Okay, so i am absolutley in love with my fiance. I live with him, and will always love him. We have 1 HUGE problem though. He doesnt like hippys. He thinks that all we do is sit around and smoke pot and talk about things we should do, and we never take action on them. I, on the other hand feel like i should have been born in the 60's, gone to woodstock, and be a wise old hippy. Now, i have some good friends in MA who are willing and ready to let me live with them, i'll get some money put together, and i want to move to Oregon and become a part of a great co-op. I just really love this man. I don't want to change myself for him, but i equally do not want to loose him. Any wise words of advice? I am really stuck here.
he's just reacting to the stereotype. maybe you could come up with some creative ways to demonstrate how stereotyping is unfair to any group of people.
I tried explaining to him that we are not a stereotype, and there are a lot of different people doing different things. and just because i am pretty much labeled a hippy, and so are a lot of people doesn't mean i condone everything "hippys" do. I am a human and i dont agree with 90% of what humans do to eachother. (he brought up i guess a rally..i am not familiar with what he is talking about, but a protesting group of "hippys" brought up war veterans and yelled at them for what they did and poured paint on them or something) He still sticks with his "all they do is smoke pot and talk about doing stuff" attitude.
yeah, well...at some point don't people who sign on to kill innocent people in the name of global imperialism have to be called to account for their actions? war is personal. if he doesn't think so, maybe he approves of things you would not? i don't know. that's for you to decide. kinda sounds like HE'S going to try to change YOU. if so, you probably won't be able to live with it long term unless you're the submissive type.
I'm not submissive at all, and that is the problem. I guess i'm just fed up with his stuff. he IS in the army, and i cannot approve of that. I love him, and try to support what he does because i am very loyal and that is what you do for loved ones, but i cannot agree OR support killing innocent people...it will never happen.
i hear you. i could not love or support any man who would sell his soul. you know what you've got to do.
thank you darling, i do know what i have to do, i sometimes need support from other people though. Its a very hard thing to break somebody's heart.
You love your fiance. You don't like his basic approach to life. He doesn't like yours. Marriage sounds like a big mistake until AFTER that gets sorted.
Yes, i want to marry him, but am still a bit weary, it is a BIG commitment, and we are waiting 2 years at least (If we stay together that is). I am going to talk to him about it..I really just want to get an old school bus, and start a caravan, i just have to see if he is willing to come along. If not, then i will have to separate myself from him, I need to follow my dream in life. It's just so hard to get rid of somebody that you love so much.
too young to marry. neither of you are fully aware that your basic behaviors are set. a hippy and an army man don't really make much sense unless he becomes a hippy at some point, which happens to a lot of ex-military, but not all of them. i think this relationship is unlikely to thrive. first of all, like i said, you both have a lot of living to do. i never got the point of marrying early.
yeah, we do make a pretty odd couple. The only reason i want to get married young is because i want to start the rest of my life with that person, and there are so many things i want to do, I want to start as soon as possible, BUT i do not want to rush into anything that is just going to end up a big mess (which is the main reason i'm re-evaluating our relationship, and making sure this is what i want to do....and as of now i am not sure....obviously).
I know how hard it is but try to live for the moment. Don't think about the future and definately don't think about marrying him yet.. let the relationship unfold and see where it goes. Breaking up with someone because their views are different from yours isn't always a good reason because views change so easily with time. The relationship can either grow or fail but at least it was given a chance to survive if you give it time to breathe. The key is to take things slowly and just enjoy the time you have with him. I've found that finding yourself really takes a toll on relationships if you let it.
I don't really get your relationship from what you've said. I mean, if really deep down you're a hippie, and your fiance loves you, but he hates hippies...shouldn't you be questioning whether he really loves you? I don't know...that seems a bit odd. I'm sure you guys have some awesome things in common, but can you really completely love someone if you don't love something that MAJOR about them? That's a pretty big thing to disagree on. How did you guys get together in the first place? Did he not know that about you from the beginning? Did he just choose to ignore it? Maybe you two are meant to have a more friendship love instead of a long-term romantic love. It's up to you and him. Only you two know if it can really work. I just know that I, personally, would have a problem if the man I wanted to marry hated something so important to me. If your dream is to live the hippie lifestyle and he despises that lifestyle, then I don't know how your two worlds will mesh. Good luck in whatever you choose.
