I had posted earlier about me and this chicks situation. Pastor's daughter, restricted, we love one another but people make things so hard. Well, on Saturday, her dad took me and my best friend out to lunch, and she came along. Also coming, the Youth Group Teacher. He wanted to touch up on my beliefs because he wasn't sure where I stood. So we talked about a whole bunch of different controversial subjects and took note of my response and where I stood on things. I cleared the air that I was no longer Christian, and my buddy cleared the air and dropped the "I'm Gay" bomb. ( Embaressing for him I know.) Everyone at the table promised to keep things confidential, and everything was left off on a good note. Good and dandy. Come Sunday. The only reason that motvated me to continue going to church was to see her, my love, my baby. Well, I guess things settle well with her parents and such. Because she told me I ruined any future hope of a steady relationship by not being a Christian. I thought nothing of it, "They'll get around." I was trying to talk to her about it between service, and her fucking mom LIED and said she had Choir practice, when indeed there was no Choir singing today. JUST so we couldn't talk, what a fucking bitch. Aaaaanyways, so church ends. I get to talk to her, and this is basically how it goes down. "Baby, your mom cut me off earlier, but. (Uneasy look on my face) (Pause) "I'm sorry, I just can't be a Christian anymore. But baby I love you, and that hasn't changed, and I hope it never will." ^John, it's not that I don't care for you. You know how I feel about you, but G-d told me if my man isn't a Christian, we can't be. And it's not what I want, because I want to be with you, but G-d comes first.^ "Yeah, I understand how you feel and all, but are we going to let this ruin us." ^It was your choice....^ (Odd silence... 5 minutes) ^Will I see you tonight for evening service?^ (Pause) ^Is that a no?^ (Pause) (Begins to tear) ^You're not coming to church anymore are you?(Tears now streaming)^ *How big of a hypocrite would I be if I came here, not believeing in Jesus? I still want to see you, but.......* ( I begin to tear) *I'm a fucking wuss, I already cried about this.* (We both laugh + Pause + Romantic Gaze) * Baby, I'm sorry if this gets you in trouble.* ( I proceed to get the hair out of her face and behind her ears. And we kiss, for what will be the last time.) ^ Oh John, why. Why do you have to do this?^ * Hey Trent, you ready to leave man? (Talking to somebody else)* ^ So I guess this is goodbye?^ *Yeah, Sorry.... about everything.* ( I begin to skate away and see her sitting down alone, crying. I hop off my board and run, run, run towards her.) *Baby, I tried to leave. I can't, I just can't. * ^ John, If you weren't a Christian why did you have to wait so long to tell me? Why did you have to wait for us to get so close?!?^ (Pause, she begins to full out cry.) ^ Why G-d? Why me?! John, I need you, I love you, but it just can't be.^ ( I move in for another kiss, and she moves back and says) ^ I'm SO sorry John, *Sob* I can't. I can't do this anymore^ ( I say "It's ok, It's ok." Over and over while I rub her thigh and her back (It's really cold and windy at this point in time.)) ^You know we're not allowed to sit next to each other?^ * So I'll stand.* ( I begin to leave, at this point, tears streaming down my face. As I'm walking away Katy turns me 'round. She begins softly hitting me.) ^ WHY JOHN?! Please just stay and be with me, please.^ *Sob* *Sob* John........ Don't go.^ ( Her mom walks out of the church door, now capable of seeing all that's happening.) * Sorry baby.* ( I give her the biggest hug I've ever given her. However, I make it quick because I can't stand seeing her cry, so I had to turn away. She runs off into the church crying, and leaves me cold-hearted.) Well, that's what happened. I broke my board today, just fucking stomped the shit out of it. Damnit, curse this fictional character Jesus; overwhelimg millions every day. I've known that girl for a year and a half of my life. I've loved her for a year now, and she was also my best friend. I guess I'm no longer going to be seeing her. Damn, after re-reading that it definitely didn't capture the moment. Maybe it's my shit ass writing skills, but man, this is sadder than Titanic. All because of a difference in beliefs........ I'm bummed out. I keep listening to "Yesterday" by the Beatles, over and over again......... Well, go ahead and post your worst breakup if you have one. ^ = Katy * = Me () = Narration P.S. Sorry for the horrible grammar. I'm in that "I don't give a fuck" moods, and I can care less now.
Thats horrible. Religion can cause so many problems. I'm not saying that it is wrong to believe in God or not but sometimes it gets in the way. You're still young and so is she. You both have time to sort all of this out. If it is true love, religion should not be able to keep you apart. It is not worth it to let it go to waste. On the other hand, being 15 years old and in love is something to question. It is difficult to know if this is worth fighting for. I know that I could not let something like this get in the way of love. I can't say I have ever had a really bad break-up. There has been a few "I hate to see you go" kind of times because of distance and things. When you are 15 and live 2 hours away from each other it doesn't work too well. Never any hard feelings. The worst I have had though was when I was 15 and I broke up with the first guy I ever really loved. It just wouldn't have worked out. I knew it and he knew it. Took days to finally decide it was over for good. We didn't speak until just recently. It took 4 years for me to want to speak with him again. I still feel akward and uncomfortable about it. He is a very strange person, I don't understand what I ever saw in him.
Some say love at my age is indeed questionable. And I agree, the things I see around my my age disgusts me, and makes me lose hope. But how I feel for this girl makes me certain again. Our relationship extended far beyond your typical Puppy love scene, beyond your 1 1/2 month and then on to another person type of crap. It was for real, and I'm certain everyone has said so, but if Love itself exists, then it is there in our presence when we are near each other, And even when we are miles away. Religion can indeed cause many problems. I'm certain what she felt/feels for me is real, it's just that she is one of the SUPER Christians you know? Especially since her dad is Pastor. Religion has caused more turmoil than the good it claims it is. And now since it has effected me personally, I'm going to make it a big goal of mine to do something about it. Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your hardships. Now I can say I know how it feels. Namaste, John.
Sorry to hear that man. I honestly didn't have much hope for your relationship, but I was still rooting for you 'cause I'm a hopeless romantic.
thats really shitty hon, im sorry it went down like that just think though, if you two manage to stay in contact, over time you might grow together again . she might become more mellow on the xian front, things might work out. when enough time has passed
Hopefully bro. As cold as this may sound, I've got to get over it. I learned from the past, no use to dwell on it. I haven't talked to her since, but I'm going to visit in maybe 3 or 4 months. Hey thanks Musikero. Always good to have someone cheering you on eh?
Sorry to hear all of that man, it always hurts when things like that happen and no one can make it better but time. On the plus side though man...from a totally different perspective I'd say you had a "good" breakup. Shit, I dated a girl for 4 fucking years, I thought I would marry this girl and I'm not the type to even consider and I got broken up with in a fuckin text message man...you got to see her to kiss her to say sorry and wish the best, anyhow not about me about you; take some time to yourself...get to know exactly who you are and what you want in life and a partner. Believe me, it sounds like the shitiest advice now but time really does work wonders for the soul and heart. Hope all goes well; it will.
I had a girl insist that she would stick with me through everything, and clear up the feeling she was having for another guy and i belived it. And she ended up cheating on me, stealing my best friend, and now that's happened she hates me because ive "been being a jerk".... Be sure you talk to her man. It might be hard but there will never be closure unless you can sort it out with her. But if she pulls some bullshit and refuses to talk to you (that sorta thing could happen) use that to get back on your feet and over her.
Bro, if you don't mind please elaborate on your breakup. My last question was for you to share your worst experience, and I guess if I look on the brightside I had it pretty good compared to you. @Predacious I actually gave her a ring today. Man it felt good to let it out. We basically established that we would be friends. It wasn't even awkward we were just kicking it like usual. I feel much better after that.
Dunno mine was really weird, I started to see the girl in early high school, stayed with her all the way through and throughout my first few years of college. We had reached a comfort level where we were best friends or a team if you will, truely and deeply in love. Weird things started to happen with her and her step family, she and her step brother got a place together even though we were supposed to move in together in a few months, her step mom became a crack head (which she used as an excuse for the breakup). I was just too naive to see bad things forming and before I knew it the day before I moved out she sent me a text saying that she was so sorry and just couldn't have "a boyfriend" at the time. Soon found out she was seeing her step brother; gross! I lucked out in hind sight, but it can be a fucked up world we live in sometimes...
Youre both still very young. Its good that youre both friends. Ultimately for a relat , someone has to be focussed on YOU. This thing couldnt work out at this time. You need the person , the time and the place for it all to fit together. At 15 , it was too much to expect her to go to war with her family. Religion to me means "obsessive following of a rule another person has made". Its not spiritual , its not values or right and wrong.Its all about power over people. Christ probably talked alot of sense and was extremely tolerant( altho I never met him , nor learnt his language) and one thing that pissed him off more than most was fanatics who abused scriptures and became scripture fundamentalists on their power trips. Your friend needs to keep growing and not be bullied by the brainwashed or actually un_Christlike fanatics Good luck
Thanks brother, Appreciate the encouraging words, same to all of you. Rivers dude, that blows man. I'm real sorry about that, I bet it hurt like hell. BTW, Is that you in your siggy pic? If so, that's a kickass Beard/Hairstyle.
hehe nah I wish, that's the late Jim Morrison; someday perhaps though =) I can't grow a beard worth a shit
