I Just Wish Someone Would Just Kill Me...

Because committing suicide would be selfish...
I just can't deal with life anymore. I really can't and I don't know whats wrong with me. I've been so upset lately, I can't sleep and my best friend forces me to eat because I won't do that either (Last month I didn't eat at all, just a bag of gummy worm and I started looking seriously sickly)...
I'm so stressed out by previous abusive relationship, my other best friend and her boyfriend drama (and I haven't talked to her in like a month because I can't reach her), I can't tell my mom I'm bisexual, I have like no money to pay off my credit card right now, the guy I was kinda dating stopped talking to me out of the blue and got a slutty girlfriend (and I have to deal because I work with him), my perception of the world is terrible because I see everything for what it is and my surrounds look fake! I feel like I'm watching myself from the outside instead of actually living my life. I have terrible shyness so terrible that it affects my everyday life. AND on top of that I just started going to school full time with a full time work load.

I CAN'T DEAL!!!
What am I suppose to do??

 

Hmm. Possible solutions would be: Find a different job, away from your ex.
Temporarily quit school or take half-days, to get rid of shyness stress.
Start eating healthy.
Talk to your parents, parents are the ground wire of life i find.

Just think, you could have much more severe problems.

 

Hang in there, sugarplum. Change things. Drop some crap you can't handle, such as investing yourself too much in what mom would think if she only knew. My take on it is that she doesn't really need to know about your sexuality. It is your sexuality after-all, all your own.

If the way you're living is just too much the anguish, think seriously about just changing some things, even about the unspeakable. It is continuing on a path of misery that should really be unspeakable. But it is what you can choose to continue or to change. Yeah, the world can overwhelm. I am guessing that you are in the city. I am a lot, like day in and day out, and that is bad for the soul. Good luck. It's all God's love in the end. :^)

 

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Psychadelik you really should check out a post i made three days ago as it would seem we have something in common at the moment.
http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=279372

life has been getting both of us down lately and i'm just sick of it. life can be so full of difficulty sometimes. i get caught up in it and lose my perspective. if you need a friend, i'm 2 hours away. hang in there.

:sunny:
:spliff:
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That's exactly what happens sometimes. You nailed it perfectly. Please get help or find a way to step back and get some perspective. Believe me, you've got a lot of good living left to do.

 

1. Meditate daily if you don't already.

2. Hang out with people who bring you up with their positivity.

3. Spend some time alone in nature (works for me).

4. Get back in touch with your family or some old friends, if you've been neglecting talking to them for awhile.

5. Do nice things for others, complete strangers even. It will make everyone feel better.

 

************HUGS*******************
Your life must be stressful school and work full time wow thats a lot to do!
I dont know what to suggest with the finacial stuff, something I havent encountered yet but soon will.
One thing I can suggest to you is when you go home relax, listen to what ever music you like read a book. Do this for an hour, and relax no phone calls unless its an emergency. Just take time for your self. Do yoga (if your into that kinda thing) do what makes you HAPPY!

Theres a book, might be kind of a morbid title, but its soo good and it helped me alot. Its called Who will cry when you die? By Robin S. Sharma. Its all about how you can live life it gives a lot of qoutes and makes your seriously think about life. I hope one day you pick up the book and read its contents its beautiful.

Listen the buddisht (sorry if I spelt this wrong) say nothing is permanent, everything eventually ends. So dont worry about what your going through right now it wont always be this bad, you NEVER know what tomorrow bring or what next week brings trust me it will get better. Hope everything works out for you

*** LOTS OF HUGS****************************
Stay strong! You can do it !

 

I'm kind of feeling that way today myself. Lonely and stressed. I know form experience that I can ride it out and be better, hopefully, on the morrow. But I get tired of feeling like I live largely out of a sense of obligation. Would be nice to feel more that I am really living.