Theres a dilemma with me and my parents...im trying to stay cool about it, but im getting angry...here it goes... I met this guy online (from hipforums) a couple years ago. He turned out to be my best friend, the one I turn to, cared about, and all that. we have so much in common that we even have the same disability..hes a great guy andi love him to death. I wanted to meet him in March for my 18th (in feb) to hang out with him and his family. He told them a lot about me and I started liking him, he even saved my life without notice when I was going through a bad time. So we got really close..I started telling my parents about him and of course they had that parent instinct about meeting a guy online, it wasnt my intension to meet and go out with him, we were just good friends. Well one night after a Tool concert he left me a voice mail on how it was on my moms phone and she asked how old he was and i said 19 because it was BEFORE i liked him and i frigured we're never gonna meet so she doesnt have to know....wellll...when we started getting serious, I was gonna save up money to go see him, and I did. Well my parents used the "You're in my house" lame saying and wanted him to come down here, and I asked, he said yes in a heart beat because he didnt want to disrespect my parents. So I told my parents and they agreed. Last night....my mom asked how old he was again, and my heart dropped, remembering I told her he was only 19 that time...I told her his real age (25) and she got mad at me for lying to her and my dad said he couldnt come down here now. I didnt cry, i didnt yell, i didnt get mad, I stayed quiet and calm. Mom confronted with it today and she said whats a 25 yr old talkin to an 17 yr old and all that shit and I told her we get along so well (while sobbing my eyes out) I told her just give him a chance please mom, im almost 18, itll be okay. She said shut up stacy. and i thought that was total bullshit that she cant know him because hes older and he agreed. I got scared last night and called him (because this exact same thing happened with me and my ex) and he said nothing EVER like that will push him away from me and we will figure out what to do. That made me happy and even more close to him. Im just afraid if I have to come up there Id be stopped. But then I think...well im 18, you have no rights over me anymore, what I do is my problem now...and i know there gonna use "well you're in my house" shit "you do what i say" I have NO problem moving out, Ive got people and friends with open arms asking me to move in with them and i would LOVE that, getting a job, being responsible at a young age and achieving it. Thats my dream right there. Im just stuck right now and about to break down.. My mom is NOT NOT gonna make me lose my best friend
well i say pack your shit an move out.. you have 2 choices, obey your parents or move out.there house,there rules no matter how old you are. since you dont seem to like what they had to say,,id say your only choice is to move out.. it seems you already know this from your post.. i dunno why ya even started the thread,i mean its not like someones going to come up with a magic plan to get your parents to do it your way...
well see thats the problem, im graduating in may, im going there in march, im waiting to see if my mom will give me the benefit of the doubt, but if she doesnt, then my plan was to move out in july and live with him
she aint changing her mind.. you can forget that.. your 17 and a half i assume, birthday in july? he's 25,, there aint any normal parent gonna allow that to happen without a fight.. hell,, if my 17 year old daughter was to bring a 25 year old home to meet me an dilli,, you can bet your ass me an him would be havin a nice in depth talk so i could figure out why he would be interested in someone 8 years younger.. there is a lot of life in those 8 years.. a lot of changing and maturing. i for one would be very curious as to intentions,,although i wouldnt stop it,, id keep my eye out for my daughters best interests.. that bein said,, me an dilli aint normal parents,, i assume yours are.. trust me, they aint bending on this one....
I see. and im turning 18 in Feb. well then ill just go see him, and too bad so sad for them if we ever did get serious serious for them. :/
yep id say thats about it.. if your 18 next month an have no problem with moving out,i guess go for it.. im sure they will be happy to see you go..
whats up with these kids moving out at 18 and thinking everything in life is so easy and okay... what, you are going to work at a dead end $10/h job for the next fifty years because of some stupid crush/obession? I guess if you go to university and live on campus or something and don't move back in with your parents thats cool, but if you're 18 with only a high school education, where do you see yourself going?
Bad idea! You've waited this long to be together, a couple more months shouldn't matter. It would be unwise of you to alienate your parents when it is so simple to avoid. Just wait until you graduate. Maybe after you are 18 they would be more willing to meet him. As parents they are just trying to protect you. I understand why you are angry, but I promise you would be more upset if they didn't care. Talk to your parents, thank them for their concern. Be open and honest about why you want to see your friend. They are so against it because 1.) you hid it and 2.) you lied. See it from their side too.....and you might gain insight on how to talk to them. Good luck
^ Well yeah that was my plan, see him in march, see if i like living with him, then of course come back to graduate, then in july, im really really hoping my parents will come around to it and let him come down because thats when im thinking about moving out and in with him
Stacy why don't you just have him come visit you for your birthday. Tell your parents that he's a good friend and just stand firm there. If they don't want him staying at your home, he can stay with one of your friends. Then they really have nothing to say about it. Be sure and let them know he's important to you and you'd like them to meet him. Give them a chance to see what you see in him. I don't think your ages are much of a big deal but the fact that you live with your parents is, of course. I've always heard that a 7 year difference works out for the best, something about women maturing faster. Anyway your parents are looking to protect you and if you get him to visit you there, they can still do this. I can understand why they don't want you going to see him and I imagine you do too. Life is difficult enough without alienating your family and moving in with someone that you've known only through the internet, despite knowing him for two years. Try to take your time and do what's best for all of you. It sounds like he's going to hang in there with you no matter what.
Well I was thinking that, because I miss him so bad, that I was thinking of seeing him sooner than march, Id love it if he came down for my 18th but I dont think any of my friends would keep him, and knowing that hes at someone else's house and not with me (not actin selfish) after 2 years of not seeing him, makes me upset too lol. I havent talked about him to my parents since then. I wanna tell them that I care and really like him a lot, I really do but they think its puppy love all the time and I cant stand that. If they would just meet him and realize and see that we're great together, they's stop acting like bullshitters and like him. I was joking with my mom today (i just watched Cloverfeild last night) and said "ha! after seeing that movie, I aint going to NY!" and she said "are you serious?" but kinda in a disappointing tone and i said 'nah im jokin' and she asked about him. I think its best with my parents, to keep it quiet, and to go around talking to him on the phone and laugh with him like i always do and maybe if they HEAR how happy I am, they'll come around to him
dear, i am in the same situation as you are. your best bet is to get a job now, save your money, finish school, move out when your of age and just go see him, or get a place of your own and have him come meet you. it's distressing, i know. but you've already gone so long without seeing him, a few months won't hurt, right? i turn 18 in march, and that's when i had planned to move and meet a good friend i met online years ago. it backfired, i got in trouble with the law, and now my license is suspended until april. i know it hurts when the right guy is thousands of miles away and you have to wait. but it'll get better, and i promise - it WILL work out of you want it to.
well heres the update on it. my mom is startin to get along with him again, but my dad not so. itll take awhile for him. I regained my patience to see him and im planning on it in March. so hopefully my parents will see that he is a good man
