Just Friends Nothing Wrong With That

There is this guy that I like... But there are a few things that are getting in the way. One would be that I am 19 and he is 27. He says that age does not matter after 18, and for only being 19 I do not act like it. I am very mature and have my own place paid off free and clear. and I have my own car paid off free and clean. He says that age does not matter but yet he calls me young all the time.. So does he really think age does not matter? The other thing is when I go to see him we mess around and have sex. He likes to say we are just friends nothing wrong with that is there. And I say no but would he really be doing stuff with me if he didn't.. Cause you can tell that he is really into me just by the way he acts but, it seem that he won't admit it.. So I am kinda in a stuck spot. I find myself day dreaming about him and thinking about him all the time. I just don't know. So we just go with the flow and see what happeneds.. He has also said he likes be but there is not enough to go on. So I am not sure what that means. I guess I just don't know... I wish he would just tell me if he does or not.. cause it would be easier. What do you think? Should I keep pretending like I don't care and don't have feelings for him or what?

Sorry for the long post!

 

If you pretend you don't have feelings for him, you will probably get hurt. It can be really messy when 2 friends start having sex b/c one person may develop feelings for the other (such as your case) while the other doesn't reciprocate the feelings. Basically, the friendship will never return to how it was before and there will be many feelings hurt. You might wonder if the only reason he became your friend was to get in your pants, if he genuinely cared about you at one point, or if you two were even friends to begin with.

Consider this: why would he buy the whole loaf when he's getting the slices for free? When I first met my fiance, we hung out until late in the morning and I was taking medication that I couldn't drive on. I ended up spending the night with him, sharing his mattress b/c the couches were taken. I didn't have sex with him or anything else. I just went to sleep. The next day, he told me that I passed his first test. He explained that if a girl would have sex w/ him on the first date, he would no longer view her as girlfriend material and instead as just someone to fuck. A couple hours later, we became a couple. This is just something you might want to talk to him about b/c not everyone shares my fiance's views on most things.

Peace and love

 

He explained that if a girl would have sex w/ him on the first date, he would no longer view her as girlfriend material and instead as just someone to fuck.



I stayed at his house and share a bed with him and did not have sex with him.. he tells me that he liks be but not enough to go on. which I am not sure what that means. and he tells me he cares about me but does not no what kind of care it is...

 

Personally, if I was developing feelings for a fuck buddy, I would stop having sex w/ that person and back off a bit. Let emotions and feelings settle a bit. Then decide what to do once your head is clear. Many times, feelings can cloud your judgment.

Talk to him, if he remains very wishy washy, as in he likes you, but doesn't know how much, etc. don't waste your time for him to come around. Find someone who is emotionally and physically available. Just don't put yourself in a difficult position, especially having sex w/ someone you have feelings for who doesn't see you in the same light. It's much easier to remain fuck buddies when feelings are not involved.

Please be careful and remember to do what's best for you.

Peace and love

 

Thanks that helps a lot I just wish he would make up his mind cause I find myself knowing i Have feelings for him..And we have only had sex once but we talk on the phone for over 6 hours and never run out of things to talk about so I know he is not just in it for sex. I think I might have a talk with him when he calls me after he is done with work this morning.

 

i'm kind of in a similar situation. i've been seeing this kid since the beginning of december...we talked maybe about a month prior then decided to meet up. we've been seeing each other once or twice a week. we live about an hour apart, but both of us have cars and our schedules allow us to see each other in the evening and a weekend day.
we've taken things pretty slow. last time i saw him was the first time we fooled around, but that night my bff asked us if we were a couple and neither of us said anything. me? because i don't want to assume that that's what he wants and feel stupid if it's not. i'm hoping that's why he didnt reply either, but he calls me buddy sometimes and i just get confused because i dont know if he sees me as just a friend or more.
im thinking of asking him his intentions and all that crap. i just get really bad with being serious, but i need to because i get too worked up

 

I know cause with him.. I am so happy and we don't just mess around we go out and have fun. and we can talk.. we talk a lot.. and you know someone likes you by the way they act. I just think that he is hiding the way he feels about be cause he just got out of relationship that did not end so well.. so i think that has a lot to do with it... but really like him.. I find my self day dreaming about him and wanting to be with him and everything. I just wish we were closer we are about and hour and a half away. from each other.. so It is kinda hard to do that. but we both make time for each other... but it is still hard I just wish he would be albe to tell me flat out if he likes me or not cause that would let my mind as ease.

 

yeah i totally understand all that. boy and i are an hour away...he works the 8-6 shift and i have school/work. he's pretty confusing on letting me know what i am to him. calls me buddy/chatfriend, and i feel like i need to back off until i know for sure.
drives me NUTS because we're obviously more than friends.

 

This guy sounds like he full of shit.

 

I don't know I was up there seeing him on tuesday thing went great. we ordered pizza and watch movies and just relaxed in each other company the whole time. went to bed at five am got up and he took me out for breakfast. It just seems like there is somthing more there but it is not official.. I don't know it is so confusing

 

From your last post, it just seems like he wants to be friends only. I mistakenly thought that you two were regularly having sex, but if you only had sex once, this may be why. I have been in a similar situation (a friend & I had sex once) and we just stayed friends b/c nothing happened after that. Just watch out for yourself- give yourself some room if your feelings are hurt.

Peace and love

 

well we have had sex more then once. and things are still going good. he has be saying how happy he is that I am in his life. and he can't wait to see me. and he calls me every day just to say hi and stuff like that.. so I just makes i hard to understand what he is really wanting....

 

yeah because you guys could just be "friends" with ben.
i think the only way youre going to know what he wants is to flat out ask

 

we had a talk last night and he told me he liked me but he did not want to commit to being in a relationship.. and I understand his last relationship was really bad and I understand why we would not want to be in an other one so fast. he did say to me that if he was wanting to commit to a relatinship it would be with me.. so just hearing all that makes me feel a lot better. I mean I no I won't get to date him, but just the thought that he does like me and him saying we will see what happens makes thing worth it.. Plus I really like him.. he makes me happy and makes me feel more self confident and special.. and I love it... I can't wait to see him on Monday!

 

sounds like he is more confused than you are lol. If you havent already, you should tell him that you are falling for him...

 

He might be fine with how the relationship is going but it is clear u are not or u wouldn't be asking. It sound like to me he is getting the best of both worlds. I would cut off on the sex and explain that you want to get to know him and not in just the sexual kind of way and then see what happens. If he respects you and likes to be with you like he says he will keep coming around if he stops talkin to u then you have your answer.