I'm starting to think I'm never gonna get out of this shit. I think the drugs I've done (a lot of ex, some pot, coke, tripped on DXM, bars) have messed me up a lot in a short amount of time. It just feels like even though it's only been since this past time, my experiences with drugs have really become all I talk about. All I care about. All I want to do. And t hat kind of scares me... but at the same time, I wouldn't want it any other way...
I don't have much experience with drugs, other than weed. But now that I have been smoking for about 4 years, a lot of my life revolves around weed. It's like, I could go and do something without weed, but if I do it when I'm high, I know it's going to be way better. A lot of the time, I just smoke because I'm bored, because when you're stoned, even the most boring things can be funny and entertaining.
That's sorta the same idea with me, too. But my best friend hates it and thinks I'm "better than that" ... I dunno how to deal with that, ya know? It's like..what am I supposed to say to that? I don't really think it's that I can't handle it...
2006 was the year of my drugs. I did coke, you know put that nose candy up. I have tried ex several times along with others. Now though i only smoke bud and drink on the side. All i can tell you is if you put your mindset on what the drug made you feel (it was good and you were escapeing reality) you will always be lost. Just remember that somethings never continue. Get rid of the drugs man, it wont do shit but harm you in the end. I try to say that to myself, but its hard. Do everything you can to say fuck it. Always think how you want to treat your body and mind in a few years. Some people dont have that. When there but to die. It seems they wish they would have done somethin long ago. So do somethin now. Limit your self and fuckin take care of your health. You dont got health, you dead.
Part of me knows I should drop it, leave it behind, but part of me doesn't want to. And I have friends that hate it. And I'm just....I don't want to lose my friends cause I don't wanna change, but I don't wanna have to change in order to not lose my friends.
So maybe they are rollin all night, why cant you just smoke blunts? You can still get high without the hard shit.
I'm fine with weed, but it's just...I like uppers better? I don't think it's that bad either. But... eh.
I binged on it for almost a year straight, I've done quiiiiiiiite a few pills, and I'd say I've learned more during that one year than all the years of my life combined. It was an incredible learning experience. I've been off of it for a few months now, and I've yet to see any permanent side affects.
I've never had any flashbacks or anything either. But even if I did, I don't think it'd be bad. All my experieces with ex were good.
