How could someone make you feel so low, to make you think death is the only way out How could someone hurt you so bad, that every time you hear their name you want to cry How could someone leave you alone, when they know you’re their world How could someone break your heart, when they’re the one holding you together How could someone tell you there is someone else, knowing in your heart that they’re the one How could someone make you feel so much pain
So sad and distant I feel right now. Your isolation I embrace as my own. This lack of harmony between partners. Crawling into the cave of oneness like a newborn child. I will choose how to be reborn anew. Thank you.
I know now why someone can do what has been done to you. I had to do it to someone very close the other night. I am totally devoted to someone, they are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. There is something about them that makes me complete when I am around them. I don't know why, it could be so simple as a chemical or as complex and as psychologically engulfing as the insanity of being lost halfway through the formula to solving the meaning of life. I will never know why, I only understand that I have only felt that feeling with that person and that person alone. And that person is not the one the one that feels so strongly about me, the girl I had to hurt. She has been in love with me for years, and never done anything about it. If she had told me years ago, it would have been her I was with, and maybe the one that I am with now. But that just wasn't what happened, so why regret it? It seems that the only way to explain is that it wasn't in the plan. It wasn't what happened, and therefore isn't what is hapening now. The only thing to do is accept, and from there leave it behind and learn from it, or continue following and trying for what it is you want. The only certainty is death, and before that, anything could happen, including getting what you want. To decide what to do about it, you have to figure out if now is more important to be happy in, or if the hope of being happy someday, and being the way you feel right now in the meantime is more worth it. Patience is a virtue when never may be when. Virtues though are very paradoxical beasts. Virtues implly a way to live. You may think thoughts untrue to your virtue, but you actions are either in total devotion to them or totally not.To those that see you, virtues are pure strength and devotion; they are very good things to have for people to respect you and look up to you. To you though, they mean going through a test every second over and over, that you always have to pass to continue embodying that virtue. It is like an impossible path with a different ending every time, but every ending essentially leads back to the same beginning over and over until the culmination of the conflict, come it in death or culmination of the journey the virtue led you on. It is absolute and unwavering if you are true to it and nothing if you are not, there is no middle ground.
