk with some friends about 2 weeks ago, and their was this weird guy who would not drink, any way, about 2 days ago that guy told annie that i was looking at her in a pervy way, which is not true, if i did look at her, it was in a moment of weakness and lust, come on, i was drunk. anyway, me and her ended up talking about her, she said that she felt uncomfortable about it, but after i explained how i feel she understands, but it kills me that 1 she knows about my up and down confused feelings for her, and 2 that it worries her boyfriend. but as i said, after i told her that i dont want to be with her and that i never ment for it to be a big deal and that its nothing to worry about she is ok. its just, shaming for me, embarrasing that she knows. i hope this helps bocks, and thank you elithustra watching sugar rush helps blessings xxx xx x
