i'm always tense. no matter what, there's no escaping it. i can't even sleep at night anymore. i feel like i'm trapped inside a body that doesn't even want me. i can't relax, or even open up to show my real emotions to anybody. that even includes myself. i can't even accept the way i feel. even though that would probably make everything a lot easier... or maybe even solve half of these problems, since my hugest problem seems to be just accepting how shitty i feel. i just know i'm going to die a failure who tried to change myself all my life to no avail based on stupid things other people have said in the past. i love everybody and value everybody's opinions so much that i put myself dead last. that's where my hatred and negative feelings pile up. right on top of me. i suck. in conclusion, i suck at life harder than anybody here. oh, and i'm going to die a virgin for sure. that's all for now.
-Smoke some bud -Smoke some bud then have your friend take you for a drive -Listen to music AND drive -Go to the movies -Play "i have never" with a bunch of drunk people. People will say some real shit. Who knows maybe you can learn something you wanted to know about them. -Walk out in a busy street when everyone waiting for the light to turn green to walk across. Before this happens just scream FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK! then walk away like no big deal. That is fun haha -Hold a sign like you homeless. In your regular cloths. Your sign will say "i'm constantly tense advice to get rid of this?" Its amazing what people will say if the sign you hold says something worth reading.
meditation is great. maybe make a day out of treating yourself. If you can get a massage(90 minute) and then if you can go home and put on some calming music and just lay down. You may fall asleep and that is fine, you probably need it, but if you don't or can't sleep, focus on your whole body laying down. First your feet and you have to remember not to get your mind wandering on other things... first feet, tense them and release, then legs, all the way up your body, even masterbating(not preverted, just release) if that will calm your body down... if that doesn't work, i sometimes will do this silly excercise. i hold my fingers so that my thumb and forefinger make a closed circle. I hold it together for awhile and at the same time relaxing breathing deep and picturing my happy place, a place where no matter what i could not be happier than i was than.... think about the place and the fun you had and how you felt soo "you" at that happy place all while pinching your 2 fingers in a circle...continue as long as you can. then when you notice that things are getting stressed, you're grinding your teeth or needing deep breaths to deal, close your finger and forefinger again in that closed circle and for a minute shut your eyes. This will help you calm down in the middle of stressfull tense moments, bring yourself back to you. hope this helps
Try yoga. Or exhausting yourself with physical exercise, preferably while listening to good music. Hard to be tense when you're panting and sweating and rocking all at once.
^ Agree. What do you want out of this thread? From what you write, I'd suggest you take some time to figure out who you are and what you believe in, stop worrying about what other people say or think and work on getting a bit of confidence. That would take care of your virgin problem pretty quickly too.
You're 18 years old. You're young. A lot will change as you merge into adulthood, not just in the material/external world, but mentally as well. I remember being tense and insecure like you when I was that age, and now when I look back on that, I think how silly all those insecurities were. I think you just need a self-esteme boost.
