Should I have kept my mouth shut?

Okay, the dumbest thing just happened, and I need to know if I was in the wrong for future reference.
My boyfriend is really sick with the worst cold I've ever seen. His head is throbbing. As soon as his sister comes home, she gets all bitchy with him because she doesn't want to catch it. At this point, I'm getting a little peeved, because, honestly, it's not his fault he's sick. He NEVER gets sick. He's a very healthy person, so when he does get sick, it's serious. He tries not to pepper everything with germs so as not to make people around him sick, but she still acts like it's his fault and he's doing it on purpose to make her mad or something stupid like that.
Then, when he tells her he has a throbbing headache so bad that no pain killer is touching it, she deliberately comes into the room he's trying to recooperate in (so much for being afraid of getting sick) and claps her hands as hard as she can next to his ear over and over, causing him to moan in pain. I'm really getting pissed at this point, cos he's on the phone with me and I can't do anything about it (he lives three states away). I express my anger by saying, "Ooooh, if I was there..." And then he goes, "Why? What would you do to her?" like he's getting all protective of her. And I say, "I don't know, but I'd make her stop. You don't do that to people. Jesus." He's like "Down Woofy, it's just sibling rivalry." I said," I don't care, it's pointlessly mean and there's no reason for it."
I mean seriously, this girl would bawl her little eyes out if he did that to her while she was in pain. And he was acting like I was going to beat the shit out of her or something. He KNOWS I don't believe in eye-for-an-eye or violence ("Sibling rivalry" or otherwise), so why would he suddenly get protective of the girl who's hurting him just for the hell of it against the girl who just wishes she could be there to make him feel better? All I was saying was that, if I was there, I would push her away or something. I already felt bad enough that I couldn't be there to make him feel better. Now I have to listen to his teenage sister torture him.

Should I have stayed quiet like a church mouse and not expressed my feelings? Or am I allowed to say something? Because he got kind of weird with me after that and made some excuse to get off the phone, so I didn't get a chance to explain myself.
It's not like I was making him choose between us or something weird, and I didn't call his sister a bitch, because, for the most part, she's a cool person. I was just expressing my frustration at feeling so helpless.
Want to heal... want to heal... want to heal... gawd I'm pathetic. :tongue:






Totally off-topic, but I just felt like mentioning...
This kind of stuff bothers me, because I just hope that if and when we have our own family (yes, it's this serious... we're moving in together next year when he gets his associate's degree and transfers to holistic medical school), this doesn't become a bone of contention between us. I know he doesn't share the same beliefs as me on violence not being okay and thinks that kids beating the shit out of each other and just hurting each other for no reason within a family is just normal brother-sister stuff and that my pacifistic ways are just some hippie pipe-dream. It would just be nice if for once I didn't get the customary rolling-of-the-eyes attitude every time I talk about how I don't think that's right. When we have our own family, I don't want to constantly be justifying my choice to discourage petty meanness in my house. I understand that you can't live in the same house with someone day-in and day-out and not have sibling issues or whatever. I'm just saying kicking someone when they're down is cheap and won't be tolerated in my house, nor will beating each other up. I don't care if I have 10 boys. It's not happening. I will become a warden if I have to...
{/estrogen-infused rant}

 

You were 100 percent in the right, your boyfriend is a little odd I think (no offense).

If my girl stuck up like that for me it'd be awesome

 

You were in the right. But your guy was sick. just keep that in the back of your mind. When and if you have children ppl change. they grow up fast.


I'll tell you something my sister and I are soooooo opposite.

She'll let her 6-8 y/o stay up till 11 pm and my kids are in bed at 830 9 pm no disrespect so shut up whatever who cares

But my sister will take screw u shut up blah blah . Opposites are good. sometimes. It depends how you grow up too.

 

I don't think you did anything wrong; just ignore this one w/ the fact that he was sick and probably not completely there mentally. Don't worry too much.

I understand what you mean about different ways to raise kids. When I talk to my fiance on the phone, I can hear his nephews screaming in the background, then his sister, and then her husband. Personally, I find that horrific- why would you scream at your own children? Doesn't that make a parent just as guilty of the same of behavior that the parent is punishing their child for? Also, they will scream at each other, even when I'm on the phone w/ my fiance or worse, when I'm there. That is freaking awkward- what can you say when the sister starts picking a fight over the smallest thing, the husband starts cussing and screaming, their kids are in the room, and you're stuck in the middle? That is one thing I have learned from the situation- if you have to fight w/ your SO, don't fight in front of your kids, and don't scream profanities when your kids can hear.

Peace and love

 

You critisized one of his family members, he defended them. Peoples' relationships' with their family members are frequently not rational.

I think its likely that when the two of you have a family, he will defend the new family (you and the kids) with the same illogical loyalty that he defended his sister.

In the future, both of you will need to learn how to deal with conflicts between his birth family and his married family. That also applies to your family. The transisition from the birth family to the married family is seldom smooth.

"She's family."

 

Thanks all for replies.
He tried to make me feel better about it the next day by telling me his sister made french toast for him for breakfast because she felt guilty about the night before or something. That made me feel a little better because now at least I know she has a conscience. I still thought it was weird that he was acting like I lost my mind on her or something. I didn't even say anything to her. But whatever. The point is, she's human and humans do dumbass things sometimes. At least she tried to make up for it...