Hey, guys. This is my first post on the forums. I will probably post here regularly, and it's nice to meet you all. Most of the posts I've looked into here seem fairly mature, so I've taken the bait! In any case, I want to share a bit with you, and inquire about a few things. I'd originally rolled back in highschool back when the Rave scene here in El Paso was still active.. but I was young, immature, and the experience is all kind of a blur in general. I'd stopped rolling when I was about 17, and I'm now 25 as of December 14th. I started rolling again about 5 weeks back, on Saturday night. It was an extremely intense experience, which was completely different. Being more mature, with a well-balanced outlook on life.. as a very emotionally empathic person who loves life, loves people, and is extremely open minded.. it couldn't have been taken at a better time. It increased all of those aspects in me to superhuman levels that night. I trascended myself for those hours, and will never forget the experience. It was a big group of people, about 12-15 there. The pill I took was yellow pisces, which I bought for $20; I followed up later after I came down with another one, for another $20. Ever since, we've had a consistent and regular "rolling group" that comes over every Saturday. They're all amazingly cool people, who are very chill and loving at their core.. could not ask for a more perfect group of people to roll with. We're like brothers and sisters. No tension, no drama. The next week, I actually managed to score a pure MDMA capsule for a discount at $25 with a big purchase of yellow pisces we purchased for our session group. That night my girlfriend had me a bit bummed out, and the trip ended up being killed.. but the beginning of the trip was a heavenly experience. I felt so absolutely pure; the street lights were humming, the lines in the road were glowing brightly.. everything was diamond-sharp in my vision. It was intense.. but it ended very quickly due to being so bummed. I had no crash.. no chewing, no soreness.. just mellowed off of it. Over the next few weeks until present, we've been rolling every Saturday with the exception of the 12th due to me being really sick with bronchitis. I also tried a tripple stack "eraserhead" which fucked me up the and had me throwing up all night; terrible roll, and I will never touch a tripple stack anything again. This past Saturday, we had a really large session and it was an extremely loved up, good experience. Yellow Pisces pills down here have yet to let me down; always very euphoric, loved up.. great body high, lots of bonding.. sharing. I got them for $15 a pop and got a return of $20 bucks, and was offered a direct "over the border" hookup so I can start getting them for $5 a pill in small bulk. Great! I rolled on one pill, then about 3 hours later a half, and then about 2 hours later another full bean. I ended up rolling smoothly for about 9 straight hours. I ended up having pretty bad jaw stiffness/pain, and my joints were a tad sore with a little depression late Sunday night but I'm fine today and feel great, looking forward to this next Saturday. Which brings me to my question. I hear a lot of people talking about how you should only roll once or twice every 2-3 months, because it will leave you totally fucked up and you'll have chronic depression, never be happy or content when you're not on E, and so forth. I'm wondering if that is true - because honestly, after rolling for 5 straight weeks, and rolling pretty hard this past Saturday.. I really don't feel any sort of depression effects outside of being bummed out shortly after my friends are all finally gone home. Am I more tolerant of the crash-side of E? Is it simply my loving outlook and ability to enjoy life so fully that keeps me from being bummed and down? Hoenstly, I don't feel any tolerance effects yet; I rolled the Saturday before New Years, and on New Years Eve.. pretty close together - I felt just as good that night as my first time, for sure. It was intense! Last night, after only my first pill, I was feeling so loved up that I was amazed (it had been 2 weeks since my roll due to being sick the Saturday before) at how amazing it was again. Genuinely shocked at how euphoric/loving it was, all over again. I would like to think that I can continue with these weekly sessions (maybe taking every 3rd week off, so 2 weeks on, 1 week off, 2 weeks on, etc) and not have the experience fade, or have any chronic side effects. What are some of your thoughts? Oh, and sorry for the long-winded post. Just .. .. felt like sharing. =)
If its what you want to do go for it. Just be careful man, you have to live with that brain the rest of your life. Just cause you haven't crashed it doesn't make you invincible. If you fuck up your brain too much on X, you may not be severly depressed or anything, you'd probably end up being a dull old man. I don't want to be a downer or anything cause, I love X. Just limit it, tolerance'll creep up on you like a bitch. You won't see it comin till its too late.
Don't get the wrong impression here, I'm the first one to swallow a pill in my group, BUT rolling once a week sounds like a not so great idea. Like you said you don't feel depressed now but come later in your life is when depression will, if it does hit you. It's only been 5 weeks you said, and soon keeping up like that you can lose the magic. But it's your body, to do with as you please. BTW congrats on getting a good pill hook up. That's always exciting to get good pills for cheap!
wow, i just noticed this guys 25 and everyone whos givin him advice is 17, not like its bad advice or anything, just a coincidence... alright I'll shut up now.
and you yourself are 17, interesting rolling weekly will fuck you up but nothing some other pharmeceuticals can't fix if you got the health insurance to back it up
Appreciate the feedback, everyone. About what I expected. Most of the german research done on MDMA, which happens to be the only significant batches of testing (with large sample groups, and verification of MDMA by hair folicle testing and whatnot) seem to indicate that after about 3 months of use, the axioms and receptors related to Seratonin regenerate and begin functioning as normal again. Also, the same results seem to point to the total Seratonin loss overall during these use-periods falls somewhere in the threshhold of 5-10%, not the 50-85% indicated in earlier, less conclusive results back in the late 90s. I'm highly interested in your thoughts. Could some of you respond with how many pills you have taken, how often, and what some of the short and long term negatives have been in terms of your psychology and/or health? On a totally unrelated but rather interesting result, I have been suffering mild bronchitis the last two weeks due to my workplace being sick as hell lately. During those 9 hours on Saturday, I didn't cough once, I had no sore throat and my voice was back to normal. Mid-sunday, it returned and I was all sick again. I just thought that was funny - completely unexpected. In fact, I was worried that my symptoms would make my roll less pleasant - not that my pills would kick my bronchitis' ass into submission. Haha. Keep the replies coming guys! I'm really interested here.
to be completely honest, based off of my own experience and watching the people around me, i think that you're in a lot more danger of losing the magic than you are of seriously fucking yourself up. losing the magic is a scary thing. i haven't rolled since summer, but i've had times where i'd roll for days, way too many pills, not enough time inbetween... i never lost the magic, and it's hard to say, but i don't think it's affected me badly psychologically. if it has, the benefits definitely outweigh the damage. but when i think about those times, there is so much that i don't remember. i have met people who i see again from time to time and know that i know but i just can't remember from when or where. i've done things that i don't remember. there are gaps in my memories of adventures i've had which are really important to me and profoundly beautiful, the most amazing experiences i would be able to remember if i hadn't forgot them. i can tell that there is a difference between the normal blurriness of memories and these holes in the stories. i remember most of it, almost all anyone could expect to remember of anything. i don't want to make it seem like i don't. but it really kind of disturbs me to know that there are people who i had these magical experiences with, who i really connected with, and i don't remember them. pages have been ripped out of my book. mdma's positive effects outshine it's negatives (if you want to call them negative) by lightyears. i don't think my forgetting things is because of something the chemical did to my brain... i think it's just because i overwhelmed myself with so much, so quickly. it was so intense, and so much happened. every time was life affirming, awe inspiring, beautiful, divine, wonderful, everything that mdma is. but it all became one big mushy ball of gooey love and it isn't as crisp and clear and defined in my mind as those few times where rolling was an isolated event with a month or so on either side. it's not that i don't realize how special each time was... it's just that it all rolled into a big blob. i guess what i mean is, aside from a few handfulls of scenes that are still vibrant, that i can imagine now with clarity, it doesn't feel real. but y'know what? for the most part, i don't mind that. it depends on whether or not you care if the past is fuzzy. i don't, because, again, what i do remember is so valuable to me that it completely outweighs the fact that there's some that i don't remember. the positives are worth the negatives. i was pretty redundant, sorry. basically: if you don't space your rolls more, even if you don't get depressed or lose the magic, it's all going to congeal. if you're cool with that, then, right on.
Ok, I think I can give some very good input on this. When I was 25 I tried E for the first time, a buddy of mine scored it one night, went out to a club and we had the time of our lives, it wase probably one of the most memorable nights I can remember. For some reason that night it seemed that women were 'drawn' to me, I guess I was just glowing, met one of the most amazing women I have ever known that night, and she was not the only one who was drawn to me. Well, that night was a prelude to a lifestyle. All of us being our first times, not sure what to expect, we were all surprized how good it felt. Anyways, the next weekend we all did it again, and then it became the next weekend after that. We started going to raves when the rave scene was still really kicking, the E in my town was starting to explode, ironically my roomate became one of the biggest dealers in the area at the time, friends of ours who had never used it before started getting drawn into the group as well, it got to the point that it seemed like EVERYONE in the club scene was using E nearly every weekend. Our house became 'the place' for afterhours. It was normal for us to attend parties until 10 am the next day just about every weekend. Personally, I was using probably every friday and saturday night for a good 6 months straight. It was a very amazing time, I made SO many great friends, we all were such a close nit group. Well, these sort of things never last, it was like a wave that hit the town, it crested then started to fall apart. Eventually my roomate got busted, quality E was becoming more scarce in our town, cops were cracking down and they started closing down all the raves that came throught. Anyways, I had some friends that experienced some pretty serious side effects from long term semi-heavy usage. Personally what I experienced was waves of light headedness days after the weekend, it seemed to always hit me on wendsday/thursday. Some of my friends wound up being hospitialized for similar problems, passing out, lightheadedness, etc. Probably the hardest side effect was depression. It takes a VERY long time to become accustomed to a normal life again, I know that a lot of it was a direct effect from the drug, your brain becomes depleted of seratonin which regulates your mood. Not enough of it, you can simply not feel happy. I would say it took a good year of seldom if ever using it to feel completely normal again as far as my mood goes. I also think when the group apart I did miss that sense of closeness that I felt to all the people around me. A lot of my friends wound up on anti-depressants and some of them to this day, some of them moved on to harder drugs such as coke/meth etc. I personally think I am lucky to have gotten away without any serious long term effects. My ex girlfriend that met me at the very start of this was a good example, she started out as a straight laced med student in her last year of school, had a world of opportunity infront of her, but for some reason rolling switched something in her brain, and she went out and probably started using every drug on the planet, I felt like I had created a monster, that is one door I wish I had not opened because she was amazing when I met her. She did actually wind up being a doctor but the last I heard she got busted pretty hard for something, so who knows where she is now. It was such a life changing, and amazing profoundly effecting time of my life, I have actually thought about writing a book about it, the emotional rollercoaster and the extreme things I saw and experienced in that time was worth writing about, at the end it nearly tore apart the very fiber of the man I am today. I would say for me to truely regain the ability to feel happy again, feel passion for life, etc, probably took me at least 2-3 years. I am defnitely in a different mind set today, I am more of a high on life sort of guy now. The drug itself is not addicting, but the lifestyle and social aspects of it at least for me were VERY addicting. I suppose all I can say is its easy to get caught up in the wave of the moment, and your story sounds very similar to the way mine did. I can probably say I will never use E again. I lived the life at the moment to the fullest, and experienced something that many people never will. I would say more than once a month is excessive, I know it doesn't sound like it, but take it from someone who knows, it can and will screw up at the very least your ability to feel happy. . Be safe, and don't lose your head!
its true its true its truuuu Respect MDMA or it will rape your brain. Trust an etard...it's not fun. I didnt even roll once weekly for an extended period and I experienced paramount side effects. Granted ive used rediculously high doses in a 24 hour period which makes up for it (not in a good way). I know alot of people who ate 2-4 once a weekend. Took them about 9 months to realize they had done permanent damage. It's not the type of damage you will notice until you quit either, which makes rolling a very easy thing to get caught up in: it's too damn good.
Weird, I feel the same way as you. It was all good times and alot of love but I remember it all as one big whole instead of everything individually.
HAHA, bullshit. What side effects? I've done like 15 AVERAGE on a weekend and I consider myself perfectly healthy.
Just wait until 10 years from now when you have to be on a bunch of meds just to live a normal life. Or you think that the doctors, researchers, and people who have had years of experience with it dont know what they are talking about? How naive.
That's so true. I had like a 5 month period where I rolled a lot, and didn't really use self restraint and now I've noticed it effecting me.
HAHA ok buddy, talk to me in a couple years. I myself have exceeded these doses. Consider yuorself lucky. Ignorant folk who still believe that MDMA is a wonder drug amuse me. It's been scientifically proven almost irrefutably that MDMA is a neurotoxin. If i was spitting out street lore than I would be argueing about how "LSD can kill you with one tab!!!" but im not, MDMA has been researched and studied, and while the extent of the damage cant be known it IS known that it causes long term changes to the serotonin system. That paired with the fact that Im an anxious, impulsive, deppressed piece of shit completely void of a short term memory proves you so wrong that the stench of your incorrect(ness) radiates out of my computer speakers. Im not saying you dont feel side effects. Because i didnt for a long time even after doses like that. Each time is like a drop in the bucket and trust me...it will overflow eventually. I've spent about a year on this forum tryng to convince people by example to protect themselves from unneccisary and possibly permanent damage. And all you need is a bit of temperance (and a bottle of water + some vitamin pills). Humans have so much potential to use their mind and better theworld. It's a shame to see people not heading the warnings on pride alone and searing their neurons closed. But hey...happy pillin' to yah anyway
I go for month or 2 spurts of rolling weekly (once, one-two pills) and I don't notice much. BUT smartest guy I ever knew discovered e at the end of one school year and by the time the next one started (3 month summer break) his mind was so shot that he would just start randomly crying and laughing in class and had to be taken out in handcuffs/ambulance. that was about a year ago, now he just sits at his house and calls people nonstop to see if he can con them into getting rides for drugs, not the life he wanted. it's great stuff but just have to watch it!
